Is it possible in a romantic relationship ND/NT that if you start off with good communication, that you can avoid the complete meltdown of relationships that I read about happening?
I'm afraid of going farther in my relationship because I don't know if what I have experienced with him is real and what is not real. If he is doing what he thinks he should be doing and hiding himself.
I can see that we communicate differently and have misunderstandings where we both read each other wrong. I'm also finding myself hiding and doing things that are not normally how I would do things bc I don't know how to read him.
I'm working on improving the communication from my side and he's receptive, but it's going to take me a while to improve. I think he tries really hard in ways that he is comfortable with such as expression by doing things for me.
Since dating is an evaluation, I look at it as how will I know if I can really be ok and he can be ok with me, unless our real behaviors and personalities are out on the table. I think this is why in the long term so many of these relationships implode, they didn't really know each other. How do I encourage him to put himself out there for evaluation when at the same time communicate what I need which he in turn might modify (and maybe can modify?).
My concern grows over hearing more of the details of his ex, bc there is extreme anger and they are fighting in court. He basically thinks she is crazy and made up lies about him, spread around lies about him to others, and she has stolen and cheated him. I don't hear any insight about his part in it. I understand he is extremely hurt, but it scares me that if hurt he could hurt me.
18 Apr 2017, 7:21 am
