Suddenly not liking someone anymore

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I have this weird problem where I'll really like someone and I'll try really hard to become good friends with them in order to get them to like me.

Then, for some reason, if I find out they do like me, I lose interest. But I don't want to ruin the friendship or relationship, so I try to convince myself that I still like them, and I get my brain all tied up in knots about it and can't sleep and I really don't know whether I like the person or not, and I don't want to hurt their feelings, so it's very hard to reject them.

Has anybody else had this problem? Is it something that tends to happen to people with aspergers and/or alexythmia? Or is it just me? Does anyone have advice?

I think this is common with everyone - the wanting that which you can't have.

Somewhere I had read about a study that suggests dopamine was elevated in the brain the longer a person had to wait for something they wanted. So naturally, the anticipation is a great time. And then dopamine levels dropped once they actually got it, bringing that person back down to reality again.

So the only way for you to keep a boyfriend is if he treats you in a way that shows he doesn't like you?

I'm not understanding what that has to do with the original post...?

Luhluhluhluhluh, why you are not understanding? It's totally on topic: She is saying that she stops liking someone once she finds out they like her back.

Which means, Luhluhluhluh, that in order for her to keep a bf/gf, they (the bf or gf) needs not to make her find out that he/she likes her - in other time they need to keep her wondering.

Ah I see ... it's yet another "nice guys finish last" thread. Yes.

Well, all I can say is that if men did not chase emotionally unstable women, or at least recognize that she is emotionally unstable in the first place, there would be no hurt feelings. But somehow the blame always falls on the shoulders of the woman.

I suspect that it may have something to do with the emotional stability and/or maturity of the man in question.

Edited to add: In no way am I suggesting that OP is emotionally unstable. I am using the universal "She" in this instance.

Luhlululuhluh, it has nothing to do with Nice guys and blabla of the sort.
My post was totally OP-specific and bit sarcastic.

So Lulululuuh, are you saying that the OP is emotionally unstable? But you said earlier that it's common and normal.

:-/ You confuse me, Miss Luluhluhluuh (I like your username).

physicnus, seriously though, I am not gonna sugarcoat my answer:
No, this is *not* normal - normally when one really likes someone they keep liking this person unless something significant change or some conflict happens - but stoping someone *just simply because* you find out they like you back... is *not* normal. Sorry for being so blunt, but you need to know it.

If you notice that it is becoming like habit of yours and always happening then you seriously need to fix it, otherwise you will end up alone forever.

I've always taken this to be fairly normal behavior that is evolutionarily beneficial.

If either sex plays "hard to get" so to speak, it keeps the other party in doubt and in waiting, wondering. It allows that level of dopamine to build up over time.

And let's not pretend that guys don't do this because you do lol

It's just that we grow out of it - or at least SHOULD. It gets old hat and boring. And really who wants to be with someone who keeps you guessing about their intention?

Lulululuululuh, I think I like you.

Or maybe not.

Most probably I don't give a damn.

I'm old enough to not care if anyone likes me. I'll be over here with my cats.

And get off my lawn.

**Rolling on lawn** weee feels so nice.

Maybe you stop liking them OP because you get anxious about the idea of actually having some kind of relationship.

QFT. Not healthy, but common enough.