How to know if a NT likes you?

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zpeare123
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14 May 2016, 7:39 pm

I am asking how to identify if a NT likes you. I think that this girl likes me, we have A LOT in common and she tries to keep me talking (no one ever does that)



SpaceAgeBushRanger
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15 May 2016, 6:49 am

I'll take a crack at this, though I don't really have much expertise...

When I'm trying to understand flirting, I don't differentiate on this basis of neurology. I don't trust myself to be able to tell the autistic women from the neurotypical ones, although I'm more likely to think a woman is autistic if her flirting style alternates between invisibly subtle and incredibly obvious.

I suspect that a woman likes me:
-if she is always staring at me
-if she tries to be around me
-if she's talking to me when she doesn't have to
-if she smiles when she's near me
-if she laughs at all my jokes
-if she mirrors my movements
-if she uses my name as often as possible
-if she touches me in any way

I learned most of this stuff from googling things like 'signs of attraction' and 'flirting signals', which I don't recommend. The internet has a way of making dating sound absolutely miserable. Be suspicious of anything that talks about The Friend Zone, Red Pills, Alpha Males or Evolutionary Psychology - they'll give you the wrong idea. I like this article from Doctor NerdLove, I remember that this guide impressed me once, and this page by some Toastmasters group is also pretty good. Although you might want your parents out of the house for that last link.

And remember that all the examples listed in these things are exaggerated.



boofle
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17 May 2016, 10:06 am

zpeare123 wrote:
I am asking how to identify if a NT likes you. I think that this girl likes me, we have A LOT in common and she tries to keep me talking (no one ever does that)


ask her. she might be relying on body language to communicate her interest that you have possibly missed? so the best way to tackle it would just be to ask. removes doubts this way.



Jono
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17 May 2016, 1:41 pm

boofle wrote:
zpeare123 wrote:
I am asking how to identify if a NT likes you. I think that this girl likes me, we have A LOT in common and she tries to keep me talking (no one ever does that)


ask her. she might be relying on body language to communicate her interest that you have possibly missed? so the best way to tackle it would just be to ask. removes doubts this way.


What I would want to know is how do you ask without seeming awkward? I've learned to just bite the bullet and ask her she could join me for lunch or something but this has a habit of turning out badly if she isn't in fact interested, so I'd rather not risk it.rather not



boofle
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18 May 2016, 4:12 pm

Jono wrote:
boofle wrote:
zpeare123 wrote:
I am asking how to identify if a NT likes you. I think that this girl likes me, we have A LOT in common and she tries to keep me talking (no one ever does that)


ask her. she might be relying on body language to communicate her interest that you have possibly missed? so the best way to tackle it would just be to ask. removes doubts this way.


What I would want to know is how do you ask without seeming awkward? I've learned to just bite the bullet and ask her she could join me for lunch or something but this has a habit of turning out badly if she isn't in fact interested, so I'd rather not risk it.rather not


it's so difficult to answer this question with brevity. there are too many permutations to any given interaction/situation...the only thing i can offer, in the interests of being brief, is the following...

you are right to "bite the bullet" and ask anyway...don't ask, don't get...and the more you take a punt the easier it will hopefully get. if what you are doing is still not working then aim for the direct approach. she will either say yes, or no, but least there won't be any uncomfortable situations due to misunderstandings?

the more practice you get, the less awkward it will feel...and this will translate in how you come across (appearing more confident) ...as for preferring to avoid the risk taking...everyone has to brave that to some degree or other, i'm afraid.
: )