Is there something "off" about the way we look?

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Forget social skills. We may be held back by a more fundamental problem. I sometimes catch my reflection in a shop window as I walk by there's something "off" about the way I look and the way I move. Perhaps that's why we have trouble finding a partner. Like we're triggering people's uncanny valley effect.

I do not think there are any physical features related to autism, it could perhaps effect eye/face expression and such but not like different facial features.

It's probably facial expressions. A couple of people told me online that I look mean and scary in some of my pictures. lot of people irl also seem uncomfortable around me.

With me, usually. Most of the time I can be bizarrely focused & quiet, I don't always need a reason. I think that's force of habit. Strangely it's shown me enough perspective on my own 'filters' that in conversations I'm normally more direct & goofy than people would guess.

_________________
"Standing on a well-chilled cinder, we see the fading of the suns, and try to recall the vanished brilliance of the origin of the worlds."
-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos

well i usually look angry when i'm not, especially in bright lighting situations. or i look distant/disengaged. people have said i look unapproachable.
i've also been told i have "resting b***h face -- judgemental subtype" lol.
i'm not particularly judgemental but apparently my face doesn't care.

I do think mental habits, emotions and emotional patterns are often reflected in the body (general body, posture, and facial tension).... e.g. think about how your shoulders get sore if you are nervous or tense. If you do that a lot (i.e. if being tense is a common emotional pattern for you), you develop strong shoulder muscles, and this affects how the whole musculature hangs together, and how your nervous system starts using your musculature. Or think about how people slump when depressed, collapse into a sort of protective stance when scared, etc. Its def not a science, but there are general "vibes" or patterns you can learn to read in posture and musculature.

In my observation, people (both NTs and spectrum) vary widely in their ability to read these stance differences.

And man, autism is a pretty strong trip as far as the mind goes, so imo it should come as no surprise there's a physically recognizable component.

Personally, I very much think there is a posture "smell" to autism, and some people are sensitive to it, mostly subconsciously, and yeah, it probably can have a bit of an uncanny valley effect.

The good news is that some people LIKE it, especially other aspies (esp those who don't hate themselves lol!).... so in some sense you're signalling who you really are, and people can respond to that... hopefully people who really dig you

I do feel like a lot of autistic people look differently than the rest of the population. It's not so much that we're any physically different than everyone else, it's just how we present ourself. I feel like for a lot of autistic people, our demeanor is different and that's how I can usually tell when someone is autistic or not. It's hard to explain but just the way we act and the way we talk, we're a little different then everyone else and because iv'e known loads of people with aspergers in my lifetime, I can pick up on this distinctive demeanor and that's how I can tell who's autistic or not often within minutes of meeting them. In a way, we're like stereotypical nerds.

Myself & an old friend of similar Norse ancesty concluded we both get resting b***h face a lot & we're guys.
... ?

_________________
"Standing on a well-chilled cinder, we see the fading of the suns, and try to recall the vanished brilliance of the origin of the worlds."
-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos

I think a lot of aspies with resting b*tch face are just concentrating really hard, trying to figure out what the right thing to do is Being aspie is like playing reality in hard mode. Hopefully we get extra points or something.

People think I look upset when I'm not cuz I have a resting bastard face. I also move kind awkwardly sometimes. I think my physical disabilities have limited me alot more than my Aspie issues thou but that might be a subject for a different post.