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crazycoffeeunicorn92
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15 Feb 2017, 1:00 pm

So do any of you girls have probs with ex gfs trying 2 contact ur bf? Heres some back ground on the girls. Girl A: used to be bfs f***girl. My bf was single when they did but she had a bf. He told me she told him she used to do her uncle willingly. When bf & I first started dating she msged him saying she wanted to meet me & hangout. Then she msged him again when his family died in a wreck & said that she was there 4 him. She I worry bout the most she seems like a sneaky slut. Back when he was on a break from another ex he got with her to piss other girl off. Awhile back he bumped into her when we were at the store with me there & they were talking for 5-10 mins while I was there. It was like I didnt exist & he didnt even introduce me. He didnt tell me it was her until we left the store. Now Girl B sent him a friend request that all I know bout her. She may have good intentions. Girl C was bfs ex fiance. She cheated on them when they were engaged & took all his stuff & sold it. Hes friends with her family still which is ok with me & can't stand her. She msged my friend wanting to know how my bf was doing back when I was pregnant. Also one time I went to the store she worked didnt think she still worked there & she followed me around like a creeper. I guess she was trying 2 get a look at my belly since I was preggo. Now Girl D msged my bf yesterday he dated her like 10yrs ago. She said he popped up in the suggestions for messaging & she wondered how he was doing. That may truly happened & she may have good intentions but I call bs. What girl would msg an ex they havent talked to in 10yrs on Vday. I think she made the suggestion thing up as an excuse 2 talk 2 him. I trust my bf but I dont trust these girls bcuz he tends to date crazies. He thinks they all have good intentions. We have a no talking 2 exes policy in our relationship. One time I told him I passed an ex in the store but I didnt talk to him & my bf got all jealous & said that I prob talked to him which I found ironic since this happened after he saw & talked 2 Girl A at the store with me right there. Opinions girls. He always tells me these girls msg him. I dont normally sneak into his phone but when I do its just to see what these girls say. Then I delete their msgs or requests. I dont reply to them bcuz I dont want to start a fight & plus my bf will prob find out somehow I msged them back if I do.



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15 Feb 2017, 1:16 pm

So he can be involved with however many other women and exes he wants, and be ok with that but you can't merely pass an ex at the store without him making a big thing of it. Also just because they messege him doesn't mean he has to respond to them,or go out of his way to talk to them for 10 minutes without even acknowledging you're still there. It is pretty inconsiderate of him. And does he really think it is a good idea to invite someone who stole his stuff back into his life especially if he's with you...what if she comes and steals your stuff?

Perhaps you should have a serious talk with him, tell him he's being inconsiderate by spending so much time talking to his exes and that he should stop. Even bring up how he wouldn't like it if you did it to him, based on his reaction to simply passing one of your exes at the store...maybe don't go as far as calling him a hypocrite(though that is what he is being), but tell him to think of how he'd feel if you were pre-occupied with talking to your exes all the time.


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italiangirl
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15 Feb 2017, 1:23 pm

I am not sure I have understood everything of your message because I am not mothertongue and not even that young to know all the abbreviations you use.
What I know is that who contacts your boyfriend should not be of any interest for you. Your only interest is how your byfriend will eventually react to their messages.
If he loves you and respects you he will probably be polite but he won't see them as an occasion to cheat on you or to go back to one of his exes.
If he does, well you will have the proof that he doesn't respect you or that he doesn't love you anymore.
In both cases, it is better for you to discover it than to keep staying with somebody who doesnt' love you, don't you think?

So, don't worry if these girls contact your boyfriend. Just worry about what he will eventually do.

I am sure that, if he really loves you, he won't even consider those girls as a possibility to have fun or date.



crazycoffeeunicorn92
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15 Feb 2017, 2:11 pm

He dont ever reply to them. My question is has this ever happened to you before & what did you do would do in my situation? I already asked him bout the grocery store incident he said he would get mad too & that he was sorry & was just being polite.if i had known that girl at store was Girl A i would have listened closer to their convo & got a good look at her. What do you think are Girl As intentions or motives? I dont care about any other girls most worried bout her. They sure were laughing and them asking each other questions. I dont remember what bout.



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15 Feb 2017, 2:39 pm

crazycoffeeunicorn92 wrote:
He dont ever reply to them. My question is has this ever happened to you before & what did you do would do in my situation? I already asked him bout the grocery store incident he said he would get mad too & that he was sorry & was just being polite.if i had known that girl at store was Girl A i would have listened closer to their convo & got a good look at her. What do you think are Girl As intentions or motives? I dont care about any other girls most worried bout her. They sure were laughing and them asking each other questions. I dont remember what bout.


I've never had this happen to me but,

Perhaps he needs to block their numbers and block them from facebook, maybe change his phone number. If they are trying to talk to you to check up on him, tell them to back off and that its an invasion of privacy to try and keep tabs on your boyfriend especially when they are trying to use you to do it. Sounds like these exes are behaving kind of stalkerish, so either you or your boyfriend or both of you may have to confront them more directly about it and tell them straight up to stop and leave you and him alone....that is what I'd do.


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Last edited by Sweetleaf on 15 Feb 2017, 2:53 pm, edited 2 times in total.

Aaendi
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15 Feb 2017, 2:48 pm

Probably, it got on my nerves when my ex-girlfriend wanted to get back into a relationship really badly, and I ended up dating 2 girls at once for a while.



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15 Feb 2017, 2:53 pm

Aaendi wrote:
Probably, it got on my nerves when my ex-girlfriend wanted to get back into a relationship really badly, and I ended up dating 2 girls at once for a while.


So wait you got back into a relationship with your ex-girlfriend whilst you were with a new girlfriend? seems a rather strange response to being fed up about an ex wanting to get back with you...or am I misunderstanding.


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15 Feb 2017, 2:54 pm

crazycoffeeunicorn92 wrote:
So do any of you girls have probs with ex gfs trying 2 contact ur bf? Heres some back ground on the girls. Girl A: used to be bfs f***girl. My bf was single when they did but she had a bf. He told me she told him she used to do her uncle willingly. When bf & I first started dating she msged him saying she wanted to meet me & hangout. Then she msged him again when his family died in a wreck & said that she was there 4 him. She I worry bout the most she seems like a sneaky slut. Back when he was on a break from another ex he got with her to piss other girl off. Awhile back he bumped into her when we were at the store with me there & they were talking for 5-10 mins while I was there. It was like I didnt exist & he didnt even introduce me. He didnt tell me it was her until we left the store. Now Girl B sent him a friend request that all I know bout her. She may have good intentions. Girl C was bfs ex fiance. She cheated on them when they were engaged & took all his stuff & sold it. Hes friends with her family still which is ok with me & can't stand her. She msged my friend wanting to know how my bf was doing back when I was pregnant. Also one time I went to the store she worked didnt think she still worked there & she followed me around like a creeper. I guess she was trying 2 get a look at my belly since I was preggo. Now Girl D msged my bf yesterday he dated her like 10yrs ago. She said he popped up in the suggestions for messaging & she wondered how he was doing. That may truly happened & she may have good intentions but I call bs. What girl would msg an ex they havent talked to in 10yrs on Vday. I think she made the suggestion thing up as an excuse 2 talk 2 him. I trust my bf but I dont trust these girls bcuz he tends to date crazies. He thinks they all have good intentions. We have a no talking 2 exes policy in our relationship. One time I told him I passed an ex in the store but I didnt talk to him & my bf got all jealous & said that I prob talked to him which I found ironic since this happened after he saw & talked 2 Girl A at the store with me right there. Opinions girls. He always tells me these girls msg him. I dont normally sneak into his phone but when I do its just to see what these girls say. Then I delete their msgs or requests. I dont reply to them bcuz I dont want to start a fight & plus my bf will prob find out somehow I msged them back if I do.


proper hypocritical of him to get so jealous about your exe while at the same time talking to his exes



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15 Feb 2017, 3:09 pm

Alliekit wrote:
crazycoffeeunicorn92 wrote:
So do any of you girls have probs with ex gfs trying 2 contact ur bf? Heres some back ground on the girls. Girl A: used to be bfs f***girl. My bf was single when they did but she had a bf. He told me she told him she used to do her uncle willingly. When bf & I first started dating she msged him saying she wanted to meet me & hangout. Then she msged him again when his family died in a wreck & said that she was there 4 him. She I worry bout the most she seems like a sneaky slut. Back when he was on a break from another ex he got with her to piss other girl off. Awhile back he bumped into her when we were at the store with me there & they were talking for 5-10 mins while I was there. It was like I didnt exist & he didnt even introduce me. He didnt tell me it was her until we left the store. Now Girl B sent him a friend request that all I know bout her. She may have good intentions. Girl C was bfs ex fiance. She cheated on them when they were engaged & took all his stuff & sold it. Hes friends with her family still which is ok with me & can't stand her. She msged my friend wanting to know how my bf was doing back when I was pregnant. Also one time I went to the store she worked didnt think she still worked there & she followed me around like a creeper. I guess she was trying 2 get a look at my belly since I was preggo. Now Girl D msged my bf yesterday he dated her like 10yrs ago. She said he popped up in the suggestions for messaging & she wondered how he was doing. That may truly happened & she may have good intentions but I call bs. What girl would msg an ex they havent talked to in 10yrs on Vday. I think she made the suggestion thing up as an excuse 2 talk 2 him. I trust my bf but I dont trust these girls bcuz he tends to date crazies. He thinks they all have good intentions. We have a no talking 2 exes policy in our relationship. One time I told him I passed an ex in the store but I didnt talk to him & my bf got all jealous & said that I prob talked to him which I found ironic since this happened after he saw & talked 2 Girl A at the store with me right there. Opinions girls. He always tells me these girls msg him. I dont normally sneak into his phone but when I do its just to see what these girls say. Then I delete their msgs or requests. I dont reply to them bcuz I dont want to start a fight & plus my bf will prob find out somehow I msged them back if I do.


proper hypocritical of him to get so jealous about your exe while at the same time talking to his exes


Do as I say, not as I do. :wink:


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crazycoffeeunicorn92
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15 Feb 2017, 3:18 pm

Yeah I already made him block Girl A on fb. I know she has some ulterior motive wish I knew what exactly. They dont have his phone number nor have they contacted him by phone. I just have this prob on fb. I think she either wants to have an affair with him or a 3sum. Because when she first contacted him when we first got together she said she wanted to meet me and that we all should hangout. My guess is she either wanted to befriend me and then pretend shes my friend so she can get him alone so she can make a move on him or 3sum. I know he said one of the girls he dated was bi but idk which one but my guess is that one. Something seems "off"



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16 Feb 2017, 8:19 am

I've had the problem before, many of my female friends had the problem before, it's quite a common problem when it comes to relationships. I wouldn't put up with it though, I would literally break up with him if this problem occurred more than once because it's not worth the stress and worry when you could have another guy probably even better and wouldn't dare even think of doing that. These exes should be blocked already. All that stuff people say about staying in friendships with their exes is just nonsense, they're only doing it because they still have feelings but can't admit it or just trying to have some long winded "my life is better than yours" battle over facebook. :roll:

He seems insecure and immature. What f*****g serious boyfriend doesn't introduce you to people? That's a mess on his part.

Like if his ex was such a bastard to him then why would he even dare reply, especially if you have that policy? Unless he likes talking to all these girls to prove to himself he's some stallion through his own insecurity but only staying with you because he probs wouldn't get another relationship so you're like his safety girl if cheating/flirting backfires?

Honestly if you're paranoid about him flirting or talking to his exes then I don't think it's worth it anyway - if he's given you reason to worry, which he has multiple times, then I don't think it's worth being in a relationship with him because it's unnecessary stress for you and it's not fair on you at all. Tell him to fix his s**t or you're gone. Put your foot down and don't let someone make a dickhead out of you. There's plenty of nice guys out there, you don't have to stick with a guy who's a dick, even if you have kids with them. Maybe try going to a womens refuge centre to get some proper professional advice.

Also, any girl trying to get back in contact with their ex - ESPECIALLY on Valentines day of all days is super disrespectful to you and sort of a bitchy dig at you - definitely has an ulterior motive and if it was me I wouldn't put up with it, I'd tell him to block/delete and if he refused then you know he still has feelings for them which is even worse and even more reason to get rid of him and find someone better.

I hope you come to some sort of resolution sweetheart, all the best.


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16 Feb 2017, 1:13 pm

^ Not only between exes and partners is BS.

I think any kind of friendship between single people of opposite sex and partners is not possible.

Pure and simple.



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16 Feb 2017, 4:36 pm

OP, please read the rules before posting further. Cross posting is forbidden here, so I have locked this duplicate thread:
viewtopic.php?f=27&t=337257&p=7462445#p7462445



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18 Feb 2017, 11:36 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
^ Not only between exes and partners is BS.

I think any kind of friendship between single people of opposite sex and partners is not possible.

Pure and simple.


Depends, asexual/aromantic people seem to get on fine regardless of gender. I think that's a whole other rabbit hole of confusing theories though.

Couples usually get on well enough but even then there's probably some leeway for minor attraction. I half agree.


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27 Feb 2017, 1:51 am

crazycoffeeunicorn92 wrote:
So do any of you girls have probs with ex gfs trying 2 contact ur bf? Heres some back ground on the girls. Girl A: used to be bfs f***girl. My bf was single when they did but she had a bf.


I wouldn't date a man who would sleep with a woman who has a boyfriend.

crazycoffeeunicorn92 wrote:
He told me she told him she used to do her uncle willingly.


I wouldn't date a man who would date or sleep with a woman who willingly commits incest.

crazycoffeeunicorn92 wrote:
When bf & I first started dating she msged him saying she wanted to meet me & hangout. Then she msged him again when his family died in a wreck & said that she was there 4 him. She I worry bout the most she seems like a sneaky slut.


I wouldn't date a man of such low moral integrity that I would have to worry about him falling for "sneaky sluts".

crazycoffeeunicorn92 wrote:
Back when he was on a break from another ex he got with her to piss other girl off.


I wouldn't date a man who has revenge sex, or actively seeks revenge against an ex, and I would not date a man who is low enough to involve an innocent person in this manner.

crazycoffeeunicorn92 wrote:
Awhile back he bumped into her when we were at the store with me there & they were talking for 5-10 mins while I was there. It was like I didnt exist & he didnt even introduce me. He didnt tell me it was her until we left the store. Now Girl B sent him a friend request that all I know bout her. She may have good intentions. Girl C was bfs ex fiance. She cheated on them when they were engaged & took all his stuff & sold it. Hes friends with her family still which is ok with me & can't stand her. She msged my friend wanting to know how my bf was doing back when I was pregnant. Also one time I went to the store she worked didnt think she still worked there & she followed me around like a creeper. I guess she was trying 2 get a look at my belly since I was preggo. Now Girl D msged my bf yesterday he dated her like 10yrs ago. She said he popped up in the suggestions for messaging & she wondered how he was doing. That may truly happened & she may have good intentions but I call bs. What girl would msg an ex they havent talked to in 10yrs on Vday. I think she made the suggestion thing up as an excuse 2 talk 2 him. I trust my bf but I dont trust these girls bcuz he tends to date crazies.


No, I think you don't trust your boyfriend, and he is a crazy.

crazycoffeeunicorn92 wrote:
He thinks they all have good intentions. We have a no talking 2 exes policy in our relationship. One time I told him I passed an ex in the store but I didnt talk to him & my bf got all jealous & said that I prob talked to him which I found ironic since this happened after he saw & talked 2 Girl A at the store with me right there.


He's also a massive hypocrite, probably because he's worried you will cheat, probably because he himself would and has. This is speculation of course, but typically those who fear their partner will cheat the most, are those who are the most likely to cheat on their partner. But he is a hypocrite....I wouldn't date a man who was a hypocrite.

crazycoffeeunicorn92 wrote:
Opinions girls. He always tells me these girls msg him. I dont normally sneak into his phone but when I do its just to see what these girls say. Then I delete their msgs or requests. I dont reply to them bcuz I dont want to start a fight & plus my bf will prob find out somehow I msged them back if I do.


Is this how you are going to live your life with your boyfriend? Constantly checking his phone and deleting messages from ex's because you are so worried he will cheat? Personally I don't care for this type of drama in relationships. I wouldn't date someone I didn't trust and I wouldn't stay with someone I came to not trust. I would not waste my energy to try to prevent them from cheating. If an ex came on to him and he cheated, he would simply not be the man for me and I would leave him and find someone better.



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27 Feb 2017, 1:54 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
^ Not only between exes and partners is BS.

I think any kind of friendship between single people of opposite sex and partners is not possible.

Pure and simple.


Most of my friends are of the opposite sex. I'm fairly certain most of them are not interested in dating me.