Your friend is neat....

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Simple question: does it mean anything "else" when someone compliments you through a secondary source, i.e., someone else?

For example, are their feelings any more...is there anything more to the compliment due to them being unable to say it to you directly, I mean…why compliment me through someone else unless you found it harder to do such a thing directly to me due to “feeling” something other than the said compliment.

I guess it's not so simple after all.

uh.................................

Yeah...I’m confused too.

I think I know what you mean.
I actually believe things more if a compliment about me is said to another person because they have less reason to be lying about it. I think a lot of the time NTs say what they think you want to hear in order to manipulate you and it is hard to know if they are sincere. If they say it to someone else they have less to gain and also have to factor in what the third person thinks about them for having said the compliment. I prefer it that if someone says positive things to me they also throw in a negative as that gives me more confidence they are being honest.

Yeah...that's what I mean: said individual also looks at me a lot; sometimes smiles at me when I return the look, and other misc. things I recognize, i.e., I touched her hand accidentally and she uh…her face went completely “red” and she looked down without looking up again…do these things “mean” anything too?

Why go out of your way to say something nice about me when I've just left "earshot"; I was right there seconds ago….

*SHRUG*

I think she really likes you (romantically) but is too shy to say so and is trying to communicate with you non-directly because of this. If you like her back then ask her for a coffee or something.

this is an easy 'tell.'
Either anger or embarrassment.
You can rule out anger if she is complimenting you ( and smiling).
I would guess she is embarassed by the sexual nature of her thoughts. She wants you to do things to her.

I think you both are right in the “liking” part, I cannot read her mind unfortunately…. It’s taken me about two months to deduce all of this…which is much faster than I usually am, and I see her every few days or so, which is just down the road….

Now, I just rush in headlong…it’s not rejection I fear, it’s the opposite. I'd rather run, but what's that going to accomplish other than hurting people who've "liked" me and never confronting my fears?

how old are you ?

25.

well i would take her for a pizza or something.
Then go watch a movie.
Have a few drinks after, then see how it goes.

The shy reaction in people (NTs mostly) is 'I really REALLY like _____, but they're SO much better than me (think higher up the social scale in their opinion) what if they think I'm a dropkick for liking them? Or worse, are insulted!'

Been there done that Omfg, I used to spaz out so much when hot guys took any interest in me... XD

As for the complimenting through a friend...been there done that too. You're trying to get onside with this person's friend, pass on your interest, and get approval through them INSTEAD of having to face rejection DIRECTLY. It's a protective mechanism.




In the complete opposite direction you get the 'cool kids' sort of people that'll hit on anyone and everything. They're 'above' everyone else in their [deluded] opinion and have no social ladders to climb to reach their desired target. Hence, you'll never see a 'popular kid' kinda person going all shy.

Ok i just thought of another thing Danielismyname...

you don't do this accidentally; you may as well say, "i groped her accidently, just to see if she would let me."

ha ha don't think too hard about that though.

as you know, running away is no good, but it is not like you are getting married yet.
Ask her to go to see a movie or something.

Report back, we need a laugh round here

I’m sure it was an accident…unless that tiny part of me that is NT took over and killed my memory other than what I saw; not what I did and why I did it. Na…I’m certain it was an accident. The "whole" romance thing doesn't worry me (I've read a lot)...it's someone "liking" me that's the problem, i.e., I don't like myself and I'm afraid of people seeing things that I cannot see...or seeing superficial things that mean absolutely nothing to me.

But uh…that’s probably wasted thought in the whole “social experience” that we humans partake in.

Thanks for the replies guys (Shale I like your “other” side perspective).

I used to 'accidentally' touch girls breasts.

Cal.....

Hmm.

so correct me if I'm wrong here on something Daniel....

But what I'm seeing is that you're trying to figure out if you like this girl and if she likes you and if its wise enough to pursue a relationship?