What I want

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All I want is to find someone that likes me and wants to spend time with me and go and visit interesting places with me and be my plus one at social things that have invites reading Hurtloam plus one.

I can't believe that's so difficult to find.

Rant over.

Me too... Wanna hook up?

In all seriousness, though, I wish I knew how to help you out. All I can really say is "don't give up, you'll find that guy eventually", as clichéd as I know that sounds.

What kinds of things do you like to do?

Let's go Bowling!

I am not sure what I want, honestly.

My lady friend is all of what you listed (who's like my best friend, but we go out 1-to-1 all the time, and she obviously likes me):

She is 100% a "someone that likes me and wants to spend time with me and go and visit interesting places with me and be my plus one at social things that have invites reading me plus one"

But there's few big incompatibilities (ie. religious outlook on life and on others: she's totally devout, I am totally atheist plus other things) that are scaring me to go into serious commitment with her; and it's something that can't change and I don't really want to go for her just because "there's no other better option", I thought about it but I had big feeling of guilt. I guess I am too logical to do a such 'leap of faith', kinda stuck.

One thing is for sure, once she finds someone then I may die from jealousy but I doubt from regret, and this day is probably inevitable unless I find someone who likes me and is like her + compatible enough on major life outlooks.

OK Boo, I'll admit I do have a few provisos like we must be compatible with spiritual perspectives on life and I want to be with someone I am attracted to and who is attracted to me. I'm not at The Mirror has 2 Faces point in my life quite yet (it's a Barbara Streisand film)

But I find something attractive about most men and i've met men with similar spiritual views to me and whom I feel like I have a good rapport, but none of them ever like me enough to want to spend time with me.

Interesting how you interpreted what I wrote. I would definitely say that you and her don't have the same spiritual perspectives.

Your posts, so often, resonate with me. I think we might experience vast similarities, so, if I may offer you the following - If the one you wind up falling for, happens to be an Aspie, be sure you take control of your feelings (<---an oxymoron with regard to myself) at the get-go. It isn't an easy feat for many Aspies to be exposed to the level of intensity that we might feel and/or express our emotions, and the way we go about expressing ourselves can either benefit our relationships, or, produce dire consequences in the end, and grieving the loss of an Aspie is like no other grief you might ever experience (if, in fact, it were to come to that), as their are components thrown into the mix, that cause the grief to become far more unbearable than one might conceive of. Be sure you are knowledgeable about the intricacies and different ways that Aspies have of processing emotions, which may differ from your own (as I learned to late, with regard to my own experience), sorting through misunderstandings, other's needs and expectations, etc., vs. your own. If you haven't already done so, read a few books to become enlightened. My ignorance cost me the loveliest friend and most special experiences, and the regret I have, will likely stay with me, forever. Just my 2 cents. I hope you find a wonderful companion/friend/partner to experience life with, as you are a lovely, most deserving person.

Thanks Britte. Im not sure I understand your comment though. I am on the spectrum.

this is a tough one to figure out. "what i want". it's easy in theory, but in practice, i just don't know what use i can be to someone else and what use they can be to me

i want a minimalistic life, with crazy breaks for backpacking-style travel from time to time. which means no children and no steady career. and to me this is more important than being in a relationship, even if it means not being in a relationship ever again. but i want company, and ideally it would be forever. i want to be away from the rest of the world together with someone else. someone who, like me, sees social things as a necessary evil, and who would only invite me or expect me as a "plus one" at social things for support, not for my own benefit. that would actually make me feel valued

i still don't know if it's just a fantasy though. people normally want to have children. and when they don't, they usually want and value a social life anyway