Page 1 of 2 [ 22 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2  Next

Rhapsody
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

User avatar

Joined: 3 Sep 2009
Gender: Female
Posts: 367

08 Sep 2016, 9:12 pm

My brother and I were hanging out, he's also on the spectrum, and suddenly this girl goes up to him and hands him her phone number written on a little slip of paper. At first I figured he knew her from class or whatever, because he engaged in some polite conversation, but apparently he'd never met her before. It was totally unsolicited and as soon as she's out of earshot my brother turns to me and goes, “That's so creepy!

I was completely baffled. He's had more years of social training than I have, but I'm a better chameleon because I'm female, so of course I asked him how that was creepy when she could have simply demanded his phone number like they do on TV. Because at least the way she did it gave him the option to chuck the number and never call her. Which is what he did. He just said it was and left it at that because he couldn't explain it. It just was.

What do you guys think? Am I missing something? It really just seemed like an outdated reenactment of “Call Me Maybe” to me. The girl didn't seem very threatening. She was half his size max.



kraftiekortie
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 4 Feb 2014
Gender: Male
Posts: 87,510
Location: Queens, NYC

08 Sep 2016, 9:30 pm

To be honest, I wouldn't mind it if some girl gave me her number out of the blue!

One time, when I was 26, I was on a subway train, and I wrote poems to some girls on that train. It was sort of an attempt to obtain a date. I didn't succeed in obtaining the date, but I charmed a few women!



sly279
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 11 Dec 2013
Age: 37
Gender: Male
Posts: 16,181
Location: US

09 Sep 2016, 1:13 am

Wish a girls give me her number :/



Synth.osx
Raven
Raven

User avatar

Joined: 18 Aug 2016
Gender: Male
Posts: 107

09 Sep 2016, 2:40 am

In this case, she handed him the phone number because she may have been experiencing social anxiety or feared the rejection of asking for a phone number.

I wouldn't define any irregular behaviour with a label as it is shaming her as a person, rather than feeling empathy in regards to why she handed her phone number to him.



Aspie1
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 7 Mar 2005
Gender: Male
Posts: 6,749
Location: United States

09 Sep 2016, 9:22 am

It's "creepy" (notice the quotes) of that girl to randomly hand the OP her phone number because it's just not how it's done in the NT society. Especially in today's world, where 80% of men are seen and treated as the worst enemy of women. So a woman would simply have no incentive to just hand a stranger her phone number. The one time a woman offered me her phone number was after we spent about 45 minutes talking, dancing, and having drinks together; it was on New Year's Eve some years ago. Usually, if a woman does what the OP described, it's a prank where he will call her and she will ask him personal questions while her friends listen in and laugh. I once almost fell for it, but instantly caught on and hung up.

Oh, and the use of the word "creepy" here is different from what aspie men are used to. When NT women say it, it's synonymous with "Nice Guy(TM)" or "ugly". In the OP's case, it's synonymous with "bizarre" or "disconcerting".



kraftiekortie
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 4 Feb 2014
Gender: Male
Posts: 87,510
Location: Queens, NYC

09 Sep 2016, 9:43 am

I've had girls give me "wrong" numbers. I'd just throw the paper in the garbage.



Hopper
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 22 Aug 2012
Age: 45
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,920
Location: The outskirts

09 Sep 2016, 10:20 am

That's interesting.

I'd be weirded out if someone did that, but I tend to get weirded out by most social interactions anyway, unless I can tell that the person is just lonely and/or talkative. I think I'd only call it 'creepy' if I was particularly suspicious of their intentions (it was mockery, or for a bet). In that sense, the 'threat' is more in terms of social humiliation than physical violence.

Mind, this isn't just related to women and romance. I once had a young man hand me an all-day bus ticket as I was waiting for a bus, saying he had no more use for it. I quadruple checked it, to make sure he wasn't taking the piss. Turns out he was just nice, and saved me over £4 in busfare.


_________________
Of course, it's probably quite a bit more complicated than that.

You know sometimes, between the dames and the horses, I don't even know why I put my hat on.


kraftiekortie
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 4 Feb 2014
Gender: Male
Posts: 87,510
Location: Queens, NYC

09 Sep 2016, 10:27 am

^^ I've done the same thing. Fortunately, the person wasn't skeptical in the least.



racheypie666
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 25 Aug 2016
Age: 31
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,509
Location: UK

09 Sep 2016, 10:46 am

I think its don't think it's 'creepy', but it is unusual. Maybe that's what your brother meant?

I think it's weirder that she would hand your brother a number while you were also there; unless you have a large age gap or a strong family resemblance then I'm surprised she wouldn't assume you were potentially his girlfriend, which would make handing over her number very inappropriate indeed! My brother is 4 years my junior, and we don't look much alike, so people quite often think we're a couple (ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww) when they see us together.



Hopper
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 22 Aug 2012
Age: 45
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,920
Location: The outskirts

09 Sep 2016, 10:55 am

kraftiekortie wrote:
^^ I've done the same thing. Fortunately, the person wasn't skeptical in the least.


In the style of a Hollywood ending, I now try and pay it forward and not let a dayticket go to waste. :)


_________________
Of course, it's probably quite a bit more complicated than that.

You know sometimes, between the dames and the horses, I don't even know why I put my hat on.


Jacoby
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 10 Dec 2007
Age: 34
Gender: Male
Posts: 14,284
Location: Permanently banned by power tripping mods lol this forum is trash

09 Sep 2016, 11:07 am

Some girl did this during high school to me, very beautiful and popular girl whereas by high school when I was actually there I was usually sitting alone so it immediately set off red flags to me and I thought I was being set up for trick or cruel prank. It made no sense for this person to try to talk to me, I did not trust her or her social circle so who knows really but I never called.



Aspie1
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 7 Mar 2005
Gender: Male
Posts: 6,749
Location: United States

09 Sep 2016, 12:56 pm

Jacoby wrote:
Some girl did this during high school to me, ...
I had a girl classmate try something similar with me. It was my senior year of high school. I remembered her from the previous year, when she heard about me from a friend, and we passed each other in the hallway. Like in your case, she was very good-looking.

She tried to prank me by talking and acting like she's interested in me. Having been pranked similarly a few years earlier, I knew it was all BS. So I pretty much let her keep doing what she was doing, just to see how far she'll go, while not showing any indication of believing her, like asking her on a date or something. She once tried hugging me closely, to give me an embarrassing "reaction" in public. All this resulted in an ongoing banter of sorts. I managed to remain civil throughout, to keep her from siccing her boyfriend or some other guy on me.

All those interactions had an interesting effect. By mid-spring of the school year, I noticed she warmed up to me quite a bit. Not romantically---far from it!---but she did start treating me in a friendlier manner. Maybe not as a true equal, but as a lovable underdog of sorts. She was also being my first hug from a hot girl, so I guess I broke even in a way.



AnonymousAnonymous
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 23 Nov 2006
Age: 35
Gender: Male
Posts: 74,022
Location: Portland, Oregon

10 Sep 2016, 2:07 pm

In the Spring of last year, I had a seizure one day in the middle of the class. Campus security showed up and threatened to hold the entire class hostage if everyone, including the professor, didn't keep their distance away from me. Security believed I was disrupting the class because they believed my seizure was actually drunken disorderly conduct. Suddenly, a female classmate intervened without anyone expecting it. She told campus security to back off and campus security obliged. Although I'm grateful to her for intervening, she over the course of time, turned into a bossy, naive, b***h who used her charms to use me for her benefit! I'm glad I don't see her anymore because as of April of this year, she has been in rehab for her alcoholism.

To be clear, my GF is not an alcoholic and she attends classes at Portland Community College whereas I attend classes at Portland State University.


_________________
Silly NTs, I have Aspergers, and having Aspergers is gr-r-reat!


Rhapsody
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

User avatar

Joined: 3 Sep 2009
Gender: Female
Posts: 367

10 Sep 2016, 9:45 pm

Thank you all! Yeah, it might just be an odd situation and me confusing definitions. xD

@Jacoby & @Aspie1 - Ohgosh, I never thought this could be a prank! I'm glad my brother threw out the number. I just figured she thought he was cute or something. Girls tend to act stupid around my brother. It's hilarious. Thank you guys so much for the insight, but I'm so sad to hear it happened to you.

@Racheypie666 - Maybe? He doesn't explain himself well.

Hahaha, yeah, there's an age gap. Five years. Dunno if that's enough, though. But there's also a strong family resemblance. We used to be mistaken for twins all the time, but now everyone thinks he's the older one.

@Hopper - Awwww <3 That's sweet of you, and the person who gave you the ticket!



nick007
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 4 May 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 28,184
Location: was Louisiana but now Vermont in capitalistic military dictatorship called USA

14 Sep 2016, 12:21 am

kraftiekortie wrote:
I've had girls give me "wrong" numbers. I'd just throw the paper in the garbage.
That happened to me in my senior year of high-school. A girl told me to call her & gave me her number & it was bad.


_________________
"I don't have an anger problem, I have an idiot problem!"
~King Of The Hill


"Hear all, trust nothing"
~Ferengi Rule Of Acquisition #190
https://memory-alpha.fandom.com/wiki/Ru ... cquisition


nobodycaresaboutme
Blue Jay
Blue Jay

User avatar

Joined: 13 Sep 2016
Gender: Male
Posts: 78
Location: new york

14 Sep 2016, 1:59 am

Wish a girls give me her number :/