Having/had nervous breakdown over a cute girl at work

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Been working with a very attractive girl that I am attracted to and am already fantasizing about in my mind. I have a hard time keeping eye contact with her when talking to her and am not even looking at her because she is wearing some good yoga pants. At first I was not nervous until for some reason over time I started getting nervous and even getting triggers about how bad/inadequate I am with girls. I don't get much interaction with girls period and I am trying to talk to her but am trying to be careful to not hit on her or complement her.

She's cute and I searched her up on facebook. I posted on my facebook that I was getting triggers just being around this girl and my friend bluntly told me to take that post down as it seemed very desperate. I'm just nervous around attractive girls. Trying to not get into trouble and trying not to look stupid talking to her. I've gotten into trouble at work over girls too.

Not sure should I talk to her or should I just limit my interaction with her. Is it normal to be very nervous around women with Aspergers? I just know that I have a hard time talking to attractive women and I try not to ask too many questions and I try not to appear creepy and stuff around girls.

What's with the aversion to complimenting girls? There's nothing wrong with that. Just keep it appropriate is all. "I just love what those jeans do to your @$$" is just a touch over the top, for example. "Wow...love the color of your dress, really brings out the color in your eyes" works better, but most of the time be generous, keep them genuine and brief.

Not appearing creepy is a challenge, I'll admit. Personally, I embrace that quality in myself and don't worry about it. The more people spend time with you, the creep factor will wear off. It's a process, so don't try to force it.

And yes, the attraction emotions are INTENSE. Learn to just see her as a person. Same for any woman. Make sure you don't get terribly attached to her. If you've seen her at work regularly for a good 2 weeks and have felt at ease talking to her for at least that long, ask her to meet you for lunch or for coffee after work--or just find out what she likes and do that. Any excuse to hang out for an hour after work. Just one time a week kind of thing. In building trust and fostering security, it's best to get several friends together to go out. "Hey, a bunch of us are getting together at ___ later. Meet us there?" will get you a date quicker than "wanna see a movie tomorrow night?" The more open atmosphere will help ease the anxiety, too, as you won't be putting too much pressure on yourself.

As to conversation--people are most attracted to good listeners. Get her talking and don't let her stop. Find out what she likes and keep her going, maybe throw her a rabbit to chase every now and then. She'll think you're the most interesting cat on the planet if you do that. And since you don't have to have to hold your own, you won't feel quite the pressure to be conversational.

http://www.nicknotas.com/blog/the-cultu ... -everyone/


Personally, I say forget it.

When a woman is interested, you will know, even if you are too aspie, it would be too obvious as if it's rubbing on your face.

"Because of their lack of romantic connections, they become desperate. When they do have a rare romantic opportunity, they’re obsessed with keeping that one girl. They’re convinced that they will never get another chance."

Been there. Most of the time I advise to avoid getting attached to any one person, and this is exactly the reason why. Always keep your options open until the time is right for a commitment.

The good news is all relationships WILL eventually end. Good news, because of the fact that our goal is to end up with one person means we reject all but that one.

Folks this issue is irrelevant now because I got fired from that job. Not because I was attracted to her but because of falling asleep during trainings and shifts as well as trying to stay awake with my laptop and DJ equipment.