Overcoming problems with intimacy?

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I've discovered over the last few years I have significant problems with intimacy and closeness. I actually have no problem getting dates or talking to people. I have good conversation skills as long as it's one on one or small groups. I even have a pretty active sex life. However, I seem to be unable to "connect" with people, and on the very rare occasions when I do, it makes me extremely uncomfortable and is overwhelming for me. Apparently this is a somewhat common thing in aspies... I think my life experiences are probably a bigger factor for me though because of the abuse, neglect, and loss I've experienced.

Whatever the contributing reasons are, intimacy is a major struggle for me and is not something I can just reason my out of. I'm wondering if anyone here has experienced the same, especially if anyone here has overcome such issues and gone on to get married etc. That seems like a near impossibility for me right now. I'm 28.

Thanks.

Hi there, i am a female aspie and I can totally relate. I have no problems with conversation and physical intimacy but emotional intimacy I find entirely overwhelming, even if I really like the person. I have recently started dating a really nice guy but I keep wanting to push away when he opens up emotionally and find myself frusrated and fatigued when I can't quite work out or verbalise exactly what I am feeling.

I'd say there are ways to work on it. Counselling may help, it has helped in the past for me. And being open and honest with the person you're close to, explaining as best as you can , i have simply told him that emotions are difficult for me and I need time to process things. He has been understanding even if he does not entirely understand how my brain functions when it comes to emotions.

Hope this has helped and you are definitely not the only one who has this!