Drifting away

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rdos missed the entire point.
Additionally, the difference between friendship and romantic relationships is not sex. But seeing it so black and white like that is probably the whole reason why the whole point was missed. This is not about anything more than the dissatisfaction in a friendship with an aspie from the NT perspective. I don't think in either case, mine or the OP's, was there romantic feelings towards us from the aspie. Not even sure how that even can be deduced from what was said here. The bigger issue is how they have effectively ignored us, for lack of better term, which would hopefully not be the case if they actually had romantic feelings for us. This was about us feeling unfulfilled because of lack of connection or reciprocation from these men.

I love people.

Love does not tend to return my way.

_________________
"Standing on a well-chilled cinder, we see the fading of the suns, and try to recall the vanished brilliance of the origin of the worlds."
-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos

Blackimenance . . .. . I'm sorry for what happened with your friend. To me it is weird that he didn't say at the door "sorry mate I'm busy right now can I call you later" that is what I would consider normal behaviour.
Boo . . .. . . .he didn't think of me that way . .. . . .i asked him. . . .. . Also he isn't necessarily the most important person in my life. He is important but not the most important. Obviously it's only him I talk about here .. . . . .cos he's the one who drives me to distraction trying to understand him!
Intellectually I know he doesn't have the skills to reciprocate emotionally . ..

.
However . .. . .. . . .emotionally I still keep hoping even though I know it ain't going to happen

Drift away - Tom Rush

We all understand everything emotionally.

No one is emotionless.

_________________
"Standing on a well-chilled cinder, we see the fading of the suns, and try to recall the vanished brilliance of the origin of the worlds."
-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos

rdos, I am very sorry that you do not understand the difference between different types of relationships. But that is exactly case in point if you are an aspie, because neither does my aspie friend and if it were possible to help him understand then it would be possible for me to help you understand, but clearly it is not or otherwise me and the OP would not be in the sad devastating positions we are in. Also, you make a baseless claim that NTs go between different types of relationships, and originally you stated just by having sex. There is nothing in this thread that suggests in any way that NTs change between relationships, nor did sex come onto the conversation except by you. Again, I am sorry, but if nothing else, if you can see that there is this huge gap in your understanding of human interaction and relationships, then you might see the crux of the problem itself. Our aspies don't get any of it either, and that IS the problem. I want so much to be close to my "friend" but he doesn't know what it means to be close--to have someone to talk to, to share your high and low moments, to know you can rely on someone to be there for you and want to be there for them when they need support, to have someone to share your inner fears and secrets with, to have someone who truly KNOWS you inside and out, etc. But he's NOT there for me, and would rather just withdrawal than have someone there for him. So don't presume to say that is just how aspies are, because that is also the point, it makes my aspie friend no friend at all. I'm just a background part of the environment to him, which is an acquaintance not a friend--but I care so much more than that about him and want to be more than that but you can't have a one sided relationship. Thus the very painful reality that we feel we are forced to drift away because continuing being a good friend to someone who for all intents and purposes treats you like they don't give a damn is hurtful and devastating. It does not matter if there is a disorder to explain it, the rejected and hurt feelings we have are still the same.

And also, humans are not interchangeable. I don't just "pick" another friend to fill the space I wanted for him to fill because he was compatible in a unique way. For example, I have different friends that I do different things with and share different things with, but my aspie friend and I had geekness in common and where other people saw an annoying guy who can go on and on about his geeky special interests, I loved that about him and I could listen to and understand him for hours! I don't have another friend that I enjoy being with like that in that way. And that is one of the things that most people find annoying and weird about aspies. So do you see how he is throwing something valuable away just because he doesn't understand how to be a friend or what that even means? And I can't make him understand any more than you can.

There's a BIG difference between romance and friendship.

To both NT's and ND's.

Once my aspie texted me "good night". I didn't get that text until I woke up the next morning, so I replied "good morning". He snapped at me, accusing me of being inappropriate for saying good morning to him because apparently that was too intimate. Huh? So you can't say someone has romantic feelings over good night/good morning. I don't have a clue what that means to my aspie, because clearly there is some double standard there but I assure you, he does not have romantic feelings for me.

Expressing those exact feelings is why we're all here.

_________________
"Standing on a well-chilled cinder, we see the fading of the suns, and try to recall the vanished brilliance of the origin of the worlds."
-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos