Accidentally asked two women out...

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So I met two women recently through work, both of whom are really smart and ambitious and cute to boot. I asked one out to an upcoming event via email, but received no response. Assuming she was not interested, I have emailed the other woman. However, I have discovered that the first woman may not have read her email, since the museum where she works is closed today.

Now the odds are most likely both women will decline me, because frankly, that's what I've grown to expect. And so frankly by writing two women I hoped my odds of getting a date with one of them would be better.

But I'm terribly worried that both might accept. What should I do if that should happen?

You're doing exactly the right thing.

Personally, I'd rather ask a girl out by phone or by text. I wouldn't do email, and your post is precisely why this is, well, not BAD, but not the best, either. Phone/voicemail or text is for faster communication and more urgent than email. Email is for time-sensitive non-urgent communication. Phone/text is more on-demand, urgent, respond ASAP.

But either way, you ask her out, allow reasonable time to respond, and move on if you don't hear back. You moved on. You accept a date with the first girl to respond, end of story. Non-response is equivalent to a rejection. Now if she gets back to you too late after you already accepted a date with the other girl, you just tell her "Argh! Why didn't you call me 3 hours ago??? I thought you weren't interested, so I promised to take someone else, and I don't want to be rude. I'm so sorry! I'd still like to see you sometime. Can I make it up to you next week? Pleeeeeeaaaaaaassseeeee???" Never, ever break a date. A good woman will respect you rejecting her one time if you're just trying to do the right thing, especially if she delayed too long getting back to you.

The exception would be if the second woman is a good friend who knows and understands your situation and is totally cool with it. What you do NOT want to do is have your "backup chick" commit to a date contingent on the girl you want accepting a date from you. She just cleared her weekend for you, now she's stuck at the house being bored.

Casually dating any number of people is always a good thing because you all know where you stand. There's nothing exclusive, no big commitments or expectations. You go wrong when you narrow it down to 2 or 3, then you favor one over some "side honey." When you reach that stage, it's time to take it to the next level with a stable, romantic LTR.

The thing is I just have their email, from their business cards (we met in a meeting with an organization for which they both work).

And even if I did have their numbers, I'm too scared to call. And I don't want to put them on the spot. Phone calls are messy, and with emails, they can just ignore me if they're not interested and I get the message without having to endure the embarrassment of an outright rejection.

Meh, and so what? Date both of them at different times then see if you click with one.

What? Do you really think none of the women you dated through dating sites did that? Dating several 10 guys other than you within the same week? I bet many do because the have plenty of choices, more than you and many and most guys in fact - that's why you should not feel guilty.

And if one finds out be like "Well, I am on a roll, you see".

Don't be too ideal.

LOL....just don't go out on the same day...and you should be okay.

You have no obligations to stick to one woman at this point.

If they both accept then go with the one with the biggest boobs. However if they both work for the same company and both communicate to each other than they've been asked, the chances of either accepting are zero. If one does accept not knowing the other was asked and later finds out then that's going to be a tricky situation too.

No man, you're doing it wrong!


If they both accept, take them both at the same time, make a threesome porno later that night, sell the video, make moni, move to LA and become professional pornstars, make even more moni, retire early!

Kaiser or hoagie?

I still haven't heard from either of them. F*ck am I that big of a loser?

No. It's still speculation at this point.

I emailed them both again to see if they'd gotten my previous email. I don't know maybe something happened and they didn't get it. I just want to be sure, even if I come off as overeager. I just would love to have some company instead of going out alone again. Hell I've actually been praying that one of them will accept my invite. I can't recall the last time I've done that.

Hmm hate to say it but sounds like you may have misunderstood the situation...for one chances are the emails on their business cards are probably work email addresses for people to email them about work related things. If neither of them actually gave you a personal email or phone number to call or text I doubt they were interested in going out with you.

I just want to get to know one of them better. The first time there wasnt opportunity to exchange personal info, so I'm trying to forge something now. Hell I just want some company instead of going out alone for once.

You're overthinking it. Stop. Only one email is needed.

I'll be straight up with you. You HAVE to get past your fear of phone/text. That's really all there is to it. I really do feel your pain. I hate texting AND calls. And right now part of my job is texting/calling people to keep people updated and informed. It's painful for me. But it's necessary. Afraid or not, you need a faster, definite way of getting an answer.

It goes like this:
Hi! My name is ___. Remember, we met/spoke at ____? I know you're busy, but I have a quick question. I'm going to _____ at _____ at __:__am/pm and I thought you might like to check it out. Are you interested?

(If yes)
Great! I'll meet you there! I can come by and pick you up if you want. I'm driving by from that direction, anyway. See you then!

(If no)
Aw, that's too bad. Maybe next time, right? Later...

And just keep it that short. Unless she seems to want a conversation and you
have time. I just never assume that she's free to talk. You just need a yes or a no. If no, briefly express your regret (let her know you're interested in her), then get off the phone and move down the list.

Speaking of conversations, if you hate phone conversations, all most people want to do is talk about themselves. Ask her about something she's interested in and just listen. Find something within the conversation you can ask about to keep her going. That will take the pressure off you to be interesting and make her think you're a brilliant conversationist.

I have to somewhat agree. And don't forget that depending on email settings, for example if all emails not from a source on their contact list, everything you send may be going to a junk folder.

That makes sense, and could be one or both did have some interest but didn't get a chance to exchange that kind of info. But if you don't hear back it probably has more to do with situational context, like they saw it as a work thing not the start of a chance to get to know you....rather than you being a big loser. But plenty of relationships start by unconventional asking out, its just taking a chance for sure and wont always be reciprocated.