Using the bathroom on a date/seeing someone?

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LimboMan
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01 Jul 2016, 9:43 am

There's this problem for me that is big enough for me not wanting to get out there and meeting girls and people in general (I'm looking to have my first relationship sooner than later)
One of them is using the toilet if your on a date or if you possibly go back to their place. This probably sounds ridiculous and a lot of it is my imagination but its an anxiety of mine I really struggle with.
When I get nervous about things I tend to urinate or more recently need a number 2 more often, ie. social situations. And I'm sure dating someone will be a nervous experience for me. If I go on a date, I could see myself being worried about toilet facilities and whether there's enough of them, and worry about being desperate to go but unable to and ruining the date, not enjoying myself. When I leave the house I always find it difficult to use public bathrooms especially if there will be a queue or the pressure of time to go. I could see myself going on a date, going to the toilet and being unable to go knowing they would be waiting for me, or if there was a queue or some situation in the Men's bathroom made me unable to go.
Then there's if you actually go back to their place, or whoever's with the possible expectation of sex. I could see myself having anxiety about the situation like what will happen, what's expected from me and go to their toilet or whoever's and not be able to go because of anxiety about the change of situation, or the pressure of them waiting for me, and thoughts going through my head. But of course I would need to go before something like sex would happen, not say midway something like I need to pee or worse :roll: This is especially true with we drink liquids or something like alcohol.

Is anyone else like this? Are there any places that would be good dates but likely have enough toilet facilities? I don't drink enough when I go out in public to stop me going less even on a hot day.

Any help appreciated


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kraftiekortie
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01 Jul 2016, 9:47 am

All cinemas, and the vast majority of restaurants, have toilet facilities in the US. You have to be a customer, though, usually.

If you're in Europe, it's probably easier than it is in the US. Throughout Europe and the UK, you could go into any McDonald's and use the facilities. There's also usually public toilet facilities as well--though some cost about the equivalent of 50 US Cents to use.



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01 Jul 2016, 9:50 am

Take every number before you go out, and if you're worried you won't "go" in time for the big date, I think coffee helps resolve that. So have a coffee before that.


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LimboMan
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01 Jul 2016, 10:42 am

TheSpectrum wrote:
Take every number before you go out, and if you're worried you won't "go" in time for the big date, I think coffee helps resolve that. So have a coffee before that.


Nice ideas thanks!

As for coffee I'm a avid drinker so shouldn't be a problem. I did think initially maybe going to a coffee shop was a good first date, but perhaps I should drink something other than coffee there after seeing the video above :D


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TheSpectrum
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01 Jul 2016, 10:54 am

Sorry there was supposed to be a video but youtube isn't working for me:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q3k6JoXTJdk

There it is!


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kraftiekortie
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01 Jul 2016, 11:00 am

All coffee shop/diner-type places have bathrooms.



nick007
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01 Jul 2016, 5:38 pm

I would see a doctor about frequently using the bathroom to rule out medical causes & perhaps find a way to treat it. There might be meds you can take regularly or as needed so you don't have the urges as much & you can also try anxiety medication sense anxiety is a factor. Some anxiety meds like BetaBlockers or benzos can be taken as needed like before you leave the house to meet someone.


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LimboMan
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03 Jul 2016, 1:41 pm

Thanks for the replies I will consider going to see my doctor about concerns about bladder.
Just to add about the situation if I'm seeing someone going back to their place after a date for example. Usually if say I go to a friend's house I haven't been before, or even a bathroom I haven't been in, for some reason I tend to get "locked up" and struggle to go, knowing that there is pressure of them waiting for me and worried this would happen before sex or something. Do you think this would be a big turn off for women or hopefully I could find someone understanding about this. Maybe the anxiety meds would help.
Thanks! :)


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The_Face_of_Boo
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03 Jul 2016, 1:56 pm

Now imagine the flush turned out to be malfunctioned...



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03 Jul 2016, 1:56 pm

Using extra coffee before a date is likely to backfire on you. Pun intended. If you are already having an anxious bowel, more coffee will make it worse, not better.

Benzos also likely to not be the affect you are looking for, as you are now dating while high. And she's going to notice. I don't know about beta-blockers. Might be worth looking into.

Krafty - he said he doesn't want to use public facilities. Its a thing. I don't have the same problem, but know a lot of people do.

I wonder if you could find a nice local cafe or something and get yourself use to their bathroom. Look for somewhere that has a one-toilet room, go in their a few times, get the feel. Outside the toilet room, get to know the menu and get familiar with some of the wait staff. Tip them generously so that they look forward to your presence. That way, when you have a date, you can focus on her (I assume your are into women) as the only new factor. Everything else will be much more comfortable. I have a local pancake house that's this way for me. Its the only bathroom outside of my own where I'll poop comfortably. They know my order and they know I want coffee right away. This kind of comfort would impress your date, too. Women often observe how men relate to the waiter in order to decide if the man they are dating is a good guy, so being comfortable with them might get you some good first date points.



nick007
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03 Jul 2016, 4:37 pm

somanyspoons wrote:
Benzos also likely to not be the affect you are looking for, as you are now dating while high. And she's going to notice. I don't know about beta-blockers. Might be worth looking into.
I take Klonpin & I tried Ativan & Xanax before & I never felt high or anything. In fact Klonpin calms me down when I'm hyper. Benzos mostly just help my anxiety alittle but I take a lower dose thou. If anyone tires a benzo; I would highly recommend trying them at home 1st so you know how they will effect you before trying them when you go out. You could also try Buspar. It helps with the physical symptoms of anxiety & also helps me with the mental 1s. Before I started Buspar I was having some panic attacks that made me use the bathroom alot. Buspar is safer than benzos but like antidepressants you have to be on it awhile to notice benefit. Antidepressants can help anxiety too but I would suggest trying something more specific for anxiety if your not depressed.


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