Dating websites - mental tradegy of 21st century

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These dating websites are huge pitfalls of mental health due to excessive use of computers and phones combining addiction. I used to have profiles online and my mind stuck in searching women to find someone to have c chat with. It seems that is a desperate strategy. Men tend to dominate while females dominate their decisions of choosing a partner.

The world before online dating came it doesn't seem affected old fashioned. People interact in reality sharing social human connection. Being online you can't feel a same.

I find Meetups and social sports/clubs/common interest out in your community doing the works better than online. The difference is you don't know who is single nor wanting to date. I think we should stick up and be brave to ask a women out rather than seeing her as single with a profile online.

Real dates with real people is best.

Agreed, I'm simply not much of a fan of the online dating system and will likely abstain from using dating sites in the coming years. It simply seems designed in such a way that my eccentric, introverted aspie self would despise it, not very organic at all.

Yes, about the same as people above!

I have never had any succes with online dating sites, while eg in sport clubs or other hobby clubs I meet regularly girls that are interested in me and are very friendly.

As a funny example, I was sparring with a girl in a kick-box/mma class and we had to do a take-down exercise. So I dropped down on one knee and said "Haha, it looks like I'm proposing to [girl's name]!", as a joke. I noticed that this touched her emotionally, and probably would have liked it if I had ment it for real. Unfortunately I don't know or am not so skilled in developing such an initial succes.

The OP is true about dating sites but.....I only had success through it.

I guess there's only one girl who liked me via offline means.

I found interesting articles, by comparison from my perspectives on relationship differences and mental health. People aren't being themselves, pressured by society influence and tried to be like someone.

The Appeal and the Risks of Rebound Relationships
When every partner is "the One," until the next one.
Posted Nov 14, 2014
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/fi ... ationships

The Ugly Truth About Online Dating
Are we sacrificing love for convenience?
Posted Sep 06, 2016
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/th ... ine-dating

They are very interesting articles. Psychologists have been trying to help people, especially young for many years but they let themselves get out of control because of mainstream society and media influences on peoples' thoughts. They try to act like what they are seen that would be their ideal.

Look at some of the lawsuits, pertaining to these sites, and all the drama will suddenly make sense.
https://www.bigclassaction.com/settleme ... action.php

In my experience, they are 90% spambots. In my younger years, I was still gullible. I wondered whether seomeone was contacting me, from out of area. I would ask the spambot, where it was from. I would tell a spambot, you have found me on accident, you are from out of state, and encounter a paywall.

Assuming that you do get a live human, on the line, there is no more social contract,as to what is a marriage / household. Totally deconstructed, so not one customary expectation, not one guarantee, is left remaining. It is considered rude, to virtue signal, to say want the normal things.

If such a thing as a normal still exists, the sparse responses come from pic collectors, time wasters, and the occasional, dangerous person, in the news. Google some of the names and numbers of people responding to you (if you get that far. You would think there are no more people left on planet Earth.)They are not shameful, make no attempts at concealing their past.

So, typically my expectations would be for a generically-white female, in her fertile years. I had some 70-ish year old lady, insulting my appearance, from 100 miles away. There was a male sex offender, living on the outskirts of town, away from children. Works in a homewares store. A morbidly obese Mexican guy, using the picture of a large breasted woman, coming out of a swimming pool. One respondent (who actually lived in town) was the subject of a newspaper story, in which he invites someone home from a bar, and kills the person. (Guess you can get out of jail for that, in a few, short years, go online, and invite people to your house, again.) These people are using listed phonenumbers and public Email addresses, linked to social media accounts. There is no skill involved, in discovering this.

Typically, if you have reasonable manners, and some purpose for actually interacting with someone, in-person, some venue, niche interest, or something to do. you can meet new people. It involves going out, in public, running your own errands, or visiting attractions, nearby, being mindful of your appearances.

I'm not having any luck with the dating sites either.

This makes me think it cost more to get a relationship today than in the past. Old fashioned meeting up and asking someone out is priceless. Today you have to pay for a sex worker and have to pay the services to gain access to contact. I know sex industry been long time but dating websites adds more financial and mental obstacles and challenges.

I think society forced us to do this and it all seems quite unhappy nature.

I just think that the concepts of romance and love have been largely defamed in our materialistic society that praises casual sex and one-night stands. With the advent of dating sites something that is beautiful has been turned into a rather boring systematic process.

Yes you are right. Systematic process. It like people become like others because they think it make themselves happy. Unfortunately lot of people fall into this crap trap. The materialistic approach seems ruining innocent lives albeit alcohol, drugs, sexualisation and stigma of unprivileged.

I don't bother using them at all. The way I see it you'd have much more success being flirty with girls in an on-line multi-player game or some sort of gaming chat-room (like on Kongregate)... provided of course that they're not actually just being some sort of G.I.R.L. Especially the chat-rooms with very high female-to-male population-ratio.

But that's no longer socially ok. A lot of ways people got together in the past are now seen as creepy and stalkerish.

Dating sites exist in their current form for the same reason electronic shavers and tooth brushes exist. convenience and less time consuming. Turns men into objects to be window shopped though.

For me it's more I'm unable to interact with women in public in a way that would ever lead to a date. But I could talk to women on dating sites.

Society has turned dating into financial partnerships with a if you make less its over clause. It's not about love in most cases anymore.

All dating sites are 70 to 90% populated by males in term of REAL users; their "official" stats on demographics are all lies that include "female" fakes.

So the dating sites owners' main goal is to keep the males hooked on a false hope, the more they stay on it the more profit for them; and that's why they hire people whom their missions is to populate them with female fake profiles, but despite all that, males' count still much higher.

It is for that reason, dating sites always remove previous features or hide any information that expose the real sex ratios: Because they don't want to make the males realize how futile it is, they don't want to lose their biggest user base.


For example, in the old Okcpuid, I recall well there was a small widget that shows the total count of Men and total count of Women online now, this was totally removed in the newer versions.

Another good example, on the first versions of Tinder you were able to see the "Last seen online" on profiles, you would have noticed most women's profiles weren't active for weeks/months; they hid that too on all the newer Tinder releases (Android, iOS, Desktop..etc).
And they chase anyone who creates a workaround on this, like flamite https://outirl.com/

Why? Because they are trying SO hard to hide this information from the male users, this knowledge is an immediate threat to their business - they don't want them discover that they're swiping on ghosts.

Also Tinder is so full of obvious fakes, I live in the Middle East - Lebanon, yet I have seen plenty of blonde girls in my location- with hot Instagram photos, with one line of info like "University of Arizona" - what?

Yet, you don't have to accept that everything is about casual sex and one-night stands and that a proper courtship is a waste of time. There are still women that want the old-fashioned stuff, and it might even be easier for a male to change his perspective and methods and find suitable women that are not into all that shallow stuff.