Men's thread:when she never initiates communication

Post Reply New Topic

And some women here admit that, despite being in an LTR, they still never message first.

So, take note of that for the future, ladies: If your boyfriend doesn't message you in about 3-6 days, perhaps send him a message. It doesn't have to be anything special, just a simple 'Hey'.

It shows you care and makes us feel cared instead of always having to take the initiative.

We've already made the first move dozens, if not hundreds of times, once in a relationship you'd think we could get a break from it.

Lesson learned in my experience say.

Always listen to your spidey sense. Chances are it is right 9 times out of 10. And it is also better to be wrong once than to never listen to it because some guy or girl convinces you otherwise for their benefit.

That also relates to initiating contact with someone. Always go with the spidey sense.

My fiance and I always initiate. Its a matter of taking turns.

However, going back, we met in person and not online. I inititated the dating sequence and never engaged in talking through text unless to ask out and confirm logistics (time, place, etc). Figured after failing miserably with dating others and remembered there was little to talk about in person when all the talk was done in text or phone call.

Of course, I have had some that tell me they were interested in me before despite never initiating contact and their actions in person telling me otherwise. By hearing what I wanted to hear, I ignored my gut feeling (spidey sense), and stayed around longer than I should have trying to get a date only to hear silence when I asked.

Better to listen to your gut and be right 9 times out of ten than never listen at all.

More emotional cues, to go with "Argument Clinic" --
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-4EDhdAHrOg

I guess, we're semi-anonymous. Are you able to describe, in, say, PG-13 language, what you were hoping to get out of this, in a perfect, fairytale world? Since we're discussing executive function, what was your purpose.

Bumping the thread due to a short recent personal incident.

I am re-emphasizing this belief even more: When a woman is never initiating communication ==> Shes is never interested....

....even if she replies you with long texts and with 1000s of words.

.......even if she flirts and compliments you.

.........even if she sends you tons of affectionate gestures (winks irl, kiss emoticons...etc)

Don't fool yourselves guys, all of those mean nothing if she never initiates; a single initiated "Hi" is thousands times more meaningful than all the things mentioned above.

What happened Boo?

Oh. I thought you got involved in a torrid love affair that was as passionate as it was swift.

I literally dropped two guys back to back because they never initiate or drag their feet for too long. I'm modern but I still expect the guy to lead. That's due to my personality more so than my gender. The guys I've liked the most are the ones that texted to see how I was every other day or so. It made me relax and I started to do the same. There's a lot on the line for both genders but some chicks are shy because they don't want to lead a guy on and get axe murdered/raped.

If this has been going on for awhile and she never says hello on her own she's probably prideful and afraid of being donned as too manly or something, or she could be uninterested. I'm shy but ironically I'll ask a guy out if I feel like it. Most girls aren't as bold as I am and are looked down on if they are. Seriously a lot of guys will put them down for s**t that doesn't matter.

I know people don't wanna hear this, especially on this forum but those dating blogs are sometimes right and you just have to get used to self sacrificing and emotionally investing until you figure each other out. In dating we're supposed to learn about the other person, not get so frustrated over past and or future rejections that we don't try to figure them out one by one. If dating is too much work or too hurtful don't date.

I don't know if I entirely agree with this.

My previous (current? It's complicated). relationship didn't begin with instant attraction. She thought I was weird, and I was always looking at her, she thought. We met at work. I'd sit with her sometimes but not really say anything. I might initiate a sentence but not much.

One day she asked why I was so aloof and quiet. I told her about my diagnosis, and then our friendship kicked off. Later, friendship turned into something more. I kind of really messed it up along the way, and now I'm hoping I can fix myself so I can fix it. But hey, maybe if it doesn't work out I'll try online dating and go through the struggle a lot of other people here seem to be doing.

I personally believe being upfront about what you are helps. Also start with friendship. Friendship is hard enough to do. I think if you take that step first and then try something more, it's easier.

Also, some women are shy. I've had this situation before. In this case, you kind of have to be more of the leader, which is very hard for me.