Parents won't quit bugging me about dating/getting married?

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Over the past year or so, I've noticed that my dad's been making a lot of comments about me finding "the right woman", dating her, getting married, having kids, etc. Sometimes they're serious inquiries ("So, you like any of your female coworkers?"), other times he's joking ("Hey, your brother's already given me seven grandkids. When are you gonna start catching up?"). I know he isn't trying to hurt me, but lately I've been finding those comments to be really depressing. Like, yeah Dad, just keep pointing out how I've never had a girlfriend, okay? It's not like I don't want one, and I haven't tried to get one, or anything like that. And I've explained to him several times that I seriously doubt that will ever change. I don't fit in around here. I like writing books and playing video games, and everyone else likes hunting, fishing, rolling in the mud, and watching FEEWWWTBAAALLLLL!!1! Plus, I'm pretty screwed up in the head, so no self-respecting woman will put up with me beyond a first date. And yet, all Dad ever says is, "Bet you're wrong!" or "Almost everyone gets married, Adam." Geez... Dad, I know you're trying to encourage me, but all you're doing so showing how little you actually know me.

Anyway, yeah, it depresses me. A lot. I've never been good at letting comments roll off my back, as people say. Anyone know how to, you know, NOT be depressed by people constantly pointing out how single you are? Or a (polite, non-family-tearing-apart) way to make them stop?

I'm going to be honest:

there's no way your dad is going to stop.

He thinks you're a good guy, and capable of finding a nice girl., it's probably a hope of his.

I understand the irritation....trust me.

He will never understand you fully, just like my dad.

But at least he's not discouraging you.

When your dad brings up dating, if I were you, I'd say something along the lines of "Look Dad, I've been trying to find a partner, but nothing I'm doing is working. What am I supposed to do?"

This way, you turn it around on him. You tell him that you quite frankly don't know how to find someone, and if you keep responding to him this way, and he doesn't know how to help you, he'll probably realise that constantly bringing it up isn't going to help anything.

lol, rings bells! My mother never stopped asking me the same questions 'when will you get married?', 'When am i going to be a grandparent?' etc etc, it was only when i was 39 she stopped! lol... Also an early heads up, it doesnt matter how old you get, your parents will still likely look and talk to you as if your still 12! lol

My family does this to me once in a while. I think it actually makes me feel a little better because they know that I'm different, but they still think that I'm capable of being in a relationship. I think that's much better than them feeling sorry for me.

You will be freed from the problem if you create a fake temporary girlfriend until you meet the right girl. This temporary could turn out to be for years tho lol. (damn.. this is my story.) It's a mean way but chronic stress damages your brain functions so in the long run it will be worth lying for your parents' sake as well as your mental health (since any parents would be hurt if they realized that their bugging actually never helped but even harmed to son's entering a relationship.) But if you live with your parents, they would know you're lying..so in that circumstances you may simply reduce your encounters with family members by staying out of the house as many hours as possible.

My mother hasn't started nagging me yet, but she has this bizarre notion that I will easily find a girlfriend - that lots of women would want a guy like me. Pfffft, if only.

People really need to stop making soo many babies. It is really getting out of control.

Tell him to give you some good options, or get his narcisisstic supply from somewhere else. Maybe adopt a toy or something. Sounds like your bro has plenty too many for both of you, and a few other people. I mean really. Can't you just rent one of his kids? As far as the girl goes, I have ZERO advice.

I wish I had that problem. My parents seem to have always taken for granted that it's an absolutely ridiculous idea that I could date or have a girlfriend, so it's perfectly normal and to be expected that I don't and never will.

I applaud your patience with your dad thus far. Since you have tried being honest and straight forward without success, it's likely that no matter what you say or do you probably can't change your dad. The only person you have control over is you. Change the way you react...perhaps say nothing, stare at your dad sadly and silently waiting for him to realize his mistake and move on.

Some parents do it. We just have to deal with it. It can't be helped.
When my parents tell me I should find a husband so someone inherits our home, makes me "a woman", gives them a grandchild etc. I just roll eyes and they shut up. Let them say what they want, it got nothing to do with me. I also might want to have a guy (or a girl, doesn't matter) but its not going to happen anytime soon so I am patient and they should be patient too. I will get one when and if one stands on my way but I don't care that much. Not like I am going out of myself to fulfill their wishes.

My grandparents from dads side are way worse - they ask me when I am getting married every time they see me because recently there were 2 marriages of cousins my age(me 27, them 29 and 26) and I am a distant aunt of their 2 kids now. But again - I just roll eyes and let them speak. Not like I am doing anything wrong by not having a boyfriend yet.

My grandma from mom side on the other hand encourages me(grandpa says nothing).
She says I am doing the right thing not having a husband yet because she herself is regretting that she got influenced by grandpa and her parents and got married to him and gave him kids because she wanted to study and become a scientist but instead she had to take care of husband and kids. She has a strong opinion that the expectation that everyone must get married is old fashioned and not every woman must become a mother. The only one in this family side who asks me why I don't have a boyfriend is my 17 year old cousin. But he is a social NT with a girlfriend he is head over heels with and they "lick" each other in front of everyone so I don't care what he thinks. When I see how he stupidly behaves because of his love I am not sure if I ever want to fall in love.

If I were you I would just tell your father that he already has 7 grandchildren so you don't have to give you another one - the family genes got passed to another generation already so the duty isn't on you. And that you will get married if you met the right girl and feel like it.

It's my dad's favorite topic.

My parents don't even bother at this point, sometimes the idea of me finding someone and having a family is alluded to but that's usually more to make me feel better and that "everything is going to be alright".

@ thisadamguy - how about showing that message to your father? I wonder if he knows that he's hurting you. Make a small, quiet occasion of it, you and dad alone somewhere, low-key. Give him the post and ask him to read it. (Cut off your avatar, maybe). I bet he doesn't know he's hurting you.

No matter how that turns out, in future your only response will be "Ouch!" and leave the room if that's within the realm of sensibility - not to make melodrama out of it.

On the other hand, maybe you could bring home some guy and call him Sweetie.

My mother nagged me quite a bit in my 20s and even bought some baby related things to store away (she claims it was for if my cousins had children) and she stopped shortly after she saw who I ended up with (crazy ex-girlfriend). She then proceeded to nag me for a year to go back to being single and gave away the baby stuff. Fast forward two years later and I am now married with a baby on the way. She never even got a chance to bug me about kids

Let your father it took until I was 32 when I found love, my wife was 38 and we are both almost certainly on the spectrum (me more than her).