LONG READ: Need help with Aspie girl

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Hello guys im really new to this... for all that matters im ''diagnosed'' with a PDD-NOS but such a mild form that after 4 years of actively putting myself out its not longer noticeable

The best way for me to explain this situation is to write down thing by thing so its gonna be quiet the read.

So i met this Aspie girl at the gym i already had a eye on her for months, so one day i can't remember i started to chat and we did that for 4 weeks, generally she was the one that was talking and me having remembering almost both usefull and useless i did my best to bring these topics back up it clicked i often flirted with her and most of the time she smiled (sometimes fake) she had a little hand gesture she does whenever someone compliments her which she did aswell often, after that i started to do yoga with her she asked me if i wasn't embarased i told her ''nah only guys that are insecure about their sexuality would refuse to do something like this'' she laughed and called me confident, i also made her a few times laugh so she called me funny so last week or the week before that i asked her to add me on snap and let me know how it went with her job search she did and did so, that turned over the weekend into a bit of flirting and just small talk and on monday we worked out together the first time, everything went well and she started to snap me more often and also more flirty,

wednesday we worked out she did me a favor gave me a supplement she was talking about that evening she was at her fathers place and her father couldnt cook so i jokely said i can make you a sandwich and she took em up on that from 20:00 till 3:00 AM she was sitting in my home and we had a deep conversation about her home situation and i told her the truth that a lot of guys at the gym talk smack about her behind her back, at the end she was about to leave and she stick out her arm as if she wanted me to do something like kissing her but she was wearing a helmet so i thaught it was something else me beeing not the best in romance decided to wrap my arm around her,

Thursday day she was snapping me constantly asking what i was doing evantually asked me if i wanted to go sunbath at a beach close to our gym after our workouts i said sure... later that night she sended me some ''Suggestive'' pictures without timer on snap chat i flirted told her it was suggestive but she was really cute, she gave me a wierd emoji which i didnt know what it meant and immediatly apologised to her... she respond it was a blush emoji and i said ''oh im so dumb when it comes to this'' she didnt respond so i said i should probally stop apologising it is probally annoying she said ''yes its indeed really fing annoying'' told her i would do my best to stop apologising

NEXT DAY the big day friday we meet up we do our workout i felt something was off with her... she went home to get a shower and put on her bikini before going to the park but as we cycled away i asked her too hold up but she said ''i dont like biking slowly'' later at the park she didnt really (she did ask me to pull up her bikini lace and maybe did so a little bit to hard as she complained i was ruining her bikini) until the end i was laying down and out of nowhere she went ''i don't want to work out with you anymore...'' i said why? no response asked if i could atleast do together with the yoga because my knees are so bad mumbled, later she went on a full scale rent after saying she was a Aspie, in the rent she said: ''you are really insecure'', ''maybe you should also go to a guidance home'' (A home where they teach autistic people to become self sufficient) told her i cant spend 8 years doing that, ''You are a boy in a mans body'', ''You don't know what you want'', ''you pretend to be someone very sociable without autism but i can see right through that maybe you should stop pretending'' i agreed on that i didnt know what i but told her that the last thing she said about me pretending hit a string, we parted we she head down and me looking at her some small talk... and at our bikes the moment we were about to part this awkward silence came we gazed in eachothers eyes, then i said ''ill snap you later'' went off felt a little mad, then on snap asked her first ''are you made at me'' she said no, then i said ''hey today you hit a pretty senstive string'' didnt even get a boring ''OK'' went on to ask her if i annoyed her or if i was boring to her?

Saturday i asked her how it was going with her attempt to stop smoking, she instantly went defensive and said ''HOW DO YOU MEAN A ATTEMPT?'' i said ''Nerves and stress can lead to fallback'', ''but i believe you'll manage'' she said ''HAHA go bore your mother EINSTEIN'', 'lol'' i said ''That was uncalled for''

After that i spend the next saturday to monday morning researching Aspergers, because i really wanted to atleast be friends with her if my guts were right (which they were)

Monday (Today) she walked into the gym just behind a guy i know, said hi to both she flat out ignored me, told the dude maybe a little too loud ''she flat out ignores me why?'', kept trying to but not so obivious but she kept ignoring me even when she asked if the guy i know and at this point was workign out with if he was done she acted like i didnt excist, she went home asked a few of those guy she considers as friends but talk smack around her back that i have no clue why she is ignoring me and mad asked them if they had encountered this with her before said no, went home noticed she deleted me (Not block when she blocks you on snapchat you will never be able to find her on that account)

Maybe this means i can get a second chance if i figure out what i did to make her mad?

I don't see good things with her. She seems unstable. She seems like she wouldn't be a good friend.

If I were you, I would stop seeing this person. But.... there might be something I don't know which might change my conclusion.

Is there something about her which fascinates you?

Well in the beginning i started talking to her because of those guys who were friends with her we're saying she is ''Wierd dude stay away'' i told them ''no she is such a sweet girl when you get to know her'' and from there i started to interact with her and after i got to know her better i started devolping feelings for her as we both seem to been in the same position in our childhood, but me beeing really bad at romantic stuff never dared to make a move... too me her imperfections made her unique too me... also stop seeing her wont be a option she will be having a job but she will still work out the same time like me on wednesdays.

It really just comes down how i devolped a crush on her and i feel sad for her that she has no friends and nobody to lean on and i've been in that position (Her mother told she would kill her if she sees her again) (her dad is never home and is also autistic so can't really handle this kind of drama)

Also the unstable part is very true now i think of it she accepted the fitness way of life and she is now running her days on a schedule she has a morning routine, she has a eating routine, she has a working out routine where she says she can't go to the gym longer then 1 hour and i think thats part why she no longer wanted to train with me because i easily extended it too 1.5-2 hours. she always goes at the same times on the same days and always goes home in the same fashion, her life outside the week i had with her was literly a record on loop, also she i oftend asked her what she did at the guidance home she said my roomies allways say im bussy asked her with what she said ''i don't know'' that was the awnser to the question multiple times then she said well cleaning and doing laundry i said that doesnt take up 8 hours she shaid i dont really know what i do so i guess she is just sitting staring infront of her when shes at the guidance home.

She is an a**hole.

Simple.

This is typical btw and it's not just among the aspie females.

There are women out there that once you show them your weak/vunlerable side, they become mean and a**holes to you and they start hitting your nerves.
Those like dominant men and they do not have any respect to sensitive men (and some even lie about liking sensitive men; or they mean it differently - probably sensitive yet strong as wrong).


This is not an uncommon phenoma, go ask men about it;
also check this:
https://www.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/com ... _struggle/


OP, your next action with this girl:

Ignore her, ghost her; don't ever initiate any text with her.

And if you bump into her in real life, just say Hi and go on in your way as if she's just some acquaintance.
And if she texts you, don't reply quickly, keep hee waiting for hours.
And if she asks you why you're being cold with her then tell her "because you're a b***h, f**k off".

Last edited by The_Face_of_Boo on 29 May 2017, 11:50 am, edited 1 time in total.

I hope this doesn't sound too blunt, I am not trying to be unkind.
I think she ended her relationship with you. Just because you developed feelings for her does not mean that the feelings are mutual. You seem to be trying to work your way around this fact. She said she does not want to work out with you. She dropped you on snap. She told you that she found you annoying. She is ignoring you. She is making her feelings very clear. Please respect her choice even though she may be handling this somewhat clumsily.
Its not some mystery answer that she expects you to decipher and then all will be well.
This is a path that some relationships take. You meet. You get to know each other. You decide if you want to continue to a deeper relationship or be friends or be acquaintances or nothing.
If she changes her mind she will most likely make that clear as well. The best thing to do is give her space and stop trying.

I have not found this behavior to be unique to one gender.
It does sound just like when someone acts and appears like they genuinely like you but then never calls you back to continue the relationship.

Last edited by beady on 29 May 2017, 11:52 am, edited 1 time in total.

You are disregarding the fact that she's being direspectful to him tho. She should respect him too; I don't think the OP is being the direspectful one.

Yes, she is not exactly respectful but she has been clear. She is not having him take her out and then treating him poorly. She is trying her best to stop the relationship and has even told him (unkindly at best) why.

Ok.

OP, follow my advice.

Leave her and treat her poorly (an eye for an eye) if she tries to speak to you.

That was someone else you replied that too, but i'll follow up on you but you gotta take in account her life is a record on loop so ill run into her 3 times a week and she goes around the time same time me and my friends go so yeah... no switching either way i still hope she gets back to me be it as a friend.

She was the one asking me out after her becoming obsessed with me and literly blowing up my cell and sending me ''kinky pictures'' and her ending the relationship was vague at best

I never really vocally expressed my feelings and with our generation flirting is as meaningful as saying hi to someone or by body language displayed any of my true affections for her, her on the otherhand became physical, devolped a obsession with me blowing up my phone the next day after she stayed till 3 am at my place, on that day she asked me out and she sended me ''kinky picktures'' without timer on a platform where most pictures are on a timer, i think something i must've said or she was brooding and decided to end contact.

Jeez man; she wouldn't be good even as a friend.

It just doesn't seem like you and her would get into a healthy relationship. It seems like they'll be breakups, then reunions, then breakups again. I've been in too many of these sorts of relationships; it's harmful to both people in the long run.

Nothing wrong with a casual friendship. Something deeper wouldn't work out for either of you, in my opinion.

I do understand how you identify with each other. I identified with an ex-girlfriend who ultimately became a drug addict, then took her own life. I was lucky I was able to see how bad it would have been to remain with her, even though she was "the love of my life." She would not listen to my advice, did not understand how her lifestyle choices were awful for her. I couldn't remain with her under these conditions.

Your situation is not as extreme as mine, but it is similar.

That is indeed way more extreme, however do you think she'll come around to be friends as of now im nothing to her, after all the time i sink into her in 1 week like 9 hours a day she asked attention i feel atleast even if you have aspergers she could give me a reason why she stopped talking to me or why i stopped excisting in her world.

Block her.

Once she finds out, her blood will boil.

Trust me.