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AngryAngryAngry
Velociraptor
Velociraptor

Joined: 11 Feb 2016
Age: 47
Gender: Male
Posts: 496
Location: New Zealand

20 Sep 2016, 9:27 pm

Not the boys, if you want to become a man come along and get stuck in (even if you are a young boy, you too can begin to work towards becoming a successful MAN :lol: ).

While many of these tips will be general, and some tips may infact be very difficult or out of reach for some Aspergers there is a sticky post at the top of the forums with many tips, and specific Aspergers geared tips:
viewtopic.php?t=174424

Here is the first of many.
Confidence. Fake it til you make it. But practice is the key. If you have trouble with eye contact or saying hello to strangers practice. Even small steps add up to something significant later on.
You'll be surprised, after a while, something that you found difficult can become a routine skill.
I'm sure you're good at something, and you can talk about it. Perhaps you could talk about Battlefield 1 until the Arctic finally melts. You could give an hour long Ted talk about it! Okay maybe not, but if you can talk one person's ear off for an hour, then you are confident. Even if it is a narrow topic. See you have confidence, a little, it's a start. Now you can branch out. Whatever other focuses in your life you choose, will lead to confidence in that subject/skill/trade. Women are attracted to a man that has a focus in life, he's driven, he is a success!
Check out Pewdiepie, that ridiculous dude, who squeals and makes silly videos. People might have laughed at him, no one believed in him. But he did it, he achieved success. I'm not sure what he does, but he does it well.
There are computer game players that make their living from competitive play. Who ever would have thought.
So no matter what your choice of focus, do it. Believe in yourself. That's confidence. Congratulations. Women can see it, it's all over you, they can sense it, smell it. It's intangible, but it's the same as an irresistible perfume.

Feel free to join in and discuss these tips, give feedback, and your own advice. Go on share your Pro tips :mrgreen:



Outrider
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 15 Feb 2014
Age: 26
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,007
Location: Australia

21 Sep 2016, 1:44 am

I can understand the concept of 'finding your niche' and pursuing it, learning it, expanding upon and capitalizing on it, but sometimes this is difficult to transfer over to the real world and sounds far easier on paper, especially if a person's interests are unique compared to the general population or anti-social.

This is why one must make an extra effort to ensure they can meet others who share their interests and form connections.

Ways of doing this are:

1. Seeking clubs and groups in your area, or events or groups that may be more likely to attract people with similar interests.

The problem is, not everyone lives in a big place or city where this is possible, so one must make do with what they can, either going to festivals and events and group meetups a few hours away, or even just going to places outdoors and hoping you'll come across someone who shares your enthusiasm.

2. Purposely altering your interest to make it more social, this requires some level of flexibility.

For example, my case is currently unfortunate.

I do have hobbies; they are making music or playing video games alone in a dark room.

Before you say I need to get outdoor hobbies, I do have them. They are riding bike or walking around the neighborhood with my brother or alone, in which it appears no young girls or women aged 15-25 ever do, and it's only typically families or elderly who take afternoon walks away from the stupid technology ever once in a while, and even then ironically plenty of young men and women who go for relaxing walks out in nature are stuck to their cell phones with earphones on looking pi55ed off and disinterested in being spoken to anyway.

I also like to, when at the beach with family, go off on my own to explore and climb trees as fast as possible in secluded spots that no one ever actually goes into, aside from maybe young children.

I lift weights to workout at home, and it appears in recent times in the millenial generation, the gym has become a more anti-social place where people just want to get their stuff done and leave.

At best all I can do is look for local running, cycling and hiking groups in the area. This is me making do with what I can.

I am not a skilled enough musician for live performance, most other musicians I meet don't make electronic music like I do but indie rock or pop rock, and even the other people who make electronic music make the mainstream garbage I can't stand. It is difficult enough to meet any male electronic producers at all, let alone female. They are extremely rare.

I am too much of a casual gamer to ever get along with or relate to other gamers - I don't even play online.

So, I'll have to make do with what I can.



AngryAngryAngry
Velociraptor
Velociraptor

Joined: 11 Feb 2016
Age: 47
Gender: Male
Posts: 496
Location: New Zealand

22 Sep 2016, 8:28 pm

That's great. If you had only one, such as hiking. Then that is a big start.

You might be able to transfer the tree climbing to wall climbing. There are speed runs at indoor climbing centres.

Also perhaps sharing your music interests online would lead to online acquaintances and even perhaps meeting up to attend a concert at some future point. Friendships are a long haul thing, unfortunately.



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