I can't be careful - disclosing AS etc.

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smudge
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12 Sep 2016, 5:53 pm

I blurt things out to people. It is ingrained in me.

How do those who hold back...manage? How do you do it?

I just want to open up and be myself...immediately.


I'm thinking I'm done with the BS small talk...LET'S GO DEEP INTO CONVERSATION. And skip simple likes and dislikes and all that jazz.

Why bother otherwise? Aren't some mentally ill people fun? Or at least interesting?

What's with all the needing to be normal? Why do so many people insist on it?

I've always been drawn to *interesting* people who are off key. People who speak their minds too. Why is it so freaking scary to people? Where do I find other nutjobs like me? Where are they?!?? Bearing in mind I don't want anyone manipulative or violent.

In case anyone is wondering...I just told someone I was autistic on a dating site and they stopped talking to me.

None of us should have to tiptoe around people, or should we?

I want constructive criticism, not sympathy.


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kraftiekortie
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12 Sep 2016, 5:56 pm

You shouldn't disclose your autism until you've gotten close enough to a person to be thinking about having a committed relationship.



QuillAlba
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12 Sep 2016, 6:04 pm

I'm the same Smudge, small talk kills me and I tend to just blurt too much information, or talk about things that are not meant for polite conversation.

Some folks find me very amusing, some don't, but they are wombles.

I can't really force myself to be that small talk person, so I'm sticking with blurting, interesting me.

just need, as you say, to have some way of detecting the fellow weirdos and headcases, the good mental one's, not the violent nutty ones, they suck.

Boring people are taking over the world.



smudge
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12 Sep 2016, 6:31 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
You shouldn't disclose your autism until you've gotten close enough to a person to be thinking about having a committed relationship.


Boooooring.

QuillAlba wrote:
I'm the same Smudge, small talk kills me and I tend to just blurt too much information, or talk about things that are not meant for polite conversation.

Some folks find me very amusing, some don't, but they are wombles.

I can't really force myself to be that small talk person, so I'm sticking with blurting, interesting me.

just need, as you say, to have some way of detecting the fellow weirdos and headcases, the good mental one's, not the violent nutty ones, they suck.

Boring people are taking over the world.


I know, right??

I did have an old profile on this dating site, and I was blunt and honest. I drew two men who I'm still friends with, who I can talk about *anything* with. They both like sleeping around, though. :| And yeh...they found me amusing too.

I'ma just go on a full rampage rant on there blasting through all the bloody vanilla BS and see how many responses I get. :D

What ever happened to the angel emoticon on here? I'm sure there are some missing, or maybe it's just me.


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Last edited by smudge on 12 Sep 2016, 6:36 pm, edited 1 time in total.

racheypie666
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12 Sep 2016, 6:33 pm

Haha, I'm a person with mental issues too but I tend more in the other direction; I close things off and don't share even when I probably should! I can't imagine being very vibrant in announcing my autism and craziness to people, it must feel quite liberating at times. Really though I'm with Kraftiekortie on this one, it is usually better to keep your various diagnoses to yourself until you build up a trusting enough relationship to share with someone. That way when you do tell them, there is less likelihood they will close off to you, because you have already formed a bond and demonstrated that your AS will not prevent you from building a relationship with that person.

This is largely theoretical though :wink: , I've only got a handful of people that know I'm HFA, even fewer/none who know the full deal with me.



smudge
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12 Sep 2016, 6:44 pm

I'm all or nothing with someone I like. I'm dead silent and can't talk, or I get excessively talkative and everything just blurts out. All with the same person.

...Hmm. :?

Surely the people who are that easily scared, would be harder to keep? I think that's my main question actually - anyone here have real experience of this? What are your thoughts, and, is there anything you regret, or are pleased with...in delaying telling someone that you're autistic? I just need to get my head around how you can't possibly feel that you're suppressing who you are.


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kraftiekortie
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12 Sep 2016, 6:47 pm

People tend to think of autistic people as being "ret*d" in some sense

I've disclosed in certain situations. What I got back is people treating me in a condescending matter---like I'm a child, or like I'm somebody who might go crazy on them.



smudge
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12 Sep 2016, 7:08 pm

Right, so it's basically like telling someone you have schizophrenia, or something along those lines. If that's the case, then I sort of understand where they're coming from.

..At the same time, I'm feeling, "Ouch", I'm being compared to a schizophrenic. And then I'm thinking, now *I'm* being judgemental, and God it must be hard for schizophrenics. :(

^ I'm thinking out loud, here. You all think that way too...sometimes.

I'm mad enough like Rainman though, when my whole world is turned upside down. So I'm...

People really think that of a diagnosis of ASD? That we're unstable and crazy, and to be feared? We're that scary to people?


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kraftiekortie
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12 Sep 2016, 7:12 pm

I wouldn't say people think we're "scary," per se. People tend to think of us as being "weird" and hard to relate to.

They, especially, believe, we are immature for our ages, and socially backward. Hence, there is the tendency towards treating us like children.



smudge
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12 Sep 2016, 7:19 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
People tend to think of autistic people as being "ret*d" in some sense

I've disclosed in certain situations. What I got back is people treating me in a condescending matter---like I'm a child, or like I'm somebody who might go crazy on them.


Don't hold back. This suggests that people did think you might go crazy on them.


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kraftiekortie
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12 Sep 2016, 7:45 pm

LOL....once people get to know me (without me disclosing my autism), they realize that I'm a "court-jester" sort of weird. Non-threatening.

I'm the "Wolfman" at work.



smudge
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12 Sep 2016, 8:30 pm

You're not answering my question...

Sigh. I will not be offended if you honestly believe that others see autistics as crazy. Really.


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Grammar Geek
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12 Sep 2016, 8:31 pm

I think there are a lot of misconceptions about us, and paired with a lot of school shooters being autistic, we can be feared by the ignorant.



kraftiekortie
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12 Sep 2016, 8:32 pm

I don't believe people see autistic people as being "crazy"--honestly.

Occasionally, you might find somebody, based upon recent killings, who might think that Aspergians go crazy because they spend too much time on the computer.

Oftentimes, people don't associate Asperger's Syndrome with autism.



Bridgette77
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12 Sep 2016, 8:46 pm

Before we started dating, and even Before my Mother knew I had feelings for him, this was before she got to really know him, she blurted out that she thought he was really weird. I got angry at that, and told her she shouldn't judge someone on something she didn't know about. That was when it finally dawned on her that I liked him, and I had to sit her down and explain things to her. Now that she knows him better, she thinks he's the greatest thing since sliced bread. We get some of the same treatment also. I had many run, after finding out I was blind, so I kind of get it. If people can't look past other people's differences, they are the ones that have the problem. I have learned to also wait though, before telling them, so maybe that is a good idea. Let them see who you are first. If they still run after that, then the heck with them. LOL.



kraftiekortie
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12 Sep 2016, 8:48 pm

I honestly think you're a fine girl for this man, Bridgette.