Cheating and competitive behavior

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It seems like most people see dating as a game and that they care more about how many people they can attract instead of forming a bond with one person. I also notice that a lot people go after others who are already in relationships and that they almost seem to thrive on sabotaging these relationships.

There are some couples though, who are happy and stay together for a long time and don't seem involved in this competitive behavior. I was wondering if there might be certain people that might not be as like to play or want to play these kinds of games.

Based on my experience, most people older than age 25 get sick of the games.

There are plenty of non-game players. Plenty. They are just very hard to find because they aren't out there playing.

Do women do the competitive thing to in terms of how many people? I know many guys do. Wasn't aware it went both ways.

I also think more people want a bond than can form one. Some people think they want it, then realize they don't; Some are just simply too scared to be vulnerable enough to actually form one; some have been hurt and are super defensive but are dying on the inside for that bond.

I wouldn't say it is most people, but it is surely some people. It is sometimes immaturity, but it is perhaps more just character and personality -- the same people who would treat dating that way are going to be the same people who will cheat in school or in business, or steal money from the government, or commit any number of other anti-social acts. Some such people achieve worldly success; others eventually get caught at something and go to jail.

Yes, it seems like a lot of women are like that too because they seem to try to get attention from most guys and act hostile towards other women, even when the other women aren't trying to compete with them. I worry that if I'm in a relationship other women might try to persuade my SO to leave also. They might see me as someone who's inferior and then try to keep me from being with someone. I think if I was in a relationship with someone I don't think I would want very many people to know about it because of this reason.

Dolly Parton is the relevant authority.

I don't. I'm too loyal. There's plenty guys like me we just aren't deemed worth dating because we aren't competitive successful people.

Makes sense that competing people who get good jobs and such would also be competitive in other aspects and like constantly working to get a better paying job would likely also constantly be on the look out for a better SO.

being with those people requires you to constantly be evolving and never slipping out of shape. Thou for women it's impossible to keep that 20 year old looks, people get old. People gain weight, people change. What they want today may be different to what they want tomorrow.

Seems most people want a perfect SO. I beleive the one you love becomes the perfect SO, because what you desired or rather thought you desired in a mate changes as you love them deeper.

Where might I meet people like this? I have some hobbies, but the most of the people I meet in these activities are either female or much older than me.

Probably anywhere, they aren't limited to one group or culture.

Similarly all my activities only interact with males.

Have you tried dating sites? You're quite pretty so will likely draw lots of men, you're just have to be careful to find a nice loyal one.

I tried dating sites a few years ago and it didn't work out very well because some of the guys that I met would make me uncomfortable and I didn't feel like I could relate to most of them. It didn't seem like it was worth the cost either

Okcupid is a free good one.
At least I'd put you out there as interested in dating,might find you men you wouldn't otherwise. Always be careful meeting up though. I prefer to message for few weeks first then meet in a public place.

Sorry they made you feel uncomfortable

I know what you mean guys who play games irritate me. But there are the good ones you just have to search for them.

Personally my morals are strongly against cheating. If you want to sleep with multiple people just don't be in a relationship.

Equal parts attraction and bond forming make for a good relationship.

I think anyone who is manipulative or creates drama deserves to be called out.

There was a NT woman that posted here who I suspected was doing this, so i questioned her. She admitted it, made thing more interesting. I have no problem calling that behaviour out.

I just saw an excellent show by David Baddiel about growing up in a dysfunctional family. It was funny show but very close to the nerve, also talking about his father's dementia.

Part of it was how his mother was very sexually forward about her on and off affair of several decades. Not hesitating to offered up information an drop hints in from of here children and well as a need to be in the spotlight.

The man is question was also called David. David Baddiel was once given a letter to read out by his father, which he thought was addressed to him. It was actually a love letter addressed to the other David stocked full of heavy sexual innuendo. Yet the father still was confused about what it meant, becuase he though it was addressed to his son.

I have found that meeting people through family or friends, or through situations where people share the same or similar interests, are the best places to meet suitable, non game-playing people.

Go to lectures. Go bowling. Things like that. Don't go to bars/pubs.

People who are in the "dating scene" are not people with whom I would get involved.

Dating sites would be a part of the dating scene then so maybe that's not a good place to start, besides the others reasons I mentioned.