"Coming out" to your SO, reactions?

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I have AS, but most people would never guess it unless they got to know me super well (very very few people fall into this category), and even then, they would likely only guess if they too were on the spectrum or understood the signs and traits well. Pretty much any time I've brought up AS/ASD with people, they immediately demonstrate how ignorant they are of both and how much misunderstanding and stigma there still is regarding the condition. It's very irritating and frustrating. Because of this, I never tell anyone I'm on the spectrum. I've only told two people, one of which is my roommate who is also on the spectrum, and even then, it wasn't like we really had a conversation about it; just that we acknowledged we both have a lot of the traits and that was it.

Anyway, while I don't feel AS defines me, it certainly is a big part of who I am, and I do think that knowing I'm on the spectrum and understanding AS/ASD is necessary to understand me and who I am. Because relationships are a lot about understanding the other person, never opening up about me being on the spectrum creates a barrier, a barrier that is generally much more apparent to me than to them since I know about it but can "fake" semi-normalcy pretty well. I have considered being more open lately though, but before I tell anyone, I would like to hear from others what their SO's reactions have been, especially the reactions from peoples' NT significant others.

So, to bottom line, for those of you who have opened up about your ASD to a partner or partners, what has been their reaction?

Thanks.

She & all my friends tell me it's not usually apparent, I'm very reserved nonetheless. Esentially the only person I can discuss this directly with is my favorite person. The process continues; I need't expect us all to simeltaneously meet in the middle, I'm simply here to make my own contributions & meet understanding with respect.

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-Gem Tos

I can never "come out" to my wife. She thinks I'm nuts, anyway LOL

In essence, it has "come out." One of her nieces works with autistic children. She sees signs of them in me.

well my most long term (over 4 yrs) and only significant SO is NT, and knew i am autistic, and made jabs at me about it whenever he was mad at me and it suited the situation. ("are you so autistic that you can't even act like a decent person?" after turning down the radio to be able to hear what he was saying to me, only to be yelled at for ruining his song, and also for not hearing him. called a bad person for..being autistic? that's not even bad in comparison. but i'm not with him anymore.)

i think it can be hard to separate ignorance from misplaced anger sometimes. so be careful of that. or maybe i'm just dumb

sometimes people are un- or mis-informed, and if they can accept new information that is wonderful. i think people deserve the chance to understand different perspectives. i can only hope more people are willing to at least try to understand.

don't take my experience as meaningful. idk what relationships are really like, and it seems i've only been in messed up ones for quite some time. i hope that my truth so far isn't normal.