Cut my losses or wait it out?

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I like this girl who lives an hour and a half from where I live. She's an aspiring teacher and a college senior. We very briefly spoke back in September, reconnected (via OkCupid, where we originally spoke) back in October, and after a few days of barely hearing from her (and it didn't help that she wasn't really on the site) I asked her if we could text, but she asked if we could do Snapchat instead, which I was fine with. As it turns out, her snaps have told me a more flirtatious and provocative side, which I sort of like, but she has this guy friend who I think she likes as much as she likes me if not more, and this guy from what I can tell isn't reliable when it comes to helping her out, and I can't tell if they're FWB's or what. All I know is that I want more than just the two of us snapchatting.

The good news:
-Our snaps are flirty as anything. Yesterday, she accidentally sent a picture of herself without a top on (just a shoulder and cleavage pic, nothing else, but it was ALMOST revealing).
-She apologized to me (for no effing reason) when she thought she was annoying me with sports talk (last week during game 7 of the World Series). I told her I actually enjoyed it.
-I've tossed the idea (lighthearted of course) of being her cuddle buddy. She's liked the idea.
-She's having me look over her school work.

The bad:
-This guy friend of hers. She spends once or twice a week a good chunk of time there and yesterday she was wearing a top that was fairly provocative. (I am jealous of this guy)
-When I seriously brought up the topic of hanging out in the near future, all she said was "Hopefully". (that's not really an answer)
-Two weeks and I still don't have her number. She accepted my Instagram request though.
-There's a side of me that's wondering if I came late to the party and she's made her mind up. (Which is weird because her OkCupid account is still active and she's been on it in the last few days).

So I have to ask: should I blow her off now, abruptly; confront her about it or just see where it goes? A side of me wants to blow it off as it's frustrating as anything. This might be a tricky time for her to date as she lives at home and commutes to college, so if Mom and Dad threaten to take away her phone, she really can't get another. She's struggling in a few classes.

The short answer: See where it goes.

Slightly longer answer: 4 girls in my life really stand out--the Co-dependent abuser, the Golddigger, the Good Girl, and my wife.

Your interest reminds me of the Golddigger. I thought it could work because I was a few years older and was fairly stable despite being on the tail end of college, and we'd had some past history which made LTR prospects seem promising. It was a long-distance thing, but I managed to see her a couple times a month. Eventually the money dried up and I had to put more effort into finishing school. She got bored and started hanging out with other guys. She relationship ended shortly thereafter, I didn't handle it well, and it wasn't pretty.

I'm not saying you've got a gold digger, I'm just saying the situation feels familiar to me. You have the advantage of being older and able to look at her school work. That's a big plus in your favor. I'm guessing you're working and can probably afford entertaining her and giving her gifts. If so, that will help you "buy" time with her and edge this other guy out.

On the other hand, it seems to me (correct me if I'm wrong) she's spending more time with this other guy. That's the main strike you have against you. You're dealing with someone who is still in school. When you're in school, your focus is supposed to be on your studies, not your social or love life. My "Good Girl" gf was a young college girl I as a grad student "adopted" and corrupted. I insisted she spend time studying and gave her plenty of space, did not isolate her from friends, and enjoyed the time we had together when there wasn't anything else to do. What you seem to be competing with is a guy who can afford to monopolize her time, and that's bad news all the way around. You mention that she's struggling in some areas of school--also not a good sign.

What you have to do is figure out how to get more one-on-one time with her and get her away from this other guy. Proactively working to help her improve her grades would be a huge bonus.

I tend to value modesty. Sending provocative pics is something I find troublesome. The reason why is if she's sending you that kind of thing, who else is she showing off in front of? To me, that's a trust issue, and I tend to shy away from girls like that. But you may find that's not the case, I dunno. I'd be worried that if a relationship were in the cards I might be dealing with a cheater. Use your best judgment here.

So, to sum it all up, it won't hurt you to try dating this girl. In my opinion, your situation is less than ideal, but at least doable. Just be aware of all the caution signs (another guy in the picture, she's still a college kid, struggling with academics, lives with parents, etc.) and don't become too emotionally invested. Part of me suspects she might not be real (lives with parents, no phone/doesn't do calls) and maybe you're getting catfished. And, who knows? I might be completely wrong. Give it an honest chance. Arrange a gtg date. Do NOT, however, move too fast towards an exclusive relationship. Feel free to go out with other girls at this point until you see whether it's going anywhere or not. If it goes absolutely nowhere, don't let yourself feel disappointed. At least you tried and at least got to know a pretty cool person!

Best wishes, and let us know how it works out!

This doesn't happen 'accidentally'.

She does sound like a typical online attention-seeker* and you are just an attention-giver object for her, a +1 to her list of drooling guys; this scenario leads to nowhere, not even to something causal or FWB.


* Symptoms of this net-disease: Using Spanshot, using Instagram and inviting every guy quickly to it, she never initiates contact, and doesn't communicate with you beyond these mediums ie. never giving you her phone number.

That worried me, too. "She" might not even be a girl.

Unless bots or catfishes have gotten THAT advanced, she's legit. I found her Facebook profile (yet to add her), her OkCupid profile and her pictures on Instagram all check out, she sent me something on her college email address.

Anyways, we spoke this morning, and I'll keep chatting, but my eggs are not going in one basket.
-Turns out that guy friend of hers is just a friend, nothing more. The outfit wasn't for him (but she noted where I would figure why)
-"He also made it very clear he wants nothing from me so there's no need to worry."
-Provocative pics: I wouldn't say they were overly provocative (she's curvy to begin with, so cleavage just shows up regardless) outside of her use of makeup, love of tank tops and her excessive tongue-sticking out (which is just a thing she does), they're more flirtatious than flat out provocative.
-She's in her early 20s, and a commuter student to add (doesn't live on campus). Most early-20-something's are in general immature. My match % on OkCupid goes up by the age of the person. I have more 90%+ matches with 24 and 25 year olds than with 21 and 22 year olds.

I'm still on my guard, but hopefully I can break down a few more walls.

So you never met her in person?

Not yet. We just started intensely talking not even two weeks ago.

Yea have to agree with boo for this one. These girls have a habit of keeping you on the hook without reeling you in. my friend is talking to a girl that's similar

She knows exactly what she sends. I don't know any girl who doesn't look at the pic before she sends it. The tougue thing is purposely done as it stirs up thoughts in some men. Just because she is in her early 20s doesnt mean she is so immature she doesn't realise what is sexually attractive in fact women in their early 20s are more likely to use it on purpose even if that purpose is innocent (such as doing it on purpose for your S.O)

I bet that 90% of her FB are guys who don't know her in real life and the other 10% are "babes" like her.

I wanted some advice, not to bad mouth a girl that none of you will ever meet. And I've actually had luck on dating sites. Even if it hasn't gone past a date, I've had luck.

Apologies the intention wasn't to bad mouth I was just saying that she is aware of what she is sending. that doesn't mean she is a bad person

You should not be attached to someone you never met.

Look, it's not badmouthing really, but your description of her fits a typical character we see on the net.

UPDATE: You guys were right. Her personality is a complete mess. I blame myself partially, but she wasn't what I seemed she was.