I'm the worst

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I have this guy I love but he doesn't love me back but he wants to be friend and often I start dramas out of nothing and things get out of control

I have a very weird mood sometimes, I understand some minor thing wrong and then I can't go back and when I see we are arguing I feel bad because he had an important day today and I ruined it when he came to tell me

that's why nobody will never love me

I don't think you actually love him because when you love someone you respect them, and it doesn't sound like you respect him. Perhaps you are infatuated with him. Anyway this does not sound like a healthy or viable relationship, and it would probably be in the best interest of both parties to part ways.

^ OP, you were just being accused of being a "Nice Girl".

That seriously is the worse compliment a guy can give a woman in my opinion. I'd rather them be brutally honest and tell me why they dislike me. Makes it easier for me to comprehend.

As for the OP I'm similar to you. I find it best if I distance or distract myself with something for a while then I find I'm a better friend in the long run.

Well, we men no longer like "Nice girls" , with a capital N.


We had literally thousands of threads and posts here by women complaining and criticizing Nice Guys (they never seem to understand that love may grow toward a friend with time even if there was no attraction at the very start, so they accuse the guys being malice and acting as friends from the very start in order to get into girls' pants- and they don't seem to understand that love hormones may make one irrational.).

This thread is special though because for the first time the gender are reversed.

I am going to be like the female users here, and criticize the "Nice Girls" sharply. I ll be do the same narrative.

Last edited by The_Face_of_Boo on 21 Mar 2017, 4:31 am, edited 1 time in total.

Well, maybe they do find you like a nice girl, but...it's totally forbidden for you to express the slightest anger and frustration here on WP against the guy you like, who sees you as a friend, because that would make you a "Nice Girl".

Also, even if this guy showed you plenty of signs of interests,....hell even if he kissed you before, yet he rejected you and told you he just thinks of you as a friend and as a nice girl, then it's also totally forbidden for you to be angry or frustrated; otherwise you would be labeled as a "Nice Girl".

No means no, ladies, you get that? And if you are real friends then you should just shut down your love feelings and just remain friends with the guy as if nothing happened.

Otherwise, you're "Nice Girls". "Nice Girls" finish last.

/ReversedTypicalNiceGuyNarrative.

I'm sorry if I sound like I'm complaining about him :/ I'm actually not... he is a nice and caring friend, the whole situation is so messed up and he is honestly trying to help me out of it. He was clear about the things he dislike about me as a love interest (this sort of moody behavior is one of the reasons)... and I feel because of this love thing I'm being an awful friend and even worsening any chance of him loving me back (which I admit it isn't a healthy hope to keep but I can't dismiss it yet :/ I'm really afraid sometimes I was pushy with him but he was the one who started pushing some border on sex related stuff...)


ugh
it's all very complicated and messy
and I never had interest in any other guy so I don't know how it works
but I don't really want to sound like I'm putting all this blame on him

A Nice Guy is someone who is nice to someone in order to get sex or a relationship and that is theit sole purpose. This girl is being the opposite so I have no idea what you are rambling about. Also yea Nice Girls exist to its not some grand secret.

Read the room this isn't the place for you to be trying to prove a point and making a person feel s**t about themselves.


@Itcvnzl it sounds to me like you don't know how to handle you emotions so you react in confusion and in a defensive way. I would try to relax an focus on those feelings to figure our what they are and how to deal with them in a healthy manner. Remember autism can make it difficult for people to express emotions properly so it's not that you are a bad person just a confused one

Maybe it's worth talking to him and apologising. Explain to him that you need a little distance just to sort out your feelings bur still want to remain friends with him

Raising the level of the debate, thereby?

ltcvnzl, have you been getting good nutrition? You may need to work to stay calm and focused around people you like, if you have a tendency to freak out when things seem like they should make you happy.

It sounds to me like you're acting like a spoiled brat, and punishing him because he won't love you back----but, I wouldn't say that no one will ever love you; just, maybe, not until you grow-up.

@the_Face_of_Boo I think is unfair what you said, and this gender war is very unproductive for both sides, I don't support it and it's unfair that you're using me for your frustration with some woman who is unfair to some guys. :/


@Alliekit I totally don't know how to handle my feelings, that's why I often avoid contact with people or keep it very superficial. I don't even know how I connected with him so much, but them it just expose both us to this weird feelings and is really difficult :/ I already tried this to have a break, then it just kept for two days because I'm weak But I think when we keep less contact, it's better for both us and the contact we keep increase the quality... maybe this is the way to go.

@jrjones9933 I'm trying to get more activities to do so I'll stay more busy with other things and maybe will have less space for this weird feelings. The difficult thing is that I'm surrounded people I don't much (and they don't like me back) because of university and I can't quit it anymore :/ That's even why things go too intense between me and him: he is basically a refuge. :/

@Campin_Cat although I think it was a harsh thing you said, it maybe be true. I'm not proud of it and I'm not doing this because I want :/ I just never loved anyone else neither had a close friend :/

Nope, not really, according to the typical Nice Guy narrative here, a Nice Guy is a guy who, was always behaving as a nice guy with the lady, but after rejection he expressed anger or frustration against her. And therefore get accused, by the narrative-parrots as a fake nice guy, aka Nice Guy.

So the OP fits that narrative too.

Last edited by The_Face_of_Boo on 21 Mar 2017, 6:12 pm, edited 2 times in total.

Ok ok fine, I digress...... but to be fair, it's not a matter of some woman, but a matter of plenty of women, plenty of women everywhere on the net repeat this same old narrative; like parrots.
If you read between the lines, I was attacking this narrative rather than attacking you, it was a satire.

ok

Well perhaps this isn't the place for that, there are plenty of other threads on that topic. Every one doesn't need to be derailed with it especially if its someones personal situation.

Ok.... but I ll keep watching you how you will reply in those other threads to come .

"I see you" (|)