Women's Expectations on Dating Sites

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NeantHumain
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30 Dec 2007, 2:20 am

So I finally signed up for PlentyOfFish.com with a sincere account instead of one meant as a prank, but I'm surprised at some of the things women in my age range (~20-25) are putting down. One, for example, said she was looking for "commitment." I'm not exactly sure about all the dating terminology, but how on earth can anyone reasonably expect an utter stranger to have any idea whether they would have any inkling towards "committing" to a long-term relationship (does that mean she expects a proposal in the not-so-distant future?)? Some of them seem bitter as they specify they aren't looking for liars or people just looking for sex. There is a surfeit of fatties, hicks/undereducated types, and single mothers; I don't mean to sound judgmental, but that's all extremely unattractive to me personally. I've also heard the gender skew is something like 10 males to every female, which probably makes the competition fiercer than it is offline (but there's no vaguely intimidating the competition when you never see them! joke, by the way).

How am I, a complete newbie when it comes to this stuff, supposed to make heads or tails of it? I really don't have set expectations; I just want to meet reasonably attractive women, get to know them a little, have some fun, and see where it goes. I don't even have a set type. Seeing the stuningly low quality of so many of these women too was very depressing for me. The act of signing up for an online dating service reeks of desperation. (Of course, that's where spin comes into play: I'm "experimenting" just to expand my chances.)



Who_Am_I
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30 Dec 2007, 4:18 am

Quote:
I just want to meet reasonably attractive women, get to know them a little, have some fun, and see where it goes.


Have you put that in your profile? If not, you should. There are women out there who are just looking for some fun.

As for the commitment thing, I don't know. I don't think that most of them want a proposal in the not-so-distant future (the sane ones don't, anyway) , but it might mean that they are not wanting just flings, that they are hoping that they will find a relationship that does turn serious.


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Tim_Tex
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30 Dec 2007, 11:20 am

And a lot of them are very shallow and more concerned on how much money someone makes or what he looks like, rather than the guy as a person.

That is why I limit myself to other Aspies.

Tim


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Topher
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30 Dec 2007, 11:36 am

Whats plentyoffish actually like? I've been curious about it but im worried if i sign up to a dating site all im going to see is women who are slags or who just want you to spend all your money on them. Plus all these dating sites is ee seem to sexualize it so much and that is just plain creepy.

Thing is, women looking for commitments are ok by me, it means they are after somethng a bit more meaningful, fi someone just wanted a fling I would be crushed. I've tried limiting myself to aspies like Tim but that has not orked out either, i had one who was immature and almost got me into trouble.



sarahstilettos
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30 Dec 2007, 11:40 am

When a woman says she's looking for commitment, I think all she means is that she wants a monogomous relationship with a view to things eventually getting more serious. The type of men she is trying to put off are the ones who like to see several women at once and would hate to be tied to just seeing one.



Topher
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30 Dec 2007, 11:48 am

Heh. I'm a one woman guy. I don't like putting my leg over or having a bit on the side, once i find someone, I will stay commited to them.



LePetitPrince
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30 Dec 2007, 11:52 am

NeantHumain wrote:
There is a surfeit of fatties, hicks/undereducated types, and single mothers; I don't mean to sound judgmental, but that's all extremely unattractive to me personally. I've also heard the gender skew is something like 10 males to every female, which probably makes the competition fiercer than it is offline (but there's no vaguely intimidating the competition when you never see them! joke, by the way).


....And when I said that you only find hags,insane girls and big imbalanced ratio on dating sites you called me a 'detestable moron'! :P

http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt50564.html



Topher
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30 Dec 2007, 11:56 am

whats the address for plenty of fish?



sarahstilettos
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30 Dec 2007, 11:59 am

Topher wrote:
Heh. I'm a one woman guy. I don't like putting my leg over or having a bit on the side, once i find someone, I will stay commited to them.


Exactly. I would guess that this is all a woman means when she talks about wanting 'commitment'. Certainly its all i would mean. I know there are some women out there who start evaluating a man's potential as a husband from date one... but they are freaks.



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30 Dec 2007, 1:06 pm

I made a plentyoffish profile a few weeks ago too but I put that I was just looking for a girl to talk to through instant messenger and email. I thought I'd get some interest since what I asking for was risk free and didn't require much effort on their part.

But no luck.

So I erased my serious about me section and wrote a fake joke about me.



Pugly
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30 Dec 2007, 1:19 pm

I've tried dating sites, most women don't interest me by their little blurb. And I think the way I write my profile sends many away... I either don't say enough on it... or I try to get creative and funny with it and obscure whatever good qualities I want to convey.

They women aren't terrible, but just sort of blah... I really hate email communication too. I can't establish a connection over email, and I can't strike up a good conversation over email. I'd try to talk over the phone or get in contact for a date as soon as possible. Don't let the communication flounder in email for very long...

I am in contact with one girl from plenty of fish, she seems interested in me too. I'll see where this goes, feels good so far.


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Tequila
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30 Dec 2007, 7:48 pm

Topher wrote:
whats the address for plenty of fish?


Try using Google. It works for me!

(It's at http://www.plentyoffish.com.)



Space
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30 Dec 2007, 8:26 pm

It is pretty common knowledge that dating sites give average women more credit than they are due. Girls who get no attention with in real life suddenly get 20 messages a day, and have dozens of guys to choose from. Then they get on their high horse and have long lists of requirements for a potential mate that get really ridiculous. Ever notice how many of the "success" stories from dating sites, are from women? For men, it seems like at best you can get some easy sex out of it if you know how to play the game right (e-dating is a game). It is a well kept secret among very good looking guys that if you look like Brad Pitt and you go onto lavalife etc then you will be swimming in p****. This is basically the extent of my knowledge on dating sites, take it for what it's worth.



Space
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30 Dec 2007, 8:28 pm

Tim_Tex wrote:
And a lot of them are very shallow and more concerned on how much money someone makes or what he looks like, rather than the guy as a person.

That is why I limit myself to other Aspies.

Tim

This is why you are going to be single for a long time. I'm sorry but AS people are less than 1% of the population, you're a nice guy Tim but seriously if you only look for an AS women you eliminate 99% of the female population as potential mates. But you don't seem to care about this so that is fine for you, good luck.



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30 Dec 2007, 8:43 pm

Space wrote:
It is pretty common knowledge that dating sites give average women more credit than they are due. Girls who get no attention with in real life suddenly get 20 messages a day, and have dozens of guys to choose from. Then they get on their high horse and have long lists of requirements for a potential mate that get really ridiculous. Ever notice how many of the "success" stories from dating sites, are from women? For men, it seems like at best you can get some easy sex out of it if you know how to play the game right (e-dating is a game). It is a well kept secret among very good looking guys that if you look like Brad Pitt and you go onto lavalife etc then you will be swimming in p****. This is basically the extent of my knowledge on dating sites, take it for what it's worth.


What's wrong with being an average woman? Although I've never joined a dating site, I've looked through them enough to notice that most of the men AND the women aren't very attractive, and don't have interesting profiles. That doesn't mean none of them are worth dating - it just means that the men and women are in each other's league, but women get to be pickier.

The only reason women can be pickier is because there are less of them online, not because the women are lower quality than the men are. Although maybe you weren't saying that. Men also experience the success stories, just in a lower ratio because there aren't enough women to go around. It does suck when women use this to their advantage, but to be quite honest, if there are 20 guys messaging me, I'm going to pick the one I'm most interested in. (Read: Not necessarily the best looking, or with the most money...the one that I like the best). Tell me you wouldn't do the same if you had 20 women to pick from. I wouldn't even dream of a list of requirements....those women are not worth your time. But I'm not representative of all women, I know.