Board index › Coping in life › Love and Dating

She wants to "play the field"?

Page 1 of 2 [ 22 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2  Next

Previous topic | Next topic

ThisAdamGuy
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 22 May 2015
Age: 32
Gender: Male
Posts: 692
Location: Northwest Arkansas

03 Jan 2017, 8:09 am

I was talking to a woman online last night. She seems really nice, is pretty, and is into a lot of the same things I am. I asked what she was looking for, and she told me she'd just gotten out of a relationship and wasn't ready for another one yet. She wants to date, but she wants to "play the field" and date more than one guy at a time. Maybe it'll become serious, maybe it won't. What I'm wondering is, is this worth my time? Should I date her knowing full well that she's dating other guys, and it most likely won't go anywhere for the simple reason that she doesn't want it to go anywhere?


_________________
Autistic author of fantasy novels. Read them for free HERE!


Luhluhluh
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 3 Dec 2016
Gender: Female
Posts: 755

03 Jan 2017, 8:30 am

ThisAdamGuy wrote:
I was talking to a woman online last night. She seems really nice, is pretty, and is into a lot of the same things I am. I asked what she was looking for, and she told me she'd just gotten out of a relationship and wasn't ready for another one yet. She wants to date, but she wants to "play the field" and date more than one guy at a time. Maybe it'll become serious, maybe it won't. What I'm wondering is, is this worth my time? Should I date her knowing full well that she's dating other guys, and it most likely won't go anywhere for the simple reason that she doesn't want it to go anywhere?


Meh, I'm very leery of the phrase "Not ready for a relationship..." because so much of the time the unspoken words at the end of that phrase are "... with you."

There's nothing wrong with just seeing how it goes but I would not hold my breath on that one.


_________________
That which does not kill us makes us stranger.


kraftiekortie
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 4 Feb 2014
Gender: Male
Posts: 87,510
Location: Queens, NYC

03 Jan 2017, 8:34 am

I agree. I wouldn't really consider her for a serious relationship.

At least she's honest. That's a good thing.

Take it by ear. Who knows? Maybe she might desire you one day.

She seems pretty honorable. She didn't BS you.

It's no reflection on you; it's the state of her mind at the moment.



Alliekit
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 12 Mar 2016
Age: 30
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,182
Location: England

03 Jan 2017, 8:42 am

Why don't you just play the field too. There is nothing wrong with talking too or going out on dates with multiple people as lon as you are not exclusive.



kraftiekortie
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 4 Feb 2014
Gender: Male
Posts: 87,510
Location: Queens, NYC

03 Jan 2017, 8:47 am

^^ Exactly! You have options, too.

I'm glad you encountered this person, rather than one who would "string you along."



ThisAdamGuy
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 22 May 2015
Age: 32
Gender: Male
Posts: 692
Location: Northwest Arkansas

03 Jan 2017, 11:23 am

Well, guess it doesn't matter anymore, since she just ghosted me. Must have found someone better :/


_________________
Autistic author of fantasy novels. Read them for free HERE!


Jacoby
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 10 Dec 2007
Age: 34
Gender: Male
Posts: 14,284
Location: Permanently banned by power tripping mods lol this forum is trash

03 Jan 2017, 11:27 am

I'd be weary of anybody saying that, I don't think most women would want their man 'playing the field' while they dated.



The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 43
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 33,454
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.

03 Jan 2017, 11:59 am

I would be like "Oh me too! I have 5 other dates in queue so far".



Sweetleaf
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 Jan 2011
Age: 35
Gender: Female
Posts: 35,157
Location: Somewhere in Colorado

03 Jan 2017, 12:48 pm

ThisAdamGuy wrote:
Well, guess it doesn't matter anymore, since she just ghosted me. Must have found someone better :/


are you certain? You posted this this at 6 am this morning its not even noon yet, she may just not have gotten back to you yet....of course she might have and you may not hear from her again.


_________________
Metal never dies. \m/


Last edited by Sweetleaf on 03 Jan 2017, 1:24 pm, edited 1 time in total.

The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 43
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 33,454
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.

03 Jan 2017, 12:50 pm

She ghosted him, when a girl is interested she replies fast.



Sweetleaf
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 Jan 2011
Age: 35
Gender: Female
Posts: 35,157
Location: Somewhere in Colorado

03 Jan 2017, 1:53 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
She ghosted him, when a girl is interested she replies fast.


I'd give it at least till the end of the day...And depends on the girl I can say when I've been interested in guys I haven't consistently texted back fast to every message, in fact I hate texting so I usually do it as little as possible. Also if this girl doesn't plan to exclusively date him at this point, she could have other plans for the day.

Just seems a few hours isn't really enough time to jump to the conclusion you've been ghosted. I've certainly gone a few hours without texting/messeging guys I had interest in including my current boyfriend.


_________________
Metal never dies. \m/


Jacoby
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 10 Dec 2007
Age: 34
Gender: Male
Posts: 14,284
Location: Permanently banned by power tripping mods lol this forum is trash

03 Jan 2017, 2:04 pm

Yeah, a bit early to say you were 'ghosted'. Perhaps her saying she wants to 'play the field' can be interpreted as she wasn't interested in a relationship and that was her way of ending it, I think most guys would bail at that point and perhaps that's what she thought would happen.



Last edited by Jacoby on 03 Jan 2017, 2:04 pm, edited 1 time in total.

ThisAdamGuy
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 22 May 2015
Age: 32
Gender: Male
Posts: 692
Location: Northwest Arkansas

03 Jan 2017, 2:04 pm

Sweetleaf wrote:
Also if this girl doesn't plan to exclusively date him at this point, she could have other plans for the day.


We agreed to go see a movie and get lunch today. The fact that it's past lunch time and she hasn't answered any of my texts tells me that she's not interested in talking anymore.


_________________
Autistic author of fantasy novels. Read them for free HERE!


Sweetleaf
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 Jan 2011
Age: 35
Gender: Female
Posts: 35,157
Location: Somewhere in Colorado

03 Jan 2017, 2:18 pm

ThisAdamGuy wrote:
Sweetleaf wrote:
Also if this girl doesn't plan to exclusively date him at this point, she could have other plans for the day.


We agreed to go see a movie and get lunch today. The fact that it's past lunch time and she hasn't answered any of my texts tells me that she's not interested in talking anymore.


Ah well that's different, if you made plans and they aren't responding I was thinking maybe you just had casual conversation and hadn't heard back yet which is pretty norma.


_________________
Metal never dies. \m/


kraftiekortie
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 4 Feb 2014
Gender: Male
Posts: 87,510
Location: Queens, NYC

03 Jan 2017, 2:25 pm

Were you supposed to meet at a certain place?



ThisAdamGuy
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 22 May 2015
Age: 32
Gender: Male
Posts: 692
Location: Northwest Arkansas

03 Jan 2017, 2:32 pm

We never decided. We were supposed to choose a place and a movie to see this morning.


_________________
Autistic author of fantasy novels. Read them for free HERE!