3 years ago, I had a bit of situation with a girl I liked at work that went rather bad. When I calmed down, I wrote a list of lessons that I had to remember. 3 years on, I just realised I have made mistakes that fall under lessons on this list. I thought I would share in the hope they would useful to other people, I think some are more subbtle lessons.
When applying these lessons, it is vital you judge a particular situtation accurately, misapplication of some lessons in itself will cause its own problems. Most of these are intentionally not firm you must do this or that, because life isn't a simple thing of do this or that. It is just some key principles will tend to apply wherever you go. You also need to assess each point in relation to other points to understand and manage effectively any situation you are in. You may also need to find and apply your own lessons relevant to your own personality and circumstance.
- Be careful about talking about others, even if there is no ill intent, this can lead to a variety of problems, sometimes it is best to work things without another person's help.
- Don't make efforts that are not going to be appreciated or bring any really benefit especially at the cost those who do matter. (careful of this one, it can be hard to judge when an effort needs to be made).
- Remember things that went right in the past, and why they went right, may also help you to assess when you have really made a mistake (ok, this is a biggy).
- Generally, trust your instincts (if they tend to be right).
- Be conscious of things that may be influencing another person's behaviour.
- Be conscious of emotions driving people.
- Remember, some mistakes cannot be undone or repaired
- Be weary of letting emotions get in the way of rational, objective and well thought out actions.
- If you are feeling emotional, don't act till the emotions have had time to settle and you have had time to think!
- Don't draw unneeded non-beneficial attention.
- Avoid positions where you are inherently disadvantaged.
- Protect your online accounts.
- Prioritise your long term future
- Be careful of seeming clingy with any girl
- Have faith in yourself
- Don't let others control you.
- Remember, what one says/does to another person is very likely something they will do to you.
- Be careful of those blaming others when you something has happened, they may be trying to hide what they have done.
- Do make people you care about aware of what is said about them unless there is a good reason why not.
- Remember, people may be nice, but not really trustworthy or care about you! They may just being nice to you when it suits.
- Be weary of showing emotion, this can often backfire.
13 Nov 2016, 4:06 pm
