i recently got out of a relationship with a guy who has aspergers. He is 22 i'm 24. He was diagnosed as a kid and grew up with extreme difficulty getting along with his peers and interpreting nonverbal social cues. He told me in high school he would hangout with kids who were half his age and fixated a lot on numbers. It wasn't until he turned 18 that he began making friends with kids his age and his fellow guy peer saw him as a cool when he got his first gf. We met at a house party, i never would have suspected he had aspergers. Until he told me when we got together and chilled. He told me he watched hours of youtube videos all day during high school to learn how to be human. He has insecurities of not being human. He's had three short term girlfriends he told me that they took advantage of him by using him, playing mind games, cheating on him then dumping him. So he hasn't had a good experience with women. We ended up developing feelings for each other the more we got to know one another as friends we were friends for like 6 months before dating. He's two years younger than I am. I didn't really think what it would be like to date a guy with aspergers the challenges that I would face and he would face. He constantly was insecure that i saw him as a naive insecure kid, damaged young he was afraid that i didn't see him as being masculine anymore since he confided in me that he has aspergers. Sometimes we would have awkward silences and he would think its because i viewed him as being less than a man and a naive kid. He said he had issues with his fellow peers not thinking he has tough enough as a guy, he has been called soft plenty of times by his peers. i helped him realize that he has insecurity issues, he came to realize that he was "broken". I suggested that he seek counselling like CBT and he agreed but lacked the motivation to do so. Sometimes he would push me away by trying to compare me to his exes constantly. He was unsure if i was playing mind games with him like his exes often did. one night we got into a huge fight, at his place. he didnt think that i trusted him like he trusted me. i didnt want to sleepover at his place because i had things to do in the morning and he was paranoid that i didn't have feelings for him anymore and didn't trust him. so when i left home he sent me a text saying he wasn't sure at that moment if he saw us dating anymore, i was shocked. i blew up on him, and he blamed me saying that he didn't mean to say he didn't have feelings for me anymore just that at this moment he doesn't see us dating. He then said that he is tired of me misinterpreting his words I tried to get him to see things from my side but he refused and kept bringing up his ex girlfriends and how they played mind games. he then said we were ruined that, I;m a bad person to date. He told me that he is not dateable that most girls find him too different to date. I tried to make things better but he ignored my messages. I know his friends too they are guys who don't have aspergers regular guys who are kind of anti-relationship guys. i think maybe they might have influenced him as well to remain single. it;s been months since we last spoke but i have a feeling he sometimes lurks me on social media. Ive sent him messages on whatsapp telling him how i felt about the situation and that i did really like him and wanted to know he wasn't alone in the issues that he faced and that i supported him. Sometimes when i'm online on whatsapp i notice he will stay online as long as i do. he rarely used whatsapp when we were together but lately he has been using it more. i saw him recently at the mall, i said hi and he said hi back, i asked him how he was and he said good. it was a brief conversation.. the whole time he was looking at me in my eyes. i asked him for a hug he was hesitant but he gave me a hug. i was wondering is it possible that he misses me? he told me before that he's an emotional guy deep down just he's been ashamed to show it. it took him a month to get over his last ex gf. i wanted to at least remain friends.
01 Sep 2016, 6:54 pm
