So depressing.....

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Cousins, relatives...much younger than me, who I was used to babysit when they were just toddlers and now are getting engaged/married one after another....all at their peak of youth.

and here I am, getting grey-haired and still alone.

My niece had multiple bfs all throughout high school and is now married, has a hoops, and A new care

It's no guarantee man. I was married at 27, to what was the girl of my dreams in every way and what I thought my inseparable partner for life...

Now I'm getting grey haired and alone too...

Sorry to hear that, what happened?

It seems every younger relative that are a teenager or kid including the ones with aspergers as well all are and still do better than I ever did socially my whole life

The ones with aspergers turned out to have trendy mainstream interests persoality and fashion and thus fit in better. My lil bro has ASD but its mor so he is inappropriate and doesn't shower enough and doesn't care about how others feel so aggressive. things like that his social awkwardness is minimal. His 13 y.o. cousin is so similar and a popular in high school and has had many girlfriends i see a bright future for r both of them unlike me.

The game is rigged.

Is anyone else even the one aspie who can't succeed socially in their family?

i'm the one who doesn't try. as i said in another thread:



believe it or not, there's actually a difference

Careful anagram.....after few years you may come to a different realization, and you start to care (after it's too late or too hard to change things).

Cmon, Boo, you're doing pretty well.

You'd be surprised how many people are in your situation.

I certainly was (without the success) when I was your age.

You're doing what I do sometimes: feel sorry for myself for "first world problems."

Yet you're not in the "first world" LOL

I possessed that same apathetic outlook on life for many years, and at the time it felt great! However, the danger is, one's perception on life can always change.

You also coincidentally look somewhat similar to the actual guy in the photo (judging by past pictures you've posted).

Loong story:

viewtopic.php?t=322491&start=75

But it sucks. So... it's life... but there you have it.

Oh no. My cover has been blown.

I don't have anything to do with my extended family anymore, it's embarrassing and I don't feel like they really care about me anyways. I haven't maintained the relationships and haven't spoken to most in years, I don't really consider them my family anymore. If I never contacted them ever again, I very much doubt I'd hear from them so why should I care about them? Very cold, isolating, lonely world where nobody wants to lend you a helping hand.

I'd be more than mildly concerned if any of .y cousins were getting married, as the oldest one is about 11 I believe

That being said, pretty much all my aunts and uncles are married now, and the one uncle that isn't is in a long term relationship after years of being single due to extreme shyness and social awkwardness.

... I mention my aunts and uncles because they're all under 40 lol. Most are in their mid 30s, youngest aunt is 3 years older than me.

I think a lot of aspies struggle to find relationships that will work for us. Especially since I've noticed a lot of us also have social anxiety to some degree. I probably would have remained single the rest of my life had I not reconnected with an old friend and things hit off romantically.

my life has consistently progressed in the opposite direction actually. but i'm used enough to apathy to know that it's not sustainable. if i can't find anything i care about, i keep at least trying to save money, exercise regularly, eat well and have some near-future travel plan (which will hopefully turn into concrete plans for actually moving somewhere new, sooner rather than later). if i can't care about anything, that means i can't trust my gut, i can only trust my head. it's draining, but it's better than completely giving in

i try not to rush though. because each undertaking that involves other people tends to increase apathy and cynicism in the long run. so i try to come up with ways how the undertaking will lead me closer to what i would like my life to be like when i'm bored, regardless of the direct outcome. "i don't like things that only serve one purpose", and i take this thought seriously. it's too bad work only serves one purpose. it makes me feel numb. it feels like it's the one thing that gives me the possibility of having a life, and it's also the main thing that takes the joy away from it

in theory i could be making a lot more money. i only work an average of two hours a day most weeks. but i don't know if i could handle more. it's not so much the amount of work, but the mental effort of going after / dealing with new clients. there's a lot of things you need to learn to read in between the lines. it took me a long time to get comfortable enough with the two steady ones that i have now (and i was nearly, if not literally, bipolar because of it in the beginning. it's the kind of thing you learn to fear instinctively). but there's no way to know how steady they will be in the future

while this is still an active concern of mine, stable relationships are nearly (if not entirely) impossible, and i don't think there's anything i can do about it that i haven't done already. so i don't beat myself up for it