Masculinity issues in society

Post Reply New Topic

Strong appearance of guys usually lure young women to attract them. The documentary of The Mask you Live In shared a lot of issues regarding masculinity. It not about women attracts to them, but these type of guys have a lot of mental health issues. The film depicts the issues of violence, alcohol and bully. It speaks about the issues of when young boys grew up, something influencing their behaviour they attack physical weakness of other boys. Those masculine guys attract women by judging their strong appearance would think relationships would be strong. Unfortunately, many psychologists are trying to help young women's minds about what kind of relationships they want.

The word of 'wanting' is a myth. Women more likely don't understand how their feelings will get hurt. We are speaking about domestic violence, alcoholic issues and aggression from those masculine guys. The problem is from these guys. From my observations I see them impacting womens' lives many more times than guys who don't have masculinity. The social attitudes impairs by the growth of technology and media. Many film characters encourages guys to build their physical strength to make themselves look good. This is a problem, by determining as 'role models'. Especially someone who wanted to be like 'The Rock' or Vin Diesel. They look strong, but its their own lives. Other peoples' lives are not a same as them. Hence we are seeing violence and alcohol issues. Football players are a same as well. Physical strength and aggression.

I am not trying to blame anyone on these issues. I am not a feminist. I am a human being, representing myself. I care a lot about everyone. And what I say from sharing my experiences and observations I am starting to understand what is going on with the society. Do we understand why many Aspie guys in their 20's doesn't get relationships? We can then blame on the influence of technology and media encouraging wrongdoing of women's minds of attracting to wrong people at the time they get hurt a lot. The education around disability awareness is very poor, especially here in Australia. In Australia we have alcohol problems too which alcohol impacts on relationships, which that also impacts on innocent people especially myself I don't drink. The women's choices in their 20's are stubborn. The rise of masculinity and society influences make things become unnatural.

My female friends kept getting relationships and casual sex from time to time. They attract masculine guys, but they tell me they don't think of that. Unfortunately, it something in their minds is impacting their realities. I am going to let professional psychologists to continue this observation. Ever wondered why marriage is getting later and later in western countries? You can explain to that yourself. It nothing to do with education.

While you aren't wrong that a lot of people (men included) are influenced by media, that's not really the reason most aspies guys get passed over.

It's behavioral, and by that I mean people are sh***y and don't know how to react to "abnormal" behavior like a lot of aspies people exhibit.

Women understand that men can be like that what the issue is is that media tells women that they can fix men like that and that it's romantic for women to find those men and heal them and fix them. But if course it's not their job and you can't fix other people. Nor should you be expected to.

It goes without saying that people of any gender can't fix other people, you can only support them while (and if) they work towards that goal themselves. And you shouldn't stick around to support people who hurt you.

And toxic masculinity definitely effects men with aspies. It effects all men. Why do you think so many people have terrible relationships with their fathers (or did at some point), and specifically related to being emotionally abusive? It's toxic masculinity. Why do you think there's so many entitled men who flip their s**t if women reject them or think physical intimindation (including yelling and getting in other people's personal space while arguing) is acceptable and often use it when arguing with women?

It's truly not an nt vs nd thing, it's just toxic masculinity and it's a cultural problem that effects everyone, regardless of mental state, sexuality, age, or life experience.

So, are you saying that it is the women's fault for not dating you because they are blinded by strapping, assertive, muscly men with deep voices and facial hair?

I lust for alcoholic, muscular bully guys. I can't get enough of them. I know, as a woman, that choosing an alcoholic for a partner will make my life really pleasant.

http://www.livescience.com/15309-humanl ... mates.html

Child abuse is more common by mothers according to child maltreatment reports.

A child was most likely to be victimized by his or her mother (40.5%). One “Parent,” acting
alone, accounted for percent of all perpetrators.
http://archive.acf.hhs.gov/programs/cb/ ... 1/cm01.pdf


something more recent, numbers still the same:

http://www.americanhumane.org/children/ ... stics.html

I usually tend to avoid posting here in The Demonweb PitsLove & Dating...

But I'd like to make a single comment to the issue about masculinity raised in the OP...

I somehow hope that your post was sarcastic.

It is, she is mocking the OP.

Maybe, but almost everyone I know has a terrible relationship specifically with their father, and will speak of their father constantly yelling at them and making them feel like they weren't good enough. My dad is a piece of s**t. Like how do you explain the sheer number of people who say their self worth issues stemmed from their father?

^
There are a lot who have serious and abuse issues with their moms too. Check the haven threads.

In my experience, and in my observation, there are many women who don't go for traditionally "extremely masculine" types.

They tend to go for guys who look and dress like guys, but who conduct themselves like civilized people, rather than a Rambo type. The topics of discussion tend to be gender-neutral, and the man and women engage in dialogue, rather than a one-sided conversation.

At the same time, most men don't go for extremely feminine types who constantly talk about things like makeup and fashion. They tend to like women who look and dress like women, yet conduct themselves like people, rather than like a Barbie doll.

Many Aspie guys in their 20s have trouble getting relationships because what they want is a huge social mismatch. A pretty girl in their 20s is not only a dating expert after doing it for years, but more than likely is looking for a committed relationship, as her friends are settling down and getting married.

It sounds like the OP believes that women have tiny brains, and choose brawny, aggressive men.

I don't necessarily think people being "sh***y" corresponds directly to not knowing how to react to aspie behavior. Even having Asperger's myself, I can see how some of my behavior might tend to make people uncomfortable, and if I wasn't that way personally I'm not sure I would know how to react to someone like myself either. It's not the greatest feeling in the world to feel rejected of course, but I don't know how much you can blame others for wanting to associate with people who they feel they can better relate to.

As far as the main topic is concerned, I do feel like issues with masculine stereotypes/expectations can tend to disproportionately affect people on the spectrum. I don't know that that always involves appearance/physique so much as it does behavior, though. Like the expectation that males should be the ones to make the first move in dating, for instance. That can be torture when you're interested in someone but have no idea what to say to them, or can't decide whether they would be interested in you in the first place. I think males can often be expected to provided security in the context of a relationship as well, which is tough when you yourself feel clumsy and anxious a lot of the time.

There are plenty of other things outside of dating I could go on to mention as well. I've always felt very out of place and insecure socializing with groups of men, because my interests, values, and personality tend to not really gel with them. I'm sure these sorts of issues affect plenty of guys not on the spectrum as well, of course. But I suspect NT's have a slightly easier time "adapting" to those sorts of standards to some degree at least.

So wait you're saying woman should assume that a man acts violently, has a drinking problem and is a bully....if they have a masculine appearance/persona? That's ridiculous. My boyfriend is certainly masculine rather than feminine and certainly not a petite guy and he's certainly not a violent alcoholic bully. Also, specifically pursuing non-masculine or more feminine males isn't going to prevent getting in an abusive relationship with some violent douschebag a male doesn't have to be masculine to be a bully.