Not Comitted

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I've noticed that although the thought of a relationship is nice I'm not into making that commitment to some guy. I'd rather focus on myself and what I want and need in life. I may not be attractive to guys but I don't care about something as shallow as that. I do dress nice and wear makeup but I do that because that makes me happy. The thought of having to do that for a boyfriend disgusts me.

I value my independence over romantic relationships. I hope that doesn't sound greedy or selfish. The last thing I need is for some guy who is into health like I am pushing me to lose weight (I've lost some weight but not because I want to be skinny) although I am a size 20 and I don't think that's massively obese.

The thing is, I'm too in love with myself to be in love with another person. Is that too much to ask? Has anyone ever felt this way?

Well it's your choice.

I find the thought of being too in love with ones-self to be in love with another person to be extremely cringy, but to each their own.

Like this video on facebook I saw of some woman marrying herself and throwing a huge expensive wedding that would certainly gain attention of and potentially even get in the way of passerbys....So by all means love yourself too much to love another person but please don't take it to that level. I mean I just wanted to tell her 'OK we get it you're single and happy with it.' it was just too much.

Yes, it's selfish, but in a way all relationships (at least successful ones) are selfish. Nobody would stay in a relationship if they got nothing back from it.

Anyway, if you don't want a relationship, why are you on this forum and why are you thinking about potential dates?

You sure about that? I mean, I'm sure you love yourself if you say so, but too much to love another person? Maybe you just haven't met "the one" yet. And it's okay to love yourself, no matter if you're single or not. It's fine to love yourself more than your partner if/when you get one; I'm pretty sure many people do. It's just that if you're in a relationship you should also love that other person. Who you love more, him/her or yourself, doesn't matter. At times it's perfectly okay to put your own needs above your partner's as long as you don't do it all the time. Personally I think that that would mean one loves themselves too much.

For example, let's say you get a boyfriend and you love him. You spend a lot of time with him and do lot of different things together and sometimes you convince him to do things/go to places he doesn't like together because you like them. That's okay, but if you would do this often yet never do anything he likes but you don't together even if he wants to, then that's not okay. In order for a relationship to work, you have to make compromises and sometimes put the other person's needs before you. This does not mean that you would need to do things you hate or things that are dangerous, but if there's something your partner likes and you simply don't like then from time to time, you should put your own desires aside and try to please him. If you find the idea of doing something you don't like for the happines of your partner, then relationships probably aren't for you.

Then go for FWB type of relationships.

The only thing that changed my opinion about relationships was when I met someone I genuinely wanted to spend time with most of the day. That's a very rare situation for me.

Cool! I'm in a commitment, and I feel stifled in it.