Question about the 'friendzone'

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Alliekit
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22 Sep 2016, 5:36 am

So this is just a random question about the supposed friendzone

If the guy is fully aware that the girl has boyfriend, is the girl still putting him in the friendzone?



TheForeverMan
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22 Sep 2016, 5:40 am

Depends on the girls disposition. And what she, as an individual choose to do.



Boxman108
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22 Sep 2016, 6:17 am

I don't tend to chase girls who aren't single so it doesn't really apply. I don't get strung along with disingenuous flirting in hopes of getting anywhere only to be used for gifts or emotional support by people already in relationships.


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izzeme
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22 Sep 2016, 8:46 am

It depends on what the guy thinks.
If you are referring to the "friendzone *tm", then yes, she is.

For some people, simply being nice to a girl all but forces her to at least have sex with him, or go on a date or something; not doing so puts him in the 'friendzone', and makes the girl a 'prude', 'b***h' or similar terms.

Personally, i don't believe that the friendzone is a thing, since i do not believe that anything puts a girl in the situation where she *has to* have sex with a guy, which removes the premise.
I am also a strong believer of the possibility of men and women being "just friends", without any tension from either end; many of my good friends are female, and i don't want to have sex with them (or, at least, that is not why i am friends with them, and i am perfectly happy with that situation).

to answer the opening question: i'd say "no, and if he disagrees, be careful around him"



kraftiekortie
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22 Sep 2016, 8:56 am

Hi Alliekat....long time no see

As for your topic:

I would say it depends upon the specific context.



Alliekit
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22 Sep 2016, 10:14 am

Say the girl had made the guy fully aware she has a boyfriend but still hangs out with the guy as a friend.



kraftiekortie
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22 Sep 2016, 10:32 am

I don't see it as a 'friendzone" type of situation, really, though the guy whom she's friends with might be frustrated by the fact that he is not her lover.

I don't see it as placing the guy in the "friendzone." Unless she explicitly precludes the guy from ever being a potential lover in the future.



Jacoby
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22 Sep 2016, 10:47 am

It would depend on the people involved and the nature of their friendship, I think 'friendzone' has more implications than just some platonic friendship with a man. I would not say somebody that is your friend that is also in a relationship while remaining friends with you is in the friendzone, I would only say it is the friendzone if you purposely manipulated his feelings for you to your benefit which I doubt you're are doing. I don't think friendzone is a genuine friendship.



Tim_Tex
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22 Sep 2016, 12:12 pm

I have no problem having opposite-sex friends who are in relationships, per se. However, I don't talk to them as much as I would someone who isn't attached, because I often don't know if their SO is the jealous, insecure type (unless I know that person of course).

It has nothing to do with them being attached. But if it's someone I had been pursuing, prior to me finding out about their new guy, I may not be friends with them, especially if I felt an emotional attachment to them, because I feel it would hurt too much to continue a friendship.


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sly279
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22 Sep 2016, 11:54 pm

How long did you talk with the guy before telling him?

I talked a lot for weeks with a girl from dating site before she told me id say she friendZone me. She let my feeing grow for her which I wouldn't have if I'd known.



Alliekit
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23 Sep 2016, 4:21 am

Say she told him very soon that she had a boyfriend but he still chose to spoil her. Is it her responsibility to get him to stop? Or is it his because he is already fully aware she is in a relationship.

By the way this is hypothetical due to an article I have been reading. I have guy friends but none that spoil me hahaha



TheForeverMan
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23 Sep 2016, 4:31 am

^^ I would feel it is up to her to tell him to stop. Since she is in the position of enjoying what he does or not.

And if I was your guy friend Alliekit, id spoil you rotten. :wink:



Alliekit
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23 Sep 2016, 4:33 am

TheForeverMan wrote:
^^ I would feel it is up to her to tell him to stop. Since she is in the position of enjoying what he does or not.

And if I was your guy friend Alliekit, id spoil you rotten. :wink:


But then I'd have to tell you not to hahaha



TheForeverMan
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23 Sep 2016, 4:34 am

Alliekit wrote:

But then I'd have to tell you not to hahaha



Ah, that is true. But I would appreciate that. That sort of assertiveness is hard to find in my experience.



Alliekit
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23 Sep 2016, 4:38 am

TheForeverMan wrote:
Alliekit wrote:

But then I'd have to tell you not to hahaha



Ah, that is true. But I would appreciate that. That sort of assertiveness is hard to find in my experience.


I have found that many men are put off by assertiveness. Perhaps that's why women avoid it?