Why would he like me?

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I'm going to break up with a boy, but in order to make it as 'nice' as possible, I am trying to understand how he might feel about it. I do not have much natural empathy but I do have learned empathy, so if anybody can help me with his point of view I would very much appreciate it.

I tried to think about how I would feel if he broke up with me, but I wouldn't mind. I do not feel any strong connection to him, but I know he feels differently about me; I do not understand why/how he might feel about me. We have many things in common (shared interests in music, culture etc.) that we have discussed. I have been very polite and engaged in conversations but didn't really lead any or suggest topics of conversation. He thinks I am physically attractive and 'interesting' (this is a code for ND I think). I trusted him enough to tell him about my autism; possibly this trust makes him like me more or feel protective towards me? He knows I do not do social things as a rule, and said that me making him the exception shows I care just as much about him as he does about me. I think this is inaccurate. In our text conversations he flirts a lot and I don't really flirt back. We've been out for drinks twice, and I haven't kissed him or offered any physical contact. He sent me a picture of himself and asked for one back. I ignored him.

I think I have been quite detached compared to standard relationships. He is a nice person but I don't want it to work. How do you feel about a person when you like them romantically? Why would he be interested in a detached ND character such as myself? I think this might be the most autistic thing I have ever written but I genuinely have no idea what it must feel like to want a person romantically.

I saw a pic of you and you are pretty, so maybe that is what he likes. When you don't know a person that well yet you judge them by looks or maybe how friendly they seem.

You ask How do you feel, when you like a person romantically? Well, I can give you some examples. To steal Krafties example, since he hasn't chimed in yet, you feel that tingling in your nether regions, you get nervous around that person, you may want to be around them more, They will make you smile a lot, You'll want to be close to them, and you'll do anything to please them sometimes. Now I will say, some men will go after hard to get women, for the thrill of the chase. I'm not saying that this is the case, but maybe he sees you as a woman who is a tough shell to crack, or a project of sorts, like someday, he will change your mind or way of thinking. I just find it odd, that if you've given him every indecation that you're not interested, that he is still obliviously hanging on you. These are just my thoughts.

Asking strangers to speculate about why somebody likes you is not really going to achieve anything. We have no idea why he likes you. If you want to know that, you will need to ask him.

You don't have to break up with him nicely, just break up with him. The nicest way to break up with someone is unambiguously.

I'm not saying you can't explain the reasons. You can if you want. Just so long as you do it after you've made it very clear you're breaking up with him.

If you can't think of any reasons than you're not really obligated to give him any, although when I get dumped I ask the girl to make a list of things I did wrong so I'll know what not to do in my next relationship.

If you never had a proper relationship with him to begin with than you're even less obligated to give him reasons. If you weren't in an actual relationship with him then you're not really breaking up with him, you're turning him down (which should also be done unambiguously).

Do you want to be his friend? Some guys would accept the alternative, while still being sad that he can't be in a romance with you.

I think you should tell him the truth....that you have never experienced romantic feelings. He might not believe you--but stick to your guns.

Tell him that you don't want to be "fixed" by anybody. That you want to "fix" yourself.

Listen to what he has to say, too. But continue to insist that you feel no romance towards him.

Above all, you have to be blunt with the person, making sure that he knows that you regard him highly as a friend (if you do regard him as a friend).

If he doesn't take it well, it's not your responsibility, provided that you were honest, and didn't belittle him in any way. If he starts talking about killing himself or something, just tell him you won't accept this sort of talk, and that you'll break contact immediately should he continue this line of talk.

It's a very hard deal for people to break up with somebody. But, in this case, it has to be done; otherwise, worse heartache, on the part of both of you, will result.

I have to say, I'm curious. How is it that you progressed this far with this guy, when you're not interested in him, or even in dating in general? Were you just trying it out to see what it was like?

In answer to your question (assuming you haven't already taken care of the situation), your best bet is going to be telling him straight up that you're not interested. I wouldn't advise saying something along the lines of "I'm not interested in dating anyone right now", because this guy will probably hinge on a remark like that and hold hope that if you ever become interested in dating, he'll be your first point of call.

As Retrogamer said, you don't owe him an explanation, but providing one might help stop questions like "What did I do wrong?" or "What's wrong with me?" from recurring in his mind.

I think this is an opportunity to teach him about human variation. Put it in an objective way, and don't say anything how the "absurdity of being romantic."

I, myself, can never think of a time when I didn't have "romantic feelings." I, myself, cannot understand, emotionally, the state of being "asexual."

But if somebody states that they just don't feel romantic, then I'd have to try to put myself in their shoes. Throughout history, people who didn't feel romance have existed.

In a way, being non-romantic prevents many problems.

Yes, kraftiekortie is a very wise man indeed! I would just be very blunt and honest with this guy, and tell him straight up how it is, since you being distant and nonromantic hasn't given him the hint. I can understand why it hasn't, since there are some on the spectrum who have some issues with kissing and closeness, and it takes time for them to go that rout with someone. I know, my own boyfriend was that way.and perhaps he thinks you fall into this category also. So, I would just tell him very bluntly, that you are just not into dating at all, period.

I find it great that you are able to appreciate that passage you just mentioned. And that you have taken it into your heart.

George Bernard Shaw, one of the greatest playwrights of all time, and the creator of "Pygmalion" (which became "My Fair Lady") was said to be very much asexual.

It's definitely about a situation where romance and kissing "takes away one's innocence." F. Scott Fitzgerald fell under the spell of his wife, Zelda.

To tell you the truth: before I had a crush on my English teacher in 8th grade, at age 13, I had absolutely NO interest in literature.

8th Grade is approximately equivalent to about Form 2 in the UK's educational system, I believe.