Flirting-Induced Panic

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I am really not used to being flirted with.

Last weekend after I was singing at an open mic in a pub, a woman I'd not-too-subtly checked out at the bar came over to me and started flirting, HARD. Dream come true, surely? Nope. I panicked, couldn't keep a conversation going, and eventually made excuses and went home early. Never mind finding out if we liked each other- I fled!

Similar thing happened about a year ago, with a barmaid I had a bit of a crush on, who I was skittish around from then on. In both cases, they were full-on to the point of touching, which didn't help- I'm not a touch-ey person at all, it makes me nervous. The Charm Offensive puts me into flight-or-fight mode, and I can't calm down enough to sieze the day or even to be polite.

Which is unfortunate, as I miss subtler signals entirely. On at least two occasions, I've cruelly blanked a woman's attempt to get closer to me, and only realised what I'd done when a friend pointed it out.

I'm a stout, hairy bedraggled mess who's not physically attractive to most women, though oddly enough I do get a bit of interest from younger men- apparently I'd make a /beast/ of a Bear if I was gay. And I guess the musician thing makes my messiness look countercultural? Still, flirting hasn't really happened to me often enough for me to have a strategy yet... and as I'm not really actively /looking/ for a girlfriend, it always catches me by surprise.

Does anyone else here, male or female, have this problem with flirting-induced panic? ("Oh, you poor THING" I hear you say.) Have you found ways to deal with it?

(Before you say the obvious- "talk to them like they're PEOPLE!"- I actually get on much better with women than with men, but as friends. It's taken me years to start trusting men to the same degree I trust women. I've always been pretty awful at romance. One real relationship, a few weeks of awkward dates with someone, and that's it. But my closest friend and the friends I've known the longest are all women)

People don't flirt with me too often. I sort of panic when it does happen.

What I do: I try to flirt back.

If a guy flirts with me, I stop it right there. I talk about all the GIRLS I've been with.