Personality is more important to me

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Our society seems to be obsessed with bodies. Some people seem to care less about personalities and facial appearance than they do body type when looking for a man or a woman.

But I don't care about body type that much. Personality is extremely important to me, facial appearance is a little important, but body type hardly matters at all. Sure, I find some body types more attractive than others, but it won't determine whether I want to start a relationship with someone or not.

So why is body type so unimportant to me and is it unimportant to anyone else?

Body appearance is important to me (and to most men, it seems) in the short term; but unless the woman is nice to me, is intelligent and educated, and has a generally upbeat personality, it simply won't work out in the long term.

Like Fnord said, in essence.

One can only go so far looking glamorous and beautiful, handsome and hunky.

I think any general body type can look good if the person practices basic hygiene and takes care of themselves, so I cannot say I've ever had an exact body type preference when it comes to relationships. I find the personality and compatibility like how we get along most important but I do still care about if I find them physically attractive. For me though there isn't an exact dividing line between personality and looks...personality can effect how people look to me. Since I've gotten to know my boyfriend more over the time we've been together he's only gotten more attractive.

Body appearance can say a significant amount of personality. Does the person care enough about themselves to brush their hair and wear clean clothes? Does their posture suggest confidence? Does their weight and muscle tone suggest they are athletic? Do they like showing a lot of skin or are they more modest?

We're not all looking for the same things, either. If you have mostly sedentary interests, you're probably not as attracted to the person who looks like a marathon runner. (You might find the person attractive, but you're less likely to actually approach them.) If you're a quiet introvert you are less likely to be comfortable with the person who is falling out of a skimpy outfit.

For some evidence of this, take a look at people around you who end up as stable couples. More often than not, they tend to resemble one another in some ways.

But can you really say what influences your attraction? It's not exactly the most rational process. You may think that you only care about personality and not physical features, but maybe you consider personality attractive because you find person's physical features attractive? Unless you communicate online only of course.

I am not super picky when it comes to physical looks. I of course have to find her to be physically attractive but I don't expect her to be some super model or skinny or tan or have her hair and makeup done or wear trendy clothes or any of that other junk. That of course also shouldn't mean that she can just be a lazy slob. I have standards but I don't have them set so high that I will only date women that are some stereotypical ideal of beauty.

I care about personality instead of looks in general like body type & facial appearance.

This is an interesting thread! I do think that personality and charisma are more important than looks, for the most part. I don't usually notice a person's appearance in any detailed way the first time I meet them...so those aspects tend to dawn on me slowly. I do not believe a man who is very beautiful can remain so in my eyes if he is unkind, aggressive, or simply unpleasant to be around. I have become attracted to men over time, with repeate exposure, whom I did not initially find attractive because their personalities or mannerisms were so fascinating or compelling. I work with a man that has the sexiest personality I have ever seen, but other women describe him as too skinny, balding, awkward and unattractive. What I see is a genuine person who is comfortable in his own skin, has many admirable skills, and is unbelievably kind, gentle, and always upbeat. It is such a different way of viewing fellow humans, to categorize them by outward obvious features only.

Body type is important to me, but I'm attracted to several types. I'm married and have been for almost 30 years but back in the day I dated several types of guys. Once I even dated a guy based solely on looks and who had zero personality and was as dumb as a bag of rocks. That guy was the best looking guy I ever saw though, plus he rode a kickass bike too and was some high level black belt in kung fu. We dated for a few months and he was head over heels for me but I couldn't deal with the stupidity for all that long. He was way out of my league and I really enjoyed looking at him, and I didn't even care that he was hung like a mosquito and horrible in the sack. However he took me on the best dates anybody ever did. We went exploring caves or shooting guns or racing his bike on the freeway or camping and fun stuff like that. It was much better than the dinner, movie, dancing thing that most guys suggested. However most girls didn't like his dates and I did.

But after him I decided that I had to step up my standards for personality. A boyfriend needs to be more than arm candy, so I agree that personality is important.

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I'm giving it another shot. We will see.
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