The pitfalls of casual dating

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"You know we're just friends, right?"

My date said this to me last night while we were making out in the parking lot of a Dunkin' Donuts. She's been single for two weeks and is also causally seeing another guy (who lives closer by and the two of them go to the bar). I've been out of a relationship for a little over a month and only seeing her. I spilled the beans on being on the spectrum. She's not bothered at all by it (it helps that she's epileptic, bipolar and has a history of depression, so we can sort of relate to each other).

Yes, I acknowledge completely that we're just friends. I'm not completely sure if I want to be in a long term relationship with her or just as friends-with-benefits. But I do have some feelings for her. She's a good listener. She's cute as anything, and for a guy whose short, it helps that she is too (my ex and I are exactly the same height, about 5'7'').

Is it wrong that I want to keep seeing this girl, even if it doesn't go anywhere? My heart might get broken, but every relationship/(semi)-romantic encounter is worth it. I'm just a little offended that she would think after just two dates that I treat her like she's my girlfriend. If the relationship hasn't been defined, then it is what it is. And should I be offended?

I think you just answered your own question . If you really believe that every romantic encounter is worth it, then I say give it a go, especially as you both know what you're getting into.



Maybe she said this just to be clear and honest with you, rather than because you did anything too clingy or serious. She might also have felt the need to state it explicitly out of sensitivity for your AS. Many people with AS have trouble picking up on subtler social cues, so maybe she just wanted to make sure you got it.

I would ditch her and when she asks why just tell her "you know we're just acquaintances right?"

That might have been it. When I am seriously attracted to someone, I get clingy. With her, it's the package. I thought she was this nerdy, Bible-thumping, gun-toting girl. There's more to the story than that. She likes her liquor, has five or six piercings in each ear (and coming from someone whose ex-girlfriend didn't even have her ears pierced, I find that attractive) and she's both flirty and suave. I could try to pull away a little (message her a bit less, stop Snapchatting) but I don't want her to think I've lost interest either. It's a freaking fine line that drives me nuts.



Fat chance of me doing that. This girl is flipping cute.

UPDATE: Overnighted this weekend, had some fun that I'll leave for the imagination.

But I did find out some interesting things, including the fact that her heart is really focused on an old friend of hers and some other stuff. Haven't heard from her since Monday, and to be honest I'm sort of glad that this two week fling is over. I've learned a lot, one being that my days of dating girls taller than my mom are over.

On the other hand, she did have an autism awareness ribbon on her car, so that sort of warmed my heart. Next time though I'm not going through all that trouble.