Are Those With Autism Usually Late Bloomers Dating Wise?

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ShadowProphet
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12 Sep 2016, 6:42 pm

Do we usually get into relationships, have sex, at a later compared to the neurotypical population?



Tim_Tex
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12 Sep 2016, 6:49 pm

It's one of those things that varies from person to person, even among those not on the spectrum.

I entered my first relationship at 17, but haven't been in one in 10 years.


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mikeman7918
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12 Sep 2016, 9:21 pm

My brother was in his first relationship at age 15 and he has been in a few more since including one that he's in right now. In contrast I have been on a single date at age 17. This probably has more to do with being aromantic and asexual, I only entered that relationship because I felt pressured to do so and I haven't even tried to get into a relationship since.


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kraftiekortie
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12 Sep 2016, 9:25 pm

As long as you, eventually, meet the "right" person, it doesn't really matter how "late" or "early" you are when it comes to sex and relationships.



ShadowProphet
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12 Sep 2016, 11:13 pm

Honestly i'm 21 and in college for the first time, I really want to improve my situation with women and I think me living in the college dorm, there's not a better time to do it.

Iv'e changed a lot in the past 20 months. I went through a period of extreme and intense loneliness starting in 2016 and it's caused me to become much more serious, not as funny as I used to be but i'm also much more polite, in touch with my emotions, sympathetic of other people and I feel more mature.



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12 Sep 2016, 11:33 pm

ShadowProphet wrote:
Honestly i'm 21 and in college for the first time, I really want to improve my situation with women and I think me living in the college dorm, there's not a better time to do it.


I'm 20 and trying the same thing, but with men as well since I'm bisexual. I'm getting some guys on Yik Yak willing to have a hookup with me, but then they stop talking to me when they ask for my picture and I show them. One person just flat-out called me ugly. So despite what lidsmichelle says, men have standards, and I don't meet them.



WantToHaveALife
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31 Dec 2016, 4:06 pm

yes it is quite common



nick007
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01 Jan 2017, 12:27 am

I think we tend to be but it varies by the Aspie. I had no interest in romantic relationships till my 1st girlfriend told me she liked me when I was 20 & then I realized I liked her. We broke up after about 6 months & I was single for 8 years sense despite my best efforts to find someone.


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01 Jan 2017, 6:37 am

nick007 wrote:
I think we tend to be but it varies by the Aspie. I had no interest in romantic relationships till my 1st girlfriend told me she liked me when I was 20 & then I realized I liked her. We broke up after about 6 months & I was single for 8 years sense despite my best efforts to find someone.


ya, quite common for aspies to be single throughout all or most of their 20's



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02 Jan 2017, 5:07 pm

Definitely.

It's said that we have the social maturity of approximately 2/3rds our chronological age. So, it seems entirely reasonable that aspies go through the relationship stages of people 2/3rds their age.. ie experiencing things at age 30 that most NT's likely would at 20.


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03 Jan 2017, 10:51 am

goldfish21 wrote:
It's said that we have the social maturity of approximately 2/3rds our chronological age. So, it seems entirely reasonable that aspies go through the relationship stages of people 2/3rds their age.. ie experiencing things at age 30 that most NT's likely would at 20.
I have found this to be true in many cases. Relationship maturity seems to have a different rate of growth than standard emotional maturity, but you can predict how someone in their 1st relationship will act, compared to their 2nd, compared to their 8th, etc. But in a majority of aspies I know (and myself) the relationship maturity seems to progress about 2/3rds the speed.

This is obviously a generalization, but it holds true often enough to be a useful reference.



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03 Jan 2017, 8:54 pm

goldfish21 wrote:
Definitely.

It's said that we have the social maturity of approximately 2/3rds our chronological age. So, it seems entirely reasonable that aspies go through the relationship stages of people 2/3rds their age.. ie experiencing things at age 30 that most NT's likely would at 20.


sounds a little bit accurate



Northeastern292
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03 Jan 2017, 9:26 pm

VERY accurate statement, but then again, I recently went on a few dates with an NT (who might I add, has a background in special education, who is almost 25, only lost her v-card at 23 AND can count on one hand how many times she has done it. There are definitely NT's who are also late bloomers.

But yes, we are generally very late bloomers.



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04 Jan 2017, 1:17 am

WantToHaveALife wrote:
ya, quite common for aspies to be single throughout all or most of their 20's


I was. It was a pretty depressing decade of my life. Today was rather depressing as well, though.



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05 Jan 2017, 12:51 am

I was ahead of my age with some dating/relationship/xxx things & way behind at others.

But the ~2/3rds thing came up in my mind recently as I've been dating someone quite a bit younger than me.. around 2/3rds-ish my age, and it just makes sense why I get along as well as I do with people in that age range. Even though I'm a LOT more social now than I've ever been, I still tend to get along with younger people sooo much better than people my age - I'm just a lot better at getting along with them than I used to be vs. having a desire to socialize more with people my own age. Add in the fact that I've also only ever been sexually attracted to people younger than me vs. older and it makes sense, too.


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WantToHaveALife
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05 Jan 2017, 4:03 pm

ProfessorJohn wrote:
WantToHaveALife wrote:
ya, quite common for aspies to be single throughout all or most of their 20's


I was. It was a pretty depressing decade of my life. Today was rather depressing as well, though.


so you didn't get into your first relationship until your late 20's or not until your 30's?