Will I have to become like my older brother?

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If I want to have a girlfriend, will I have to become like my older brother? I hate him but it feels like women only want to be with someone like him despite how he is the complete opposite of everything I was told to be if I wanted a relationship. He is completely sexist, homophobic, racist, insecure about what others think of him, ready to lash out in anger over the most trivial things, and is utterly selfish but he's always had girls looking his way as well as them running up and telling me "Mark, your brother is so hot!" while I was pushed to the wayside. Sure, he's had many break ups, a divorce, two cancelled marriages, and has a mountain of child support to pay for but he's always had the freedom of choice while having a girlfriend feels like only a dream to me.

That seems an odd sort of 'freedom', to be a strutting id, and I don't think it would bring you satisfaction. From the sound of it, I'm not sure if it brings you brother much. If you could be like your brother, you would be.

I think by far the best thing you can do is forget about getting A Girlfriend and get the f**k out of there. Throw everything into that. Find somewhere that suits you better, where you're more likely to find the sort of people you want to mix with and be in a relationship with, and go there. work on yourself, on whatever you consider 'self-improvement'.

No don't be more like him, sounds like a terrible idea. Also it would seem while maybe he can initially get a girls attention and form a relationship from the sound of it he certainly doesn't know how to keep a relationship. I suspect perhaps he tries to act more sweet and kind around women he is interested in...then eventually they come to see his true colors and leave.

It might be harder for you to initially find a girlfriend, but if you try and become like your brother and just be a nasty jerk that will likely insure even if you do find a girlfriend she wouldn't stick around for long.

Does your brother make enough to pay for all that child support and be able to entertain new hotties?

He's stuck with the mother of three of his children (He has four total) despite having a cancelled marriage with her (Extremely long story there) but if they split up permanently, he would be able to find another relationship.

If I were to be like him, I would be a redneck who thinks Hinduism is the same as "Muzlum", you aren't an "Amurikan" if you aren't white or Christian, and country music is God's gift to man. Unfortunately, people with that outlook make up a huge chunk of the Bible Belt.



He would treat his girlfriends like sexual objects and when they got tired of it, he would blow his stack at them because they weren't giving him "pewsy" anymore. He usually refers to women as "b*****s" and thinks ones who stand up for themselves are "stuck up". He feels entitled to sex and the girls better give it to him or he'll become a monster.

What makes my blood boil so much about the Bible Belt is that the girls here seem to only like men who are like my brother. I always see them with loud, aggressive, and anti-intellectual men who call them "dumb c***s" behind their backs. Despite how I was told to be myself, I would get called "weird" for being myself.



Not at all. Our mother actually pays a good chunk of it for him and he's either quit or gotten fired from his jobs for being a raging alcoholic a**hole.

One thing that is attractive generally is confidence. I think that's a big reason why people like your brother get dates. But clearly he can't keep a woman's interest for that long or he wouldn't have all those breakups and divorces.

A lot of the girls he went for were also the bubbleheaded "I'm too pretty to know math" types. They may look attractive but they act stupid because they think that's the only way to attract a guy, probably due to Bible Belt gender roles. However, they would get sick of being treated like a piece of meat and realize what a drugged out, alcoholic, and aggressive monster he really was.

Unfortunately, people are largely defined by society and peer pressure due to the predefined roles in many places.

Many men can lose the idea of what true masculinity is and as a result, they believe that this type of toxic masculinity is good because they have never been taught any differently.

If you want to live in chains because you believe you must adapt to a predefined role, go ahead.

In this case, the women could struggle with addictive personalities regarding drugs, alcohol or sex as well. It is a sad state to see but many of them could be raised in a dysfunctional home and as a result, they do not understand what true confidence or masculinity is because they have been subjected to abuse.

Unfortunately, addicts can place their next fix before the priorities of their family in certain cases.

I think you answered your own question. Do you want to be with a woman like that?

People usually hate me for telling them this, but in my youth I have also been trapped in horrible conditions and there's only one way out: study or work hard, sacrifice what comfort and security you have if necessary in order to become independent and get the hell out of that place. Even if you might feel cheated out of the fun and carelessness normally associated with youth, you'll at least have a real chance to a decent life in a better place later on.

Some guys would say "But you'll get p**** all the time!" but that's just their sexism talking. Sure, I desire sex as much as the next guy but I also see women as human beings as well and that is considered "weird" in the culture I am stuck in. It's odd how I was told to be a gentleman growing up but what these guys are doing doesn't look gentlemanly at all. It makes my head spin like crazy. My brother would think I was going about things wrong by wanting to have things in common with my purposed partner and he would shoot down my views on being an individual by saying following the herd got him "pewsy". I wish I could prove him wrong.

You've got to get your brother out of your head, and you've got to get yourself out of wherever you are.

Enough reason not to be like him.

The way he would harm me both physically and mentally early on has certainly done a lot of damage to me. I wish I could delete a lot of the things he said to me. The only thought I would keep of him is that he's a messed up and potentially dangerous individual.

And women are said to find men who rely on their mothers incompatible for relationships. I am not jealous of his 'baby mama', though. She laughs like a wheezing hillbilly, is addicted to Facebook, has an annoying voice, loves country music, and can't stop popping out kids.

My brother used to say he "f****d b*****s" before he got stuck with his 'baby mama'. Why is it that so many women find men who think like that attractive?