ASD and C-PTSD from family. Is there any hope for me?

Post Reply New Topic

I have what I think is a pretty mild (overall) case of Asperger's, and I have complex post-traumatic stress disorder caused by the family I grew up in. The one saving grace is that I don't think I had any trauma in EARLY childhood, just late childhood/adolescence, so my fundamental brain wiring should be relatively in tact. I definitely experience empathy and can love other things, mostly animals, but at the same time it's extremely difficult for me to form emotional bonds with people. Because my family members were pretty destructive, it is also very difficult for me to ever trust anyone completely. I've been burned a number of times in adulthood for trusting people even a little bit, even people who I considered good friends. I'm currently having a tough time having any motivation to be in a relationship, though the idea of having a life-partner and eventually children is still appealing to me.

Overall I'd say the AS is not that big of a deal for me other than I need a lot of alone time, something a lot of people don't understand. The C-PTSD is the major problem since I deal with a lot of problematic symptoms from it that make me unenjoyable to be with at certain times. I can be totally fine, but I can also be debilitatingly depressed and apathetic. I'm pretty apathetic about most things most of the time anyway because I've lost everything in my life I ever cared about (all immediate family members are either dead or no longer have a functional mind) and most things don't really seem to matter anymore.

I'm trying to figure out if it's even a good idea at all to pursue a relationship in my life or if I should accept that I'll be single my entire life. Anyone have any input?

As long as you don't feel like physically abusing your partner, I would seek a relationship.

Seeking a relationship RIGHT NOW probably isn't the brightest idea.

They tell me I didn't acquire the PTSD until I'd been married for 12 years. It's still made things hard (not least of all because at least part of the PTSD was a 'gift' from the in-laws). We already had a framework for how to relate to each other, and-- yeah, depression and anxiety (conflict aversion and agoraphobia) and apathy have still screwed the living crap out of pretty much everything.

See what you can work on healing before you start hunting for a relationship. Predators smell blood, and they will latch onto someone who's struggling and finish the job your family started.

When you get yourself to a place where you know what is mentally healthy FOR YOU, and maybe you can like yourself a little bit without all those voices from the past jumping all over you to tell you why, no, you are absolutely lower than s**t, THEN you have much better odds of choosing a partner that won't turn out to be worse than being alone.

go for it. it may take some time.

I developed complex ptsd after many traumatic experiences over my life, I've dated and I've also retreated, it takes a long time to map your inner landscape out between whatever conditions you have and to find where things overlap and where they separate, it also fluctuates as you probably know, you are as valuable and worthy as anybody else, you may take a lot longer to build toward a relationship due to your struggles in functioning and but you will have a lot of wisdom and perspective from your climbing up the slope of your personal mountain, a lot of folk would love to meet you and appreciate the journey you've undertaken. I don't know if it's wise to put a time limit on something like romance, if you feel ready to search then good luck, if not, in six months or six years maybe that'll change, it's always a great idea to be receptive but don't let it crush you.