Am I the guy women will have to settle for?

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As I've said a dozen times before, I've never had a girlfriend. Sometimes I think that'll never change because I'm too antisocial and come across as abrasive a lot of times, other times I think I just haven't found the right woman yet and she'll come by someday. One thing that never changes, though, is the worry that, even if I were to find a woman willing to learn to love me, she'd be settling for someone less than she deserves. What I'm terrified of is that someday I'll find a woman who means everything to me, but I'll constantly have that nagging doubt that she regrets ever getting into a relationship with me. I don't lie to myself, I know there are tons of better looking, more interesting, more outgoing men than me in the world. I feel like I'm the guy her friends would say, "Girl, you can do so much better!" when they're hanging out without me. It might even be worse if she tells me that's not how she feels, because I might feel like she's lying so as not to hurt my feelings. Maybe it's because my standards are too high. I won't date a woman I see as lazy, boring, fake, etc. I don't expect her to be a Victoria's Secret model, but I don't want to date someone who's morbidly obese either. I'm no prize myself, but I try to at least hold women to the same standards I hold myself to, you know? But then, once I've weeded out all the bad things I don't want, do I really deserve all those good things? Or should I just back off and let the women find men who actually deserve them?

That went on for longer than I expected (that seems to happen with pretty much everything I post). Anyway, got any advice?

I think most people, in essence, are people that other people will have to "settle for" to a certain extent.

I would say that if a woman has 3/4's of the ideal qualities which I desire, that I would absolutely pounce on that woman.

We are not God/Goddesses. Nobody's perfect.

The key, really, is to "not settle so much."

Last edited by kraftiekortie on 06 Aug 2016, 10:19 am, edited 1 time in total.

Noöne has to settle; they can always stay single.

Ok, so you are a psychopath.

He's not a psychopath. And no, he should not stay single. Naysayers please be careful. I see everything.

He called himself "Antisocial". Trying to teach the OP a lesson of differentiating between Asocial and Antisocial, which are words that many people throw around a lot without thinking about the difference.

Sorry, it's getting hard to tell the difference between an honest comment and somebody trying to bring a person down.
Also I think we have another mysterious thread where the OP abandons ship.

I was waiting for the OP to respond, but well, now the lesson is out there in the open.

I think a lot of people have that worry. But... There's no point worrying about something that might happen.

As kraftiekortie says. Most people kinda settle and compromise on certain ideals. That's not horrific.

I reckon most people have an ideal, but fall for someone who has qualities they like and they just grow an illogical affection for someone that just feels good and comfortable to be around.

You never know who you'll meet and what will happen. You could find a greater love than any of us. No one really knows.

That's KraftieKortie and Hurtloam. I haven't given up just yet. I tend to post these kinds of threads when I'm feeling down, but I'm better now lol.

Ichinin, I didn't reply to you because I didn't see a need to reply. What could I have possibly said to you calling me a psychopath that would be in any way productive? Start flame war? Nah.

i think the key is to remember what kraftie said. so, "are you the guy someone will be settling for?" yes, you are. but that's okay, because the same goes for everybody else. you too will be "settling for" your future partner, trust me. it's not something wrong with you in particular, it's a limitation of reality as a whole. passion can work wonders to make us blind, but it doesn't last forever. it's just a type of self-deception that evolved to help people see each other's qualities before they start to see each other's flaws, which are inevitably there, no matter who's involved

Most of the US culture says "Antisocial" when they really mean "asocial" or not very social. That is probably one of the most misunderstood words in the English language. I ran a study on this a few years ago, and something like 70% of students in Psychology classes misunderstood what Antisocial Personality Disorder was.