I think I've got the wrong idea

Post Reply New Topic

Okay so when I was eighteen I made an online dating profile and got so many messages I couldn't keep up. It was actually uncomfortable on how many messages I would get. An even after I rejected someone they'd still come back. I deleted it because I found someone. I'm twenty three now and I've tried at several attempts to make profiles on dating sites since I'm single currently. I can get like only one or three messages a week now. It's extremely discouraging because I feel like I'm doing something wrong.

I would like to note because of this I usually delete my profiles now within a week if I don't get at least 6 messages within the week because when I was eighteen I'd get at likes 10 to 20. Either with new people coming or replies.
I've decided if I do make another dating profile I'm going to leave it up for a month because I'm sure it doesn't help that I delete so fast because of my discouragement and I have anxiety attacks about people thinking I'm weird.

People also used to answer me when I messaged them but now they don't. An I make sure so I don't look like a weirdo I give it a couple of months before I come back because I know if I just came back within another week and made a new profile that would look weird.

I try and keep my profiles brief but informative and I put pictures up of myself.

What am I doing wrong besides the deleting the profile thing so early? Oh it's also been at least six or five months since I made an online dating profile on the site that I use. So if I make another one are people going to remember me and think I'm some sort of creeper?

Sorry this is so long thank you to anyone who can help me.

It's probably better if you kept the same profile for a while.

Maybe just add a few things.

Okay if I make a new one I'll defiantly keep it up for a month thank you.

Could I see your profile?

Wonder if we're near each other or compatible. Very least maybe I could give you some insight

If you're really pretty that will make some guys precieve you as too good for them same with saying certain things in your profile.

I've been in dating sites for 10+ years since I was 16ish with no luck. I get a message every 6-12 months if lucky

Which website are you using? Free dating websites can be shallow places where young girls are the highest commodity and as a result, they are likely to receive more messages.

You have to remember that many people are on there for casual dating and sex, that's why I recommend using other means of finding a relationship before using a dating website.

How do I tag Boo here? He'll probably see it by himself anyway.

Why do you consider it a failure to receive less than 6 messages a week? I actually think it is not positive to get so many, as it'd be very dispersive. Anyway if you keep making new profiles and deleting old ones people will notice it because you will have the same pics and they'd think that you are weird or something, perhaps.

@ Sly
Oh I deleted my last one at least five or six months ago. I was asking this stuff in case I try again. I could give you a general idea of what I put in them though and maybe send some pictures privately. I'm really self conscious about the way I look so I only put up pictures when I have to like on dating profiles.

@ Synth
Okcupid. Where would you suggest I go if I do try again? I know okcupid has a lot of alternative (gothish, horror movie lovers) types so that's why I like it.

@ Peacesells

I was told that your supposed to get a lot messages constantly and if you don't your doing it wrong. An I did get a lot at one point but when I turned 23 and came back it was so different. So I'm just really confused.

I used OkCupid to actively date in my twenties and I was successful in casual dating and sex but I never found a long term relationship from it. I remember that I had to be proactive and I researched examples of profiles.

I advise searching examples of dating profiles on Google, you can find many examples online.

I haven't tried any of the paid sites since I am in a long term relationship now but I have heard that match.com is a good website.

Okay. I'll try that thank you very much.

But isn't what I said true, that it could be counterproductive? For example if 20 guys write to you every week.
How many did you usually get every week?

It can't deny that it is true that to many people can be too much. It was usually about three guys who would talk to me and they were all much older then me which made me feel uncomfortable. I think I had only one guy who messaged me around my age but he was only into a sexual relationship which is not what I want.

Oh I'm sorry, it is odd. I am not sure why it was like that. Did you put pictures, right? And apart from growing up, did you change area?

I didn't change my area and yes I did put pictures up.

I understand. I'm similar. Pm would be fine. I'd like to see pictures if your comfortable and read the ideas of what you normally put up.

Also I quite like OkCupid and pof. They are the best if not only free dating sites. otherwise eharmony is suppose to be good if one can afford their super high prices.

Out womennon OkCupid and pof aren't looking for sex or causal relationships (still not sure what that is) I imagine quote a lot of men are the same. Sure ther s a rather active(message wise) minority of men and women who just want sex, but can't let them ruin it for you. Lots of shy nice guys on there too.

Hmm, I am not sure then. Are there a good number of nearby guys around your age in that site?

With okcupid the more of the little questions you answer the mpre matches you get. Also I think it's just that you aren't leaving it up for long enough to find you or you to find them.

Rejection is a part of life and sometimes people won't message you back or respond. I was on dating sites for 2 years before I met my now fiance so I know the feeling.

Also if you decide to try again I could help you with your profile