Do Men and Women Expect Too Much from Each Other?

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I'm going with Yes. I think too often people (myself included) put to much hope in the rewards of love. I realize that a life shared is a nice thing, but too often that turns into burden and complaints of needs unfulfilled. Do we sabotage ourselves by expecting too much from our partners?

Musical juxtaposition:

I think so. All genders.

I guess I should expound on this a little LOL.

In my experience, the girlfriends I had expected me to be "around" 24-7.

I've seen guys who get ridiculous. They constantly want their girlfriends to report their whereabouts constantly.

I happen to believe that everybody has the right to "private" moments.

Oh for sure. Everybody needs some time to themselves.

I kinda mean though that sometimes people expect their partner to make them a better person. But I don't think this is the case. I think you should always be able to stand on your own, with or without a partner.

When you rely on someone to change who you are, you are asking too much and it will backfire.

I hate to generalize, but I think both sexes are equally guilty of expecting too much from the opposite one.

I never depend upon anybody to "make me a better person."

I try to do that for myself.

I wouldn't place that burden upon another person; it would be rather presumptuous of me to do so.

Of course everyone does. In our consumer society, where e believe that we can even buy dreams, we want 100% satisfaction of all our fantasies, right here, right now, and throw tantrums like frustrated toddlers if we don't get exactly what we want. And most of the time, we're not even aware of what we're doing.

I think it depends on the people involved. I don't expect anything from someone that I wouldn't expect from myself, so no, I don't think so from where I am coming from.

I expect her to be.....


.... Supergirl!





You can't say that's too much.

I think like this actually. I wouldn't ask a woman to live up to standards I myself don't plan on exceeding. I think I'm personally quite realistic in most areas as it pertains to the opposite sex...

I think just as many people sell themselves short as do expect too much... as in, people are actually too willing to settle just as often from what I've seen. Then there are people who seem very realistic and middle of the road. I think the people who are most unrealistic are the ones that expect every little thing on their 'list' to be checked off before they'll even consider it... and some have some very long, detailed lists.

I think the better question may be, "Do we collectively expect too much from romantic relationships as is pertains to personal fulfillment?"

There is only one area that I couldn't keep up with you on.

It's funny you say that, because I had typed "except in one area maybe" after "opposite sex..." then deleted it for some dumb reason as I always delete like 5 times before I post. I think it's some compulsory illness.

My expectations can be a little unrealistic in some ways I suppose, though as I say, not a standard I don't plan on well exceeding myself

In my experience, definately people's standards can be too high, its often the culture of privalege i think, people cant just be happy... its all gotta be serious - what future sercurity can you provide me, etc

I've heard it mentioned a few times that "I wouldn't expect anything out of them, that I wouldn't do myself.", but even that might be expecting too much. I use to be this way also, but over the last year realized, they are not me, and I am not them, so why would I expect them to do things as I would? That been said, I do think we expect way too much out of each other male and female. We all have our faults and short comings, and we need to accept each other, those included, or we're never going to be happy with anyone. No one can be your total sorce of fulfillment, happiness, and security. That's dangerous. If we expect too much, we should expect to be constantly let down also.

Good lord, YES! Yes yes yes forever yes. People in general expect way too much from each other, and that's without some of these absurd things that we've become culturally conditioned to expect in love (and in courtship, when dating, during sex, in marriage, etc.).

Not as equally.

How so?