Do racial preferences make you a racist?

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I haven't been on here in a while, but I just wanted to ask, is it a bad thing to have racial preferences? Does it make a person racist if they only date a specific race? I am a 16 yr old caucasian female, and I have only been attracted to brown guys(e.g. Middle Eastern, East Indian, Latino etc). I don't know exactly why, but its been that way since I first started crushing on guys. My school and neighbourhood have a big Indian community and is pretty diverse in general, so maybe that makes a difference?? I have never been attracted to white guys. Is this a bad thing? Even if they were the sweetest guy ever, I couldn't see myself dating one. Does that make me racist or a bad person? I don't openly state my preferences, but I am still wondering, does that make me racist?

You like what you like.

If I were 16 years old, I would feel left out and frustrated--as I'm a white guy. I would probably find you pretty and want to go out with you. But I wouldn't be able to because I'm white. I wouldn't like that one bit---but I wouldn't transfer my feelings into other territory. I would be sad that I cannot date you--only.

I don't feel that's racist, though. It's your own personal preference.

Now...if you refused to SERVE a white or black guy at McDonald's, that's a different story

No. The ultra politically correct people would want you to think that, but just... no.

Racism is when you perceive and treat other races (or cultures???) as inferior. Hence any race can do that. Black, white, Chinese etc.

Just because you prefer people of darker skin does not make you racist against others. It's like being called a speciesist (yes, I made that up) for preferring cats over dogs.

Plus, "racial" (I use quotation marks because it can also be cultural) is... normal. I mean, some people grow up not seeing a lot of different nationalities. Heck, their knowledge of other people may be based on stereotypes. Add in the basic animal nature a being a bit xenophobic, some people just prefer their own "kind".

Some "races" end up having features I prefer. For example, I was born in Hong Kong. People there tend to be a bit too... dainty and sessile for my liking, hence I somehow, also due to how I spent some time in the UK, prefer "foreign" girls. They tend to have a more robust physique and are more up for physical activities such as hiking, martial arts etc. Of course there is a cultural component in there as well...

Also, not to go on a tangent, but I guess that is why older people get labelled "racist" a lot. My grandmother, honestly, never ever seen a black person in flesh, so naturally trusts her own than foreigners. More ignorance than actual racism.

Last edited by D0gbert on 10 Aug 2015, 9:41 pm, edited 1 time in total.

As a serial interracial dater, I say it's an aesthetic thing, but the social justice brigade should be by shortly to tell you what a horrible racist you are, it's sorta what they do.

I prefer the company of Asian woman (my wife, in particular). It has to do with cultural behavior, as well as looks. Quiet, respectful, and intelligent people have always been my preferred companions. Modest women always seemed more attractive to me in the long term than women who put their attributes on display. It seems to me that Asian women make less effort to maintain their good looks than women of other ethnicities.

Is this racist? I hope not.

That's what they are called now. Thanks.

Does being heterosexual make a person sexist?

I don't really think so....who you are physically attracted to is more a chemical kind of reaction, basically means its not something you can turn on or off at will. I myself am white and native and I tend to find norse/germanic white people attractive as well as people with native features but it hasn't been limited to that I've seen black guys I find attractive, people of probably more Irish decent, hispanic people ect. but to my knowledge you can not exactly choose what is physically attractive to you...so having a preference of thinking certain racial traits are more attractive vs. others in my opinion should not be construed as racism. I think racism is when you think your race makes you better than other people, not if you for instance typically find white women more sexually attractive than some other race that is more just personal preference.

I notice a lot of times it seems, Asian women age well....like sure they don't go to strenuous processes to try and look like a 20 year old fashion model, but most Asian women I've known do seem to keep rather good looks in older age. But I don't know if this is a consistant thing....or if maybe they just don't always eat all the crap typical americans eat which is unhealthy and can contribute to deteriorating appearance, though i know asia is not the clean food capital of the world per say.

I remember a thread discussing this a while back. One poster vehemently argued that it was, but I definitely agree with this sentiment:

Personally, I can only remember having affections for white males (and maybe one Asian, but that wasn't a full-blown crush.) It's never been a conscious decision, but I just notice that all my past crushes (and current boyfriend) have that in common.

Well, technically I am the "social justice brigade" around here, but being attracted to other races isn't inherently racist at all, it's fetishizing other races which is racist.

Like, if you're attracted to an Asian person only because they're Asian in the same way that you'd be attracted to a woman only because she has huge breasts, then yeah, that's a type of racism in the way that the latter is a type of sexism; it's pure objectification. Stereotypical "Asian schoolgirl" pornography is racist. Finding Asian women attractive without objectifying them is not, but then again, you probably shouldn't be objectifying anyone regardless of race.

IMHO: I've always thought it's not having preferences that is racist, but preferring one race over another due to inherent racism.

For example, I am a 1/4 black, 3/4 male who prefers females of the same appearance as me.

I have light tan/brown skin, dark brown hair, and dark brown eyes.

I prefer females to have light tan/brown skin, dark brown hair, and dark brown eyes.

I find 1/4 or half-black girls to be more attractive than any other ethnicity.

But, I can still be attracted to females who aren't 1/4 or 1/2 black.

And, if I meet a nice girl who I am compatible with, and she is NOT 1/4 or 1/2 black, then i will probably still give her a chance.

I'm saying if you would actually feel disgusted with yourself for ever being attracted to someone of a different race than the one you prefer, or if they are attracted to you, than it is racist.

For example if you like white people the most and a black person is attracted to you, it is certainly racist to reject them not because "Oh, sorry I prefer white skinned people" but because "EW! A dirty, disgusting black person is attracted to me? Ugh, how awful, I would never think of ever giving a dirty black a chance."

There is a major difference between these two ways of thinking.

"I just can't find Middle-eastern people good-looking" vs. "I would never date a middle-eastern person because they are stupid ugly people who are doing nothing but coming to my country to take over and are nothing but lying terrorists" are two VERY, VERY different things.

I'm sure most of us with racial preferences are the first one, 'Oh I just prefer X race/ethnicity', but there are people who are the second...

To the mods and anyone who might get offended reading this: These are examples of what I am trying to say and in no way mean to criticize people of a certain race or ethnicity. I have no intention of ever making this post racist, but am just trying to provide examples of what I think racism might be and what it might not be. I intend no harm to anyone who reads this and feels hurt.

True, sir. It's unfair on the target of said fetish, imho.

I don't think it's racist.

You like who you like, no one can force you to like someone you don't like.

It's not racist to be attracted to only people of a particular race and don't let anybody tell you it is. You can't help who you are attracted to and it's not a conscious decision and isn't any type of ism.

You wanna hear some crazy bs? A while back I said on here that if I was single I would only date a guy around my age. That is what I prefer and would feel funny dating somebody younger and at my age anybody a lot older would be pretty close to a nursing home. Well this one chick posted and started bitching that I was ageist. Yep, "ageist" because of who I would want to date if I were single. And all her examples had to do with older dudes that in had metaphorically wronged by counting them out. I don't know if thats really a thing, to call people ageist who are wanting to date people around their own age or whether it's just some kinda backlash crap she was giving me because she felt somebody passed her over because of her age. No clue. Either way, it was BS.

You aren't anything based on your preferences. Don't worry about it.

Well, not to sell you short or anything, but we kinda ran off most of the warriors for tolerance a few years back, you actually seem relatively reasonable and open to discussion, as opposed to merely spewing gender studies curriculum all in caps, so I'm not sure you're really who I was talking about. I'm one of those pedantic people who insists on painting with the narrowest brush available, so I like to clarify that when I refer to the SJW contingent, I'm not talking about liberals generally, or even all identity politics aficionados, but that very specific subset that can't get manage to order from McDonald's without mentioning privilege, micro-aggressions, and that the McNuggets are "problematic" for some reason. I think you get my drift, but I digress...



Eh, still not sure that matches up with what I'd consider racism and sexism, but then I'm well known for applying those labels very cautiously, as they're so toxic that I don't like the casualness with which they're flung about these days. To me, racism requires a belief in some innate quality across an entire race, ditto sexism with gender, where as objectification is a different thing entirely.