My life as an adult relationships

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Hi,

Everyday for years I have worried how I would cope without my parents. When I was younger I used to pray I would die before them, or my other comforting thought was by the time they were old scientists would have figured out how people can live forever.

Welll I guess we are getting nearer that time and there is no elixir of life available I don't have a life at all and I feel like I am a total waste of space. My animals are the only thing that give me a drive to live because they need me and they can't look after themselves and I love them.

I don't interact with anyone other than my parents, my parents are now saying within the next 5 years they will search everywhere to find me a boyfriend no matter who he is. The problem is I don't know if I would want one in my head the only reason it would be good is yes if my parents died I wouldn't be alone. Other than that I don't know. I have never felt what people call "Sexual Attraction" I have never liked a boy, man, woman or girl, I have never even masturbated or watched porn infact I have never watched sex scenes on a DVD I skip them as I am bored by it. The thought of it is kind of worrying, like I said I don't think I would actually like someone other than so I wasn't lonely but then I would want them to be interedted in my interests which they wouldn't be. I don't think I could share my room or my bed, I don't think I could stop doing my own thing while at home long enough to be with said boyfriend. Like I said I haave never felt interested in a boyfriend I wouldn't even know what I was attracted to.

The problem is like my parents said they are getting older and I am going to get lonlier. I don't know what to do and I feel like a freak when everyone you see has a relationship and here I am a complete virgin that includes my body, my eyes (porn/movies) and my mind (never had dirty thoughts etc).

I don't think I could cope without my parents and this whole thing feels like a mess and I don't know how I should feel about the opposite sex.

Could you not get a friend instead of a partner who you get on well with and be room mates with them for example. Not everyone now days want to settle down so there is that option. So what aare your interests is there any groups for them? It sounds you need a friend rather than a partner. You could always live with me when your parents die, I like animals! Plus I'll give you a ton of space when needed

It sounds like you don't experience sexual attraction(asexual) & probably don't experience romantic attraction(aromantic). There are other people like that out there & there is a forum for asexuals called AVEN & there is a friendship site for asexuals http://www.ace-book.net/ incase it would help to have a sense of community or anything. I 2nd amykitten's advice about trying to get a friend instead. You shouldn't have a boyfriend if the only reason you would want one is because your worried about what will happen to you when your parents die. It wouldn't be fair to you or him unless he''s also asexual & aromantic & your just like best friends but call yourself boyfriend & girlfriend to avoid social stigma &/or please your parents.