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Red flags in dating? Early stages

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Luhluhluh
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11 Jan 2017, 6:08 pm

Alliekit wrote:
Hexen wrote:
Sweetleaf wrote:
Hexen wrote:
It's a red flag to me and I've NEVER seen a relationship where a women likes to go bar hopping last; not once.


What's a red flag to you exactly, just if a girl is out somewhere having drinks?

And well in my relationship me and my boyfriend drink at home, we have also gone out to bars and such to drink as well....you've never seen a woman in a relationship who enjoys going out to bars and drinking?

No in an exclusive relationship, no.


nice to meet you I'm engaged and love to go out for a drink with my friends and coursemates


Agreed, nice to meet you both. I've been with the same Aspie for more than 12 years and go out with my co-workers (CO-ED co-workers lol) sometimes for happy hour at the local pub.

Never cheated. Never even thought about it.


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MsV
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11 Jan 2017, 8:00 pm

0_equals_true wrote:
I think the idea of hard and fast rules for red flags doesn't away work. People are complex beings.

Take things at you own pace. Relationships about respect, so it goes with out saying that both parties need to be considerate. If you are compatible you will be doing this anyway.

I don't mean some politically correct idea of a relationship, but being easy going around each other.

I think definite red flag is people who gravitate towards drama, or create it.



So disregarding multiple requests to back off after crossing various boundaries - before even really dating - by still texting... in your opinion? I'm serious, your answer seems really rational.
Atm I feel really rude not replying but don't want to make him think i want contact after he actually scared me and just seeing his name pop up makes me really stess out. He's trying to guilt me into answering and I'm worried about either course of action.



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11 Jan 2017, 8:03 pm

MsV wrote:
0_equals_true wrote:
I think the idea of hard and fast rules for red flags doesn't away work. People are complex beings.

Take things at you own pace. Relationships about respect, so it goes with out saying that both parties need to be considerate. If you are compatible you will be doing this anyway.

I don't mean some politically correct idea of a relationship, but being easy going around each other.

I think definite red flag is people who gravitate towards drama, or create it.



So disregarding multiple requests to back off after crossing various boundaries - before even really dating - by still texting... in your opinion? I'm serious, your answer seems really rational.
Atm I feel really rude not replying but don't want to make him think i want contact after he actually scared me and just seeing his name pop up makes me really stess out. He's trying to guilt me into answering and I'm worried about either course of action.
That leaves you with only 2 options, and if the guy takes rejection badly they'll take it badly either way. Do what makes you comfortable. You're only in the dating stage.


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MsV
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11 Jan 2017, 8:06 pm

hurtloam wrote:
Well here's an annoying thing. For the past few weeks a video about spotting a narcisist has been popping up on my Youtube feed and the day I actually want it, it's no where to be see. Murphy's law.


Here's on that is a bit close to the bone. I started watching and I was like, um, this is a bit harsh, but give it a chance. He's got a gentle way of explaining things. Though this is his own opinion.



He does comedy videos too. This was the first serious one I came across and I was very confused. I was like, this is definitely not funny.



Thanks so much I thought I was finally done and that my point had come across but he's messaging me again and I don't know how to react. If I don't reply it's probably rude but if I do it may restart everything. Thing is once again he said: no more contact till you initiate. Once again he does not keep his word (it's only been 2 days)... I feel like crap either way. And we were friends for a long time before so blocking him is harsh? Or something? I don't get these situations. Me and my friends and family don't really act like this. Damn this even had me messing up my grammar. My friends, family and I. :|



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11 Jan 2017, 8:10 pm

TheSpectrum wrote:
MsV wrote:
0_equals_true wrote:
I think the idea of hard and fast rules for red flags doesn't away work. People are complex beings.

Take things at you own pace. Relationships about respect, so it goes with out saying that both parties need to be considerate. If you are compatible you will be doing this anyway.

I don't mean some politically correct idea of a relationship, but being easy going around each other.

I think definite red flag is people who gravitate towards drama, or create it.



So disregarding multiple requests to back off after crossing various boundaries - before even really dating - by still texting... in your opinion? I'm serious, your answer seems really rational.
Atm I feel really rude not replying but don't want to make him think i want contact after he actually scared me and just seeing his name pop up makes me really stess out. He's trying to guilt me into answering and I'm worried about either course of action.
That leaves you with only 2 options, and if the guy takes rejection badly they'll take it badly either way. Do what makes you comfortable. You're only in the dating stage.


Not even dating, considering the idea of dating (we're not in the same country but both fairly mobile), were supposed to meet face to face in march. But we were friends before - like work in the same field and started talking about work. I probably over shared and he figured out what to say to make me consider dating. I usually don't... I'm an idiot... :cry:



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11 Jan 2017, 8:26 pm

Just a quick thanks to all of you. Though I would have a total shutdown when I first posted, just driving myself insane doubting myself and whether or not I did one/multiple things / everything wrong.

You made me feel like I wasnt alone. Like its ok to have boundaries and preferences and in short individuality. In a way have me the strength to stand by them. So thanks. It helped more than you know.

Now I'm proud I stood by my convictions for once.
I just wish he would leave me alone...



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11 Jan 2017, 8:28 pm

I'm glad you feel reassured.
All the best with other suitors.


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11 Jan 2017, 8:30 pm

League_Girl wrote:
nurseangela wrote:
League_Girl wrote:
In response to someone's post who wrote about someone could have an ASD or a personality disorder, I don't care what disorder anyone has, if any of your behavior is toxic and overwhelming for me and it's going cause you to do abuse and control me and bring down my low self esteem and give me anxiety and be so cold towards me and non empathetic and non understanding, and bring me into depression, you're out of here. A label doesn't matter, only the behavior does and how you make me feel and how well you treat me. Being a martyr isn't good for you and either is white knighting.


Now more red flags: Trying to get me to cut off friends just because they are not the right gender and getting mad at me for who I talk to. I bet my ex would have also gotten mad at me if I wanted to go out with friends or go to groups and he tried to get me to cut off my online friends who weren't female and telling me I can only talk to aspie ones. Really I shouldn't have to go online and then ignore anyone who isn't a woman and imagine if someone sent me a PM and I ignore it because they were a guy? What kind of life would that be not being able to interact with anyone online unless they were a woman?


Trust issues is also another red flag.


"Now more red flags: Trying to get me to cut off friends just because they are not the right gender and getting mad at me for who I talk to. I bet my ex would have also gotten mad at me if I wanted to go out with friends or go to groups and he tried to get me to cut off my online friends who weren't female and telling me I can only talk to aspie ones. Really I shouldn't have to go online and then ignore anyone who isn't a woman and imagine if someone sent me a PM and I ignore it because they were a guy? What kind of life would that be not being able to interact with anyone online unless they were a woman?"

I see this as a big red flag. I had set up a thread just on this topic about how men and women can't just be friends. If I had a Hunny with several "girl" friends - not going to work out. It's a recipe for disaster. I see this setup being ok for a lot of Aspies, but IMO, NT women do not go for it.



I'm lost. Are you trying to say men and women can't be friends and someone who will talk to anyone online is a red flag?

I talk to anyone online. Gender doesn't matter and I am not looking for a relationship or for a hook up. If I go to a group, it doesn't matter who is there and who I talk to. Gender doesn't matter. I am not looking for a relationship. BTW when I respond to posts here, I am sure talking to someone here and should I not reply to a post here because it was posted by a guy? That is how controlling it felt for me by my ex.

My husband plays online games and I don't really care who he talks to on there. I know he has talked to females on there but it's just normal chats and I never made him dump his online friends who were female he met from the game.


I don't see a forum such as this being any problem. I see texting and going out in groups of both men and women without your Hunny or spouse as a problem as those are more personal where you actually are with the people. Why text a guy friend when you could be texting your Hunny and saying sweet "somethings"? :mrgreen:


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11 Jan 2017, 8:45 pm

nurseangela wrote:
League_Girl wrote:
nurseangela wrote:
League_Girl wrote:
In response to someone's post who wrote about someone could have an ASD or a personality disorder, I don't care what disorder anyone has, if any of your behavior is toxic and overwhelming for me and it's going cause you to do abuse and control me and bring down my low self esteem and give me anxiety and be so cold towards me and non empathetic and non understanding, and bring me into depression, you're out of here. A label doesn't matter, only the behavior does and how you make me feel and how well you treat me. Being a martyr isn't good for you and either is white knighting.


Now more red flags: Trying to get me to cut off friends just because they are not the right gender and getting mad at me for who I talk to. I bet my ex would have also gotten mad at me if I wanted to go out with friends or go to groups and he tried to get me to cut off my online friends who weren't female and telling me I can only talk to aspie ones. Really I shouldn't have to go online and then ignore anyone who isn't a woman and imagine if someone sent me a PM and I ignore it because they were a guy? What kind of life would that be not being able to interact with anyone online unless they were a woman?


Trust issues is also another red flag.


"Now more red flags: Trying to get me to cut off friends just because they are not the right gender and getting mad at me for who I talk to. I bet my ex would have also gotten mad at me if I wanted to go out with friends or go to groups and he tried to get me to cut off my online friends who weren't female and telling me I can only talk to aspie ones. Really I shouldn't have to go online and then ignore anyone who isn't a woman and imagine if someone sent me a PM and I ignore it because they were a guy? What kind of life would that be not being able to interact with anyone online unless they were a woman?"

I see this as a big red flag. I had set up a thread just on this topic about how men and women can't just be friends. If I had a Hunny with several "girl" friends - not going to work out. It's a recipe for disaster. I see this setup being ok for a lot of Aspies, but IMO, NT women do not go for it.



I'm lost. Are you trying to say men and women can't be friends and someone who will talk to anyone online is a red flag?

I talk to anyone online. Gender doesn't matter and I am not looking for a relationship or for a hook up. If I go to a group, it doesn't matter who is there and who I talk to. Gender doesn't matter. I am not looking for a relationship. BTW when I respond to posts here, I am sure talking to someone here and should I not reply to a post here because it was posted by a guy? That is how controlling it felt for me by my ex.

My husband plays online games and I don't really care who he talks to on there. I know he has talked to females on there but it's just normal chats and I never made him dump his online friends who were female he met from the game.


I don't see a forum such as this being any problem. I see texting and going out in groups of both men and women without your Hunny or spouse as a problem as those are more personal where you actually are with the people. Why text a guy friend when you could be texting your Hunny and saying sweet "somethings"? :mrgreen:


Why not text your guy friend and your hunny. Also I go out with my friends (who are a mixed group) often because I was friends with them before my partner came along.



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11 Jan 2017, 8:50 pm

nurseangela wrote:
League_Girl wrote:
nurseangela wrote:
League_Girl wrote:
In response to someone's post who wrote about someone could have an ASD or a personality disorder, I don't care what disorder anyone has, if any of your behavior is toxic and overwhelming for me and it's going cause you to do abuse and control me and bring down my low self esteem and give me anxiety and be so cold towards me and non empathetic and non understanding, and bring me into depression, you're out of here. A label doesn't matter, only the behavior does and how you make me feel and how well you treat me. Being a martyr isn't good for you and either is white knighting.


Now more red flags: Trying to get me to cut off friends just because they are not the right gender and getting mad at me for who I talk to. I bet my ex would have also gotten mad at me if I wanted to go out with friends or go to groups and he tried to get me to cut off my online friends who weren't female and telling me I can only talk to aspie ones. Really I shouldn't have to go online and then ignore anyone who isn't a woman and imagine if someone sent me a PM and I ignore it because they were a guy? What kind of life would that be not being able to interact with anyone online unless they were a woman?


Trust issues is also another red flag.


"Now more red flags: Trying to get me to cut off friends just because they are not the right gender and getting mad at me for who I talk to. I bet my ex would have also gotten mad at me if I wanted to go out with friends or go to groups and he tried to get me to cut off my online friends who weren't female and telling me I can only talk to aspie ones. Really I shouldn't have to go online and then ignore anyone who isn't a woman and imagine if someone sent me a PM and I ignore it because they were a guy? What kind of life would that be not being able to interact with anyone online unless they were a woman?"

I see this as a big red flag. I had set up a thread just on this topic about how men and women can't just be friends. If I had a Hunny with several "girl" friends - not going to work out. It's a recipe for disaster. I see this setup being ok for a lot of Aspies, but IMO, NT women do not go for it.



I'm lost. Are you trying to say men and women can't be friends and someone who will talk to anyone online is a red flag?

I talk to anyone online. Gender doesn't matter and I am not looking for a relationship or for a hook up. If I go to a group, it doesn't matter who is there and who I talk to. Gender doesn't matter. I am not looking for a relationship. BTW when I respond to posts here, I am sure talking to someone here and should I not reply to a post here because it was posted by a guy? That is how controlling it felt for me by my ex.

My husband plays online games and I don't really care who he talks to on there. I know he has talked to females on there but it's just normal chats and I never made him dump his online friends who were female he met from the game.


I don't see a forum such as this being any problem. I see texting and going out in groups of both men and women without your Hunny or spouse as a problem as those are more personal where you actually are with the people. Why text a guy friend when you could be texting your Hunny and saying sweet "somethings"? :mrgreen:



What if your partner doesn't want to go? Should you not go either?

Should I not attend a support group because there might be guys there more than women or should I not go to a gaming group because there could be guys there or not go to a munch? That is what I am talking about.

Also I talk to anyone online. That doesn't mean I am looking for a hook up. Just talk to your partner about boundaries and if he doesn't want you sexting or showing your nudes or any of your private parts or doing any posing for them, that is fine and not controlling just as long as they are not dictating about who you should talk to. Many people would consider this cheating, especially if you act out kinks with another person. But if it's just normal chatting like things about in life or about hobbies or interests or just someone you know from a forum or game, that is fine IMO. If a guy doesn't like that, we wouldn't be together. To me it would be too controlling and trying to cut me off from social life and friends and trying to keep me sheltered.


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11 Jan 2017, 8:59 pm

My brother once dated a girl in high school and she wouldn't let him go out anywhere with his friends so one day my brother couldn't go to Missoula with us because his girlfriend would have gotten mad at him if he did and I felt mad at my brother for letting him control him. Why doesn't she just come too you know? What was stopping her? My brothers were having their friends come along too and she didn't want him going with us. Nope I will never let anyone treat me that way and my brother dodged a bullet when they broke up. He tried to stay friends but she kept on going "hey we are getting along, we should get back together" and he started to avoid her after a while because she kept on bringing it up and he had made it clear they were done. She did become a crazy ex because she came to my house and trashed his bedroom and her intention was to get his attention so he would call her and ask her to help him clean it up but instead he called his new friend who is a girl and she found out and got mad. Then she was bragging about what she did to my brother only for a rumor to start and everyone thought she was crazy because they thought she broke his window, slashed his mattress, etc. and everyone was telling my brother good thing he broke up with her because she is nuts. I was harsh about it because I told my mom my brother should just leave it alone and let kids think whatever because it serves her right but my mom didn't agree and said she just needed counseling so she was telling my brother he needs to go to school and tell everyone what really happened. But even then I didn't care for controllers and abusers and didn't want to be near them but it was ironic I got into a relationship with one and didn't realize it. But I wouldn't let him dictate who I can talk to online. I wouldn't let him control me either so I would wait until he was gone before I would talk to my parents on the phone so he couldn't get mad at me about it and butt in and want to know what we talked about. I let him call me self centered and not give in. It was as if I was defiant because I wouldn't let him control me. I thought he was paranoid anyway. I added that to my red flag list, too paranoid.


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11 Jan 2017, 9:16 pm

League_Girl wrote:
nurseangela wrote:
League_Girl wrote:
nurseangela wrote:
League_Girl wrote:
In response to someone's post who wrote about someone could have an ASD or a personality disorder, I don't care what disorder anyone has, if any of your behavior is toxic and overwhelming for me and it's going cause you to do abuse and control me and bring down my low self esteem and give me anxiety and be so cold towards me and non empathetic and non understanding, and bring me into depression, you're out of here. A label doesn't matter, only the behavior does and how you make me feel and how well you treat me. Being a martyr isn't good for you and either is white knighting.


Now more red flags: Trying to get me to cut off friends just because they are not the right gender and getting mad at me for who I talk to. I bet my ex would have also gotten mad at me if I wanted to go out with friends or go to groups and he tried to get me to cut off my online friends who weren't female and telling me I can only talk to aspie ones. Really I shouldn't have to go online and then ignore anyone who isn't a woman and imagine if someone sent me a PM and I ignore it because they were a guy? What kind of life would that be not being able to interact with anyone online unless they were a woman?


Trust issues is also another red flag.


"Now more red flags: Trying to get me to cut off friends just because they are not the right gender and getting mad at me for who I talk to. I bet my ex would have also gotten mad at me if I wanted to go out with friends or go to groups and he tried to get me to cut off my online friends who weren't female and telling me I can only talk to aspie ones. Really I shouldn't have to go online and then ignore anyone who isn't a woman and imagine if someone sent me a PM and I ignore it because they were a guy? What kind of life would that be not being able to interact with anyone online unless they were a woman?"

I see this as a big red flag. I had set up a thread just on this topic about how men and women can't just be friends. If I had a Hunny with several "girl" friends - not going to work out. It's a recipe for disaster. I see this setup being ok for a lot of Aspies, but IMO, NT women do not go for it.



I'm lost. Are you trying to say men and women can't be friends and someone who will talk to anyone online is a red flag?

I talk to anyone online. Gender doesn't matter and I am not looking for a relationship or for a hook up. If I go to a group, it doesn't matter who is there and who I talk to. Gender doesn't matter. I am not looking for a relationship. BTW when I respond to posts here, I am sure talking to someone here and should I not reply to a post here because it was posted by a guy? That is how controlling it felt for me by my ex.

My husband plays online games and I don't really care who he talks to on there. I know he has talked to females on there but it's just normal chats and I never made him dump his online friends who were female he met from the game.


I don't see a forum such as this being any problem. I see texting and going out in groups of both men and women without your Hunny or spouse as a problem as those are more personal where you actually are with the people. Why text a guy friend when you could be texting your Hunny and saying sweet "somethings"? :mrgreen:



What if your partner doesn't want to go? Should you not go either?

Should I not attend a support group because there might be guys there more than women or should I not go to a gaming group because there could be guys there or not go to a munch? That is what I am talking about.

Also I talk to anyone online. That doesn't mean I am looking for a hook up. Just talk to your partner about boundaries and if he doesn't want you sexting or showing your nudes or any of your private parts or doing any posing for them, that is fine and not controlling just as long as they are not dictating about who you should talk to. Many people would consider this cheating, especially if you act out kinks with another person. But if it's just normal chatting like things about in life or about hobbies or interests or just someone you know from a forum or game, that is fine IMO. If a guy doesn't like that, we wouldn't be together. To me it would be too controlling and trying to cut me off from social life and friends and trying to keep me sheltered.


Now I'm confused. Are there guys out there that think this is ok?

"Just talk to your partner about boundaries and if he doesn't want you sexting or showing your nudes or any of your private parts or doing any posing for them, that is fine and not controlling".

If my Hunny was ever doing the above or said it was ok for me to do - I'm outta there (after I give him a big kick in the a$$)!


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Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 83 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 153 of 200 You are very likely neurotypical
Darn, I flunked.


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11 Jan 2017, 9:23 pm

League_Girl wrote:
My brother once dated a girl in high school and she wouldn't let him go out anywhere with his friends so one day my brother couldn't go to Missoula with us because his girlfriend would have gotten mad at him if he did and I felt mad at my brother for letting him control him. Why doesn't she just come too you know? What was stopping her? My brothers were having their friends come along too and she didn't want him going with us. Nope I will never let anyone treat me that way and my brother dodged a bullet when they broke up. He tried to stay friends but she kept on going "hey we are getting along, we should get back together" and he started to avoid her after a while because she kept on bringing it up and he had made it clear they were done. She did become a crazy ex because she came to my house and trashed his bedroom and her intention was to get his attention so he would call her and ask her to help him clean it up but instead he called his new friend who is a girl and she found out and got mad. Then she was bragging about what she did to my brother only for a rumor to start and everyone thought she was crazy because they thought she broke his window, slashed his mattress, etc. and everyone was telling my brother good thing he broke up with her because she is nuts. I was harsh about it because I told my mom my brother should just leave it alone and let kids think whatever because it serves her right but my mom didn't agree and said she just needed counseling so she was telling my brother he needs to go to school and tell everyone what really happened. But even then I didn't care for controllers and abusers and didn't want to be near them but it was ironic I got into a relationship with one and didn't realize it. But I wouldn't let him dictate who I can talk to online. I wouldn't let him control me either so I would wait until he was gone before I would talk to my parents on the phone so he couldn't get mad at me about it and butt in and want to know what we talked about. I let him call me self centered and not give in. It was as if I was defiant because I wouldn't let him control me. I thought he was paranoid anyway. I added that to my red flag list, too paranoid.


I don't see any problem with a girl's or guy's night out - but not a lot to where it's every week. Once you decide to be a couple with someone, then you are a couple. I think you should always ask your Hunny if they want to go and if they don't then it is still ok to go. I am also one that believes you should call your other half (after you are married) to let them know where you are and to check in otherwise they could worry and wonder what is going on. When one is single, I don't think you should have to check in with anyone, but once you are married then you have a duty to that other person to let them know where you are. Am I rambling? Does that make sense? When you are married, it's not just you anymore.


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Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 83 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 153 of 200 You are very likely neurotypical
Darn, I flunked.


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11 Jan 2017, 9:25 pm

League_Girl wrote:
My brother once dated a girl in high school and she wouldn't let him go out anywhere with his friends so one day my brother couldn't go to Missoula with us because his girlfriend would have gotten mad at him if he did and I felt mad at my brother for letting him control him. Why doesn't she just come too you know? What was stopping her? My brothers were having their friends come along too and she didn't want him going with us. Nope I will never let anyone treat me that way and my brother dodged a bullet when they broke up. He tried to stay friends but she kept on going "hey we are getting along, we should get back together" and he started to avoid her after a while because she kept on bringing it up and he had made it clear they were done. She did become a crazy ex because she came to my house and trashed his bedroom and her intention was to get his attention so he would call her and ask her to help him clean it up but instead he called his new friend who is a girl and she found out and got mad. Then she was bragging about what she did to my brother only for a rumor to start and everyone thought she was crazy because they thought she broke his window, slashed his mattress, etc. and everyone was telling my brother good thing he broke up with her because she is nuts. I was harsh about it because I told my mom my brother should just leave it alone and let kids think whatever because it serves her right but my mom didn't agree and said she just needed counseling so she was telling my brother he needs to go to school and tell everyone what really happened. But even then I didn't care for controllers and abusers and didn't want to be near them but it was ironic I got into a relationship with one and didn't realize it. But I wouldn't let him dictate who I can talk to online. I wouldn't let him control me either so I would wait until he was gone before I would talk to my parents on the phone so he couldn't get mad at me about it and butt in and want to know what we talked about. I let him call me self centered and not give in. It was as if I was defiant because I wouldn't let him control me. I thought he was paranoid anyway. I added that to my red flag list, too paranoid.


You should be able to talk to your Ma without someone butting in - that's not what I mean. If you are on the phone talking with a guy, then I would begin to question what is going on.


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I'm happiness challenged.

Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 83 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 153 of 200 You are very likely neurotypical
Darn, I flunked.


wilburforce
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Posts: 1,940

11 Jan 2017, 9:36 pm

MsV wrote:
Just a quick thanks to all of you. Though I would have a total shutdown when I first posted, just driving myself insane doubting myself and whether or not I did one/multiple things / everything wrong.

You made me feel like I wasnt alone. Like its ok to have boundaries and preferences and in short individuality. In a way have me the strength to stand by them. So thanks. It helped more than you know.

Now I'm proud I stood by my convictions for once.
I just wish he would leave me alone...


Having personal boundaries is very healthy, and the whole point of being an individual is that you get to decide what they are for you, based on what you are comfortable with and what you aren't; after that it's just up to you to express yourself honestly so other people can know what your boundaries are and can respect them. You can choose to accommodate people in your life who don't respect your boundaries, or you can choose not to and to let those people who don't respect your boundaries know that. That's what it means to be autonomous.


_________________
"Ego non immanis, sed mea immanis telum." ~ Ares, God of War

(Note to Moderators: my warning number is wrong on my profile but apparently can't be fixed so I will note here that it is actually 2, not 3--the warning issued to me on Aug 20 2016 was a mistake but I've been told it can't be removed.)


Alliekit
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11 Jan 2017, 10:24 pm

MsV wrote:
Just a quick thanks to all of you. Though I would have a total shutdown when I first posted, just driving myself insane doubting myself and whether or not I did one/multiple things / everything wrong.

You made me feel like I wasnt alone. Like its ok to have boundaries and preferences and in short individuality. In a way have me the strength to stand by them. So thanks. It helped more than you know.

Now I'm proud I stood by my convictions for once.
I just wish he would leave me alone...


The main thing is don't do anything you are not comfortable with

Also have you made it clear your not interested and he need to back off?