AS - AS relationships are awesome

Page 1 of 3 [ 33 posts ] Go to page 1, 2, 3 Next

Seventh
Pileated woodpecker

Joined: 4 Sep 2011
Age: 47
Gender: Female
Posts: 178

17 Sep 2011, 6:52 am

I'm an AS female and both of the guys I have been really in love with are AS too. I have a feeling I'm only able to love AS guys. I was in a relationship with a really sweet NT guy but just couldn't love him as passionately.

Do you think there is a certain kind of addictive intensity that is unique to AS-AS relationships?

In my first AS-AS relationship - this was many years before I'd even heard of Aspergers - we felt like we'd known each other in a past life. In retrospect this was probably because we "understood" things about each other that did not have to be spoken. We eventually broke up because of our communication issues (I did not know anything back then about Aspergers). I had another AS boyfriend briefly but then he came out as gay and now we're best friends. I'm now in love with another AS guy. I think I just love really, really smart Aspies (lucky I am one, lol). I love how they have interesting things to say, they're passionate, they're honest, they're loyal and they're not conformists.

Can anyone here relate?

Surfman
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 1 Aug 2010
Age: 63
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,938
Location: Homeward bound

17 Sep 2011, 4:40 pm

Yup

I'm a recently discovered aspie, but looking back on my best friendships and girlfriends, the best of these were with spectrumites.

I still love an girl who still loves me, but shes too savant like and insane to a degree that makes a stable relationship very difficult for me. Its easier to not see each other

Joker
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 19 Mar 2011
Age: 37
Gender: Male
Posts: 7,593
Location: North Carolina The Tar Heel State :)

17 Sep 2011, 11:15 pm

I have dated a girl who was AS we didnt break up she ended up moving away had she not moved away we would have never broken up thats how great we where with each other we never fought or anything we just liked being around each other

League_Girl
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 4 Feb 2010
Gender: Female
Posts: 27,317
Location: Pacific Northwest

18 Sep 2011, 3:39 am

I was with one aspie guy but it sucked. He was too judgmental and ignorant, narrow minded and wouldn't listen because he stayed ignorant when I correct him. He also had a racist mind.

hale_bopp
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 2 Nov 2004
Gender: Female
Posts: 17,054
Location: None

18 Sep 2011, 3:46 am

I have no preference. It's more about personality to me.

J-P
Velociraptor

Joined: 21 Oct 2008
Age: 37
Gender: Male
Posts: 487
Location: Montréal,Québec,Canada

18 Sep 2011, 8:05 am

League_Girl wrote:

I was with one aspie guy but it sucked. He was too judgmental and ignorant, narrow minded and wouldn't listen because he stayed ignorant when I correct him. He also had a racist mind.

What you would do with me i'm a big misogyn,racist,full of hatred,homophobic and fascist

curlyfry
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 13 Jun 2010
Age: 57
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,502
Location: Latitude : 45.373. Longitude : -84.955

18 Sep 2011, 1:33 pm

@ Seventh, You had 3 Aspies. Where are finding these guys?

League_Girl
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 4 Feb 2010
Gender: Female
Posts: 27,317
Location: Pacific Northwest

18 Sep 2011, 1:45 pm

J-P wrote:

League_Girl wrote:

I was with one aspie guy but it sucked. He was too judgmental and ignorant, narrow minded and wouldn't listen because he stayed ignorant when I correct him. He also had a racist mind.

What you would do with me i'm a big misogyn,racist,full of hatred,homophobic and fascist

Dump you.

Seventh
Pileated woodpecker

Joined: 4 Sep 2011
Age: 47
Gender: Female
Posts: 178

18 Sep 2011, 1:54 pm

curlyfry wrote:

@ Seventh, You had 3 Aspies. Where are finding these guys?

We gravitated towards each other. Spotted each other across the sea of NTs

metaphorically speaking.

Other aspies have just seemed to be the people who enjoy my company and vice versa. Something unspoken, we just seem to "click". With NTs I tend to "do their heads in", so to speak, with the way I talk. I either scare off NT guys, or I'm scared of scaring them off, or they can't hold my interest. Three aspie guys isn't actually a lot considering that I'm 32, and one of them came out as gay

Having said that AS-AS relationships are awesome, they can still be difficult though, and by no means free of communication problems and the occasional meltdown. But I think it's worth it

A good benefit of having an NT partner, though, is that they're more likely to have a larger social circle that most aspies can benefit from. One of my aspie friends, he has tons of friends whom he met through his NT boyfriend, but I'm his only close friend whom he didn't meet through his boyfriend.

Joker
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 19 Mar 2011
Age: 37
Gender: Male
Posts: 7,593
Location: North Carolina The Tar Heel State :)

18 Sep 2011, 3:51 pm

League_Girl wrote:

J-P wrote:

League_Girl wrote:

I was with one aspie guy but it sucked. He was too judgmental and ignorant, narrow minded and wouldn't listen because he stayed ignorant when I correct him. He also had a racist mind.

What you would do with me i'm a big misogyn,racist,full of hatred,homophobic and fascist

Dump you.

I would do the same thing

nick007
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 4 May 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 28,552
Location: was Louisiana but now Vermont in capitalistic military dictatorship called USA

18 Sep 2011, 11:31 pm

Seventh wrote:

My experience is a little different. I had an addictive intensity with my ex girlfriend who was an atypical NT(she had sever Dyslexia, ADHD & some OCD). Things were very intense because of our great chemistry but it made us highly unstable.
Things are not as intense with my Aspie girlfriend but they are a lot more stable & secure. Its kind of like we're an older married couple who never fights.
I think this might could be related to our Myers Briggs Personality Types. I'm a hard-core ISTJ, my ex was an ISTP, & my girlfriend is an INTJ

_________________
"I don't have an anger problem, I have an idiot problem!"
~King Of The Hill

"Hear all, trust nothing"
~Ferengi Rule Of Acquisition #190
https://memory-alpha.fandom.com/wiki/Ru ... cquisition

minervx
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 13 Apr 2011
Age: 34
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,155
Location: United States

19 Sep 2011, 2:12 pm

Aspies are proportionately rare. There may be an incredibly high success rate, but where would they be found.

Seventh
Pileated woodpecker

Joined: 4 Sep 2011
Age: 47
Gender: Female
Posts: 178

19 Sep 2011, 8:22 pm

minervx wrote:

Aspies are proportionately rare. There may be an incredibly high success rate, but where would they be found.

I believe there's a higher concentration of them on university and college campuses, than in the wider community in general.

Tim_Tex
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 2 Jul 2004
Age: 46
Gender: Male
Posts: 46,684
Location: Houston, Texas

19 Sep 2011, 11:30 pm

You're preaching to the choir!

I have done better with partners on the spectrum. On the other hand, they would have to be on the mild end, like me.

Seventh
Pileated woodpecker

Joined: 4 Sep 2011
Age: 47
Gender: Female
Posts: 178

20 Sep 2011, 12:30 am

Tim_Tex wrote:

You're preaching to the choir!

I have done better with partners on the spectrum. On the other hand, they would have to be on the mild end, like me.

I love preaching to the choir! Preach to anyone else and they get annoyed

bruinsy33
Velociraptor

Joined: 31 Jul 2011
Age: 59
Gender: Male
Posts: 446

20 Sep 2011, 1:13 am

Seventh wrote:

minervx wrote:

Aspies are proportionately rare. There may be an incredibly high success rate, but where would they be found.

I believe there's a higher concentration of them on university and college campuses, than in the wider community in general.

Maybe you could elaborate a little on that statement ,not sure if I agree.

Page 1 of 3 [ 33 posts ] Go to page 1, 2, 3 Next

Jump to:

AS - AS relationships are awesome Post Reply New Topic

AS - AS relationships are awesome