Too damaged to feel romantic love?

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I have been dating an amazing guy for over a year but my emotions don't seem to be catching up. I lost my first love seven years ago when I was 15. It tore me up into a million pieces. About 7 months later I felt lonely and wanted to fill the void so I turned to dating sites. I got caught in a cycle where I would be chatting with one guy then a better guy would come along and id drop the first guy. Multiple times over five years my parents caught me on the sites and cut me off cold turkey. Sometimes id even have feelings for who'd id be chatting up at the time of being caught. In Spring 2014, I met a 23 year old guy who was going through a divorce and we had a secret fling until my parents caught me again I too had developed feelings for this guy. I'm now 22 years old and I'm scared that my emotions are too damaged from going back and forth from growing and stopping all those years. I don't want to lose my boyfriend. What's wrong with me?

I may have had too much wine, but I can't figure out where the current boyfriend comes into this. How did you meet him? Why did you start going out with him? What's keeping you in the relationship? What are you looking for?

I'll tell you one thing:

A man would be fortunate, indeed, to be dating a Melodious Kitten.