Aspie guy nicer all of a sudden

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angela8
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30 May 2017, 9:37 am

Is this indicative of a crush or something else? He's usually nice but cranky. Now, he's sweeter, and I have no idea where it's coming from.


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kraftiekortie
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30 May 2017, 9:49 am

He probably wants to date you.

How do you know he's Aspie?



angela8
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30 May 2017, 12:52 pm

If I listed the immense number of traits he has, it would burn my brain. I'd say it's a definite, even though I may sound arrogant. I am crazy about him. I am also way too old for him. So....I can always wish.....
Thanks for answering. Angela


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kraftiekortie
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30 May 2017, 6:37 pm

How old are you? And how old is he?

I once dated a woman twice my age (when I was 19). My wife is 12 years older than me.

If I get a divorce, I wouldn't mind dating someone half my age (which would be 28 at present).



angela8
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30 May 2017, 7:00 pm

Well, he said the age difference was too large between us for a romantic relationship. He's 25. I'm 52.


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kraftiekortie
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30 May 2017, 7:10 pm

In a way, he's right. But, in a way, he isn't.

I think you like him for sincere reasons. You just might like him for his intelligence. I also think you might be one who likes to "take care" of people. A relationship between an Aspie who doesn't mind being taken care of, and somebody who likes to take care of people, might not be so bad.

Right now, my 60-year-old stepmother (4 years older than me) has to take care of my 85-year-old father to a certain extent. She doesn't feel frustrated by it, though, because she loves him.

When I was 25, I used to get the "hots" for women who were your age. I still find there are many attractive women in their 50's. To me, it's all in the "attitude" rather than mere physical looks.



angela8
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30 May 2017, 7:40 pm

I really do care about him, and also find him very funny, sweet, sexy, intelligent, amusing. In other words, I have a bad crush on him. Thanks for your kind words. It would cheer me up just to think that he might have a little crush on me. I do like taking care of people emotionally. I love listening to him tell me about his past. I simply adore him.


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kraftiekortie
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30 May 2017, 8:25 pm

You should see a movie together.



angela8
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31 May 2017, 12:05 pm

I'd love to see a movie with him, and maybe hold hands and be romantic. If he picked the movie though, he'd be so hyper aware of it, I couldn't get anything else going.


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kraftiekortie
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31 May 2017, 12:11 pm

What type of movie do you like to see?

He might like dry documentaries or something like that. Though there are Aspies who are into fantasy, and even into light romantic comedy.



angela8
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01 Jun 2017, 7:12 am

You have it right. He likes dry documentaries and sci fi. There is little chance this will happen, but in the off chance, I'll look to those type of movies.


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kraftiekortie
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01 Jun 2017, 7:50 am

Have you seen the movie "Adam?"

If you haven't, this might give you a little insight into people with Asperger's. A general idea, but an idea, nevertheless.



angela8
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01 Jun 2017, 11:24 am

Thank you so much. I will look for that movie. You're very kind.


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TheSpectrum
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01 Jun 2017, 6:21 pm

Sounds like he's considered going out with you at least a fair bit for him to say those things (we have a tendency to overshare). But there's also a lot of self defence mechanisms triggering off to defend him from rejection - his stand-offish nature, creating reasons that balance the scales in his favour as to why it wouldn't work (your age being the issue, not his age) etc.

His recent change of behaviour might be because you are giving him positive signals and he's warming to the idea.

Invite him out! Not that it should be you needing to initiate, but I think it would get the ball rolling :) good luck.


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angela8
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02 Jun 2017, 9:30 am

I don't remember the conversation we had, where he brought up the age difference. I may have said something prompting that. Thanks for your input. I hope it's true.


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Richardf269
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02 Jun 2017, 10:39 am

He's being nice because he wants to date. All men do this, it's not weird for men to do this. I do it, too.

That being said, 25 and 52? Agree that you're too old. I'm 34 and even I wouldn't date a 52 y/o. By the time I'm 40, you'll be almost 60. Don't get me wrong, I know women who are in their late 40's and I still wouldn't date her even if she wanted me to. By the time I'd be 50, I'd be taking care of her instead. Plus when you get older, you'll be basically just bitching at him with how old you are. Do you really want that kind of relationship?