Things Romantic Movies Get Wrong About Relationships

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magz
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30 Sep 2017, 4:55 am

Well, I suppose the law may accept polygamy but I don't expect it to become a norm.
Polygamy is good when your tribe fights a lot and you are left with a high number of young widows. But in a steady, safe environment it causes serious social imbalance and uneven distribution of genes. See fumarase deficiency in a fundamentalist Mormon community: http://www.bbc.com/future/story/2017072 ... c-disaster
This happens when the winner takes it all.
Also, there are people, both genders, more intrested in settling down and having someone to live with than simply in sex. At least in my country.

I don't date because I've found the right guy.

Are there really movies where the guy is poor and low status but persistent enough? I don't recollect any ATM. (but the ladies in the movies are always beautiful)


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30 Sep 2017, 5:59 am

magz wrote:
Well, I suppose the law may accept polygamy but I don't expect it to become a norm.
Polygamy is good when your tribe fights a lot and you are left with a high number of young widows. But in a steady, safe environment it causes serious social imbalance and uneven distribution of genes. See fumarase deficiency in a fundamentalist Mormon community: http://www.bbc.com/future/story/2017072 ... c-disaster
This happens when the winner takes it all.
Also, there are people, both genders, more intrested in settling down and having someone to live with than simply in sex. At least in my country.

I don't date because I've found the right guy.

Are there really movies where the guy is poor and low status but persistent enough? I don't recollect any ATM. (but the ladies in the movies are always beautiful)


Titanic.



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30 Sep 2017, 6:11 am

Closet Genious wrote:
magz wrote:
Well, I suppose the law may accept polygamy but I don't expect it to become a norm.
Polygamy is good when your tribe fights a lot and you are left with a high number of young widows. But in a steady, safe environment it causes serious social imbalance and uneven distribution of genes. See fumarase deficiency in a fundamentalist Mormon community: http://www.bbc.com/future/story/2017072 ... c-disaster
This happens when the winner takes it all.
Also, there are people, both genders, more intrested in settling down and having someone to live with than simply in sex. At least in my country.

I don't date because I've found the right guy.

Are there really movies where the guy is poor and low status but persistent enough? I don't recollect any ATM. (but the ladies in the movies are always beautiful)


Titanic.



And he died for her...



The_Face_of_Boo
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30 Sep 2017, 6:12 am

magz wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
But honestly it's not always the case; the most stupid and the greediest and the most gold-digger women I'ver known are all married now.
Men can easily be fooled too and often have very low standards.

I see women with very low quality personality getting relationships or getting married all the time. And I know good women who will probably die single.

In my community, I found out that ugly but good natured people marry the earliest :)
I believe it's because once they find someone interested in them, they don't want to lose their chance.

BTW - if you know good women who would probably die single - why, in your opinion, is it like that? I'm just curious, for I live in rather limited little society with too high male-to-female ratio to see this.



Because they reached a certain old age without getting married or being in relationship - so chances are high they will die single.



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30 Sep 2017, 6:15 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Closet Genious wrote:
magz wrote:
Well, I suppose the law may accept polygamy but I don't expect it to become a norm.
Polygamy is good when your tribe fights a lot and you are left with a high number of young widows. But in a steady, safe environment it causes serious social imbalance and uneven distribution of genes. See fumarase deficiency in a fundamentalist Mormon community: http://www.bbc.com/future/story/2017072 ... c-disaster
This happens when the winner takes it all.
Also, there are people, both genders, more intrested in settling down and having someone to live with than simply in sex. At least in my country.

I don't date because I've found the right guy.

Are there really movies where the guy is poor and low status but persistent enough? I don't recollect any ATM. (but the ladies in the movies are always beautiful)


Titanic.



And he died for her...


That's the least he could do right? He was poor after all.



magz
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30 Sep 2017, 6:18 am

Closet Genious wrote:
magz wrote:
Are there really movies where the guy is poor and low status but persistent enough? I don't recollect any ATM. (but the ladies in the movies are always beautiful)


Titanic.

Point for you.
His advantages: Looks and artistic talent. Yeah, talent is something appealing to many women.


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30 Sep 2017, 6:21 am

magz wrote:
Closet Genious wrote:
magz wrote:
Are there really movies where the guy is poor and low status but persistent enough? I don't recollect any ATM. (but the ladies in the movies are always beautiful)


Titanic.

Point for you.
His advantages: Looks and artistic talent. Yeah, talent is something appealing to many women.


lol.



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30 Sep 2017, 6:24 am

Closet Genious wrote:
magz wrote:
Closet Genious wrote:
magz wrote:
Are there really movies where the guy is poor and low status but persistent enough? I don't recollect any ATM. (but the ladies in the movies are always beautiful)


Titanic.

Point for you.
His advantages: Looks and artistic talent. Yeah, talent is something appealing to many women.


lol.


A talented man is definitely appealing to women - so long as its his job.



magz
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30 Sep 2017, 6:25 am

Lol about talent?
Well, maybe. I didn't live in the hippie times when a boy with guitar could have any girl. Maybe that's a myth.
But you're right about Titanic, it's pure fantasy.

Outrider, it can be a hobby if he has another source of income :P


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30 Sep 2017, 7:15 am

Closet Genious wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Closet Genious wrote:
magz wrote:
Well, I suppose the law may accept polygamy but I don't expect it to become a norm.
Polygamy is good when your tribe fights a lot and you are left with a high number of young widows. But in a steady, safe environment it causes serious social imbalance and uneven distribution of genes. See fumarase deficiency in a fundamentalist Mormon community: http://www.bbc.com/future/story/2017072 ... c-disaster
This happens when the winner takes it all.
Also, there are people, both genders, more intrested in settling down and having someone to live with than simply in sex. At least in my country.

I don't date because I've found the right guy.

Are there really movies where the guy is poor and low status but persistent enough? I don't recollect any ATM. (but the ladies in the movies are always beautiful)


Titanic.



And he died for her...


That's the least he could do right? He was poor after all.



Yeah it would be boring otherwise.

Her being with him in a poor house washing the laundry by hand and not wearing Victotian-like clothes anymore? Not a happy ending and not arousing for the target audience.

If I recall right, Poor guy - rich girl stories usually end with the guy working hard and getting rich.



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30 Sep 2017, 12:10 pm

Speaking of Titanic


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magz
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30 Sep 2017, 1:02 pm

Interesting video, I think he got it right with Titanic - in this case "romantic" means just "you are worth so much more than me that I easily give my life". Who wouldn't like to hear something like that?
But it is lightyears from healthy relationship, yeah. "Romantic" is not healthy almost by definition.
(I didn't like Titanic btw, it was way too illogical for my taste)
I also agree with the quote that Women are capable of being total f***ing jerks.
I think the guy apologizing for her passive agression is somehow equivalent to a woman who doesn't leave a man who beats and abuses her. Yeah, the instinct can be really destructive in such situations :( In both sexes.

But I disagree with the part about pregnancy. Our species has rather unique reproducing strategy, with quite handicapping pregnancies (been there, know that), dangerous birth (luckily less dangerous nowadays) and very long childhood, when the young require care and support. On the other hand, humans form societes.
So it is valuable from the reproductive point of view that the society helps pregnant women, who are physically and mentally (yeah, feminists may hate me for this but I went throught it) less capable for this time.


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30 Sep 2017, 6:16 pm

magz wrote:
Well, I suppose the law may accept polygamy but I don't expect it to become a norm.
Polygamy is good when your tribe fights a lot and you are left with a high number of young widows. But in a steady, safe environment it causes serious social imbalance and uneven distribution of genes. See fumarase deficiency in a fundamentalist Mormon community: http://www.bbc.com/future/story/2017072 ... c-disaster
This happens when the winner takes it all.
Also, there are people, both genders, more intrested in settling down and having someone to live with than simply in sex. At least in my country.

I don't date because I've found the right guy.

Are there really movies where the guy is poor and low status but persistent enough? I don't recollect any ATM. (but the ladies in the movies are always beautiful)


Here on the west coast of the USA. Women would rather remain unhappily single then settle for less then perfect guys. Women won’t date me they’d rather be single then dat a guy who works min wage and takes the bus, same women complain there’s no men and they lonely

So you got into a relationship, saying you took yourself out of the dating pool sounded like you choose to remain single and not date.

Yeah lots of movies take that plot. Most recent I can remember is the Kevin Hart and will smith movie. Fat loser guy with help of will smith gets the rich supermodel woman.



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30 Sep 2017, 9:01 pm

I have NOT read this entire thread----I just wanted to get my two cents, in here, based off of the OP.....

I feel the movies "Arthur" and "Pretty Woman" were realistic, in that I feel that opposites DO / CAN attract----but, one has to be open to learning about / accepting of someone who is very different from them. Also, I feel that a "bonus" in both of those movies was that they showed strong women who had "struggled-through", and that money doesn't buy happiness.

At the end of "Pretty Woman", Richard Gere's character says, something like: "So, what happens when the prince climbs-up the tower to rescue the princess?"----then, Julie Roberts' character says: "She rescues him, right back"----and, I think that's pretty profound, because he didn't know he needed rescuing; he thought he had life all wrapped-up, because he measured it, by success / money / power, etc., and I think that happens, OFTEN, IRL (with men AND women).

In "Arthur", he never stopped to think about life in any other way, cuz he never HAD TO----he just went-through life, like "la, la-la, la-la"----but, when he met the character with whom he fell in-love, he began to think about life, from different angles; and, I think that's very realistic, as well, cuz oftentimes we grow because of the people with whom we come into contact----and, falling in-love and living happily ever after, is certainly not unheard-of!!

I feel "The Big Bang Theory" is another good example of "Yeah, it's fiction----but, there's a lesson to be learned, here" (regarding relationships, in general). I mean, look it..... Penny is "just" a cow-tipper from Nebraska----and ALL of the characters think that their PhDs (and, Howard's "pathetic" Master's LOL) has taught them all they need to know about life----but, Penny has taught them WAAAAAY more; and, I think that's very realistic, as well, because, again, we can learn from those that have had different experiences, and so-forth, from us.

Another really cool movie in the realistic sense, IMO, is "Legally Blonde". I'm always looking for the psychology behind everything (people's behavior, and so-forth), and in that movie, everybody just dismissed Reese Witherspoon's character, as "just another dumb blonde"----but, she wasn't; she just thought-of things, differently, than everybody else----and, isn't that, at least, ONE of the things we Aspies are "known-for"? (I'm NOT suggesting / believing that she was an Aspie----I'm just saying that there was more to what just appeared, on the surface, in that movie.)

"Forrest Gump" is another extremely profound movie, IMO, in that here was Forrest being next-to an all-out retard, and still many, MANY things / opportunities came his way----and Jenny, who was "normal" (with whom he was in-love), kept getting into all KINDS of struggles, and stuff. That's profound, on ALOT of levels----Forrest didn't EXPECT life to be that great and it WAS, and Jenny DID expect life to be great, and it WASN'T; and that movie was very realistic, IMO, as well, cuz, often, we don't see what's right in front of us - and, thank GOODNESS Jenny did, in the end (cuz she chose Forrest).

I'm often saying "I don't think it should be taken, that literally"----but, with these examples, I've given, I'm saying "Maybe we should look deeper; there just might be something else, THERE". (I actually broke-up with a guy because one of the reasons I didn't like him [there were many], was because he thought the movie "Forrest Gump" was stupid----and, I thought: "If you can't think any more deeply than that, I'm SOOOOO not gonna waste my time, with you!!".)





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01 Oct 2017, 3:18 am

I like Pretty in Pink because Andie won't change for anyone. She makes her own clothes, she works hard at school. The only makeover scene is one where she designs her own hideous dress.

She likes Blane because he's different to the other guys. He's polite. He seems to respect her. Until he starts to worry about his reputation and ghosts her.

There's no way they stay together though because he's such a drip influenced by his parents and friends. He has no backbone. They kiss and make up at the end, but there's no way They would work out. That's unrealistic.

Now Duckie is the ultimate nice guy. He has no ambition, but is obsessed over Andie who totally isn't interested.



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01 Oct 2017, 3:29 am

atruelove88 wrote:
Pop media does not always portray realistic relationships.


I'd go as far as to say it almost never portrays realistic relationships. Granted, there are exceptions to the rule, but they're few and far between.


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