Male disposability in life & dating

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Both would be ideal.

There's no correlation between intelligence and being good/entertaining in conversations.

I heard the salaries are so equal and all the equality indicators are so high in Northern Europe, almost no social stratification, we all should take an example from you, in Sweden it wouldn't matter what your job is... oh, does it?

I'd even claim there is a NEGATIVE correlation between intelligence and conversational skills.

Well... Doctors and engineers do earn quite a bit more than say, a kindergarten teacher, but they also pay ALOT more taxes(our taxes are exponential, not linear)so in the end the difference is not that big. Especially when we also take into account the gap in work hours.

But what was your point anyway? That money actually is more important than being intelligent and working hard?

My point was that in such an equal society, despite all the political corectness enforced, women still go for money. For me it means, the government politics failed to create the society they would dream of. Only the facade of it.

That's an interesting question. I used to be very overweight myself, and lost it because I wished to have a more active lifestyle. I don't think obesity is compatible with the activities I would like to do with a potential mate, and I find the health problems that often come along with extreme obesity burdensome.

My friend of many years, who also used to be my roommate, was extremely overweight, and was from the time I had met him, and we did have many good times together, however we could not do many of the activities together that I enjoy doing,which are primarily outdoor activities, because he was in too poor of a shape to do them. We also had different lifestyles, his which both contributed to and maintained his excess weight. Additionally, he developed diabetes and the expense of his medication proved to be a significant financial burden.

So for those reason, an extremely obese person would not be my first choice of mate if there were nothing more compelling to override that.

However that doesn't stop the fact that one of the men I was somewhat attracted to and would not have minded dating was as obese as my roommate.

So to answer your question, I would prefer my mate to be of a healthy weight, and it would be something I would use as a filtering preference on a dating site, but I would not reject an obese man I found myself attracted to in person.

This was actually a big obstacle I ran in to when I began to actively seek a man (being they weren't seeking me). I kept finding myself attacked by men with strange theories who were bitter at rejection they received in their teens and 20s, from girls and women who were certainly not me. They would concoct stories about my history which were completely untrue, for example, that I spent my 20s having a lot of sex with "alpha males" while ignoring the "nice guys" and use that for justification of their abuse towards me and other women. One man told me he doesn't date women my age because we all have "baggage", but how can I have baggage if I've never been on a vacation, so to speak? This was when I was 27, by the way. 10 years later, at 37, I now get men insisting I'm not suitable for them because they want children, and apparently they think 37 year old women are all barren. The reality is, I can easily give a man 3 kids the natural way before my fertility actually runs out, and a lot more if he wanted to do IVF. And then there's the men who hate all American women, 40 year old's who claim to only date 20 year olds and then dump them after they have sex (yes, they actually thinks that makes women jealous of them), and the men who hate all American women because we are supposedly all materialistic. The reality is, being on the spectrum, I was the "nice girl" who those "nice guys' largely ignored, and I don't deserve to be the recipient of abuse or hostilities of the men who are bitter over being rejected or dumped at a time in their life where most men experience rejection and most people get dumped. I don't deserve to be the one who's attacked just because I'm the only woman still standing around, who they ignored while they chased after all the "real" girls. Anyway, I've concluded that if there is a man out there for me, I will likely not find him on the internet.

I'm so glad people think these are good qualities that matter when they dont.

Well, maybe they don't matter to you.
But if you want to spend your life with someone, it would be good to be able to have a good conversation. And to be able to talk and understand each other. And have some shared interests.

I call bs on this. Unless you were fat while young you had ton a of guys approach you. Fat is the only major turn off to most men. So either you were fat or hung out with a non approachable crowd.

The so-called Bible Belt in the United States is a lot like that, too. Marknis hates it, I know. But the women are beautiful, warm, and friendlier towards the “traditional housewife” attitude. Women in the US in general are more “liberated,” so while southern women might lean more traditional, they see themselves as more on an equal level with men.

They are also well aware of what they’re sacrificing by being housewives, so they also tend to be higher maintenance. That’s when you find out that “for richer and for poorer” in your wedding vows mean absolutely NOTHING.

But, yeah, I mean... If you’re a rock-solid, consistent guy, likeable, can keep a job or have some kind of plan for upwards mobility, AND a you can weed out all the psychos and gold-diggers, Southern women are the best anywhere for traditional gender roles.

I’ve dated “Yankee” girls, too. Totally dig the sarcasm, how they let you know where you stand and are brutally honest. They like their independence, not just paying lip service to it like Southern women do (Southern women can be needy—until you piss ‘em off, then they need no-one). There are lots of good-looking Yankee girls, just like there are lots of prettty Southern girls, but Yankee girls are...um...less attentive to their looks. It used to be with Southern girls you had to dig through 3 inches of makeup to see what she really looks like, whereas Yankee girls don’t need all that crap.

There are good/bad qualities everywhere you look. I had more fun dating Yankee girls than Southern girls, but had longer and more meaningful relationships with Southern girls. I’m more attracted to natural beauty, too, and I felt I got more of that with Yankee girls. My best friend (Southern girl) seemed to me a good mix of the best of all worlds, so I think ultimately your decision is less culture and more what works best for two people.

Do you want to know why it doesn't matter? It's because talking is a LEARNED skill. It's something you can TEACH someone if it matters. It's not a make or break quality that makes a nice guy be a sh***y one just because his conversational skills arnt A+. Not only that but attraction and feels for one another built over time easily make what would seem boring conversations turn into fun ones because it's with someone you care about. Hence why it's useless. Women and Men who master conversational skills usually do it to seduce others or sway them kinda like how politicians do. But yes let's ignore the fact the people who practice this and hone it to talk to others usually have an ulterior motive let's make it a standard a guy must have to be attractive. Good priorities in a partner.

EXACTLY! that's what I keep saying all the time, culture cannot change biology.

I don't know how bitter your expiriences are. Maybe you need some counselling for this?
There are many ways one can learn to appear more attractive to the opposite sex. Makeup, clothing, workout, hairstyle - do you see all these as traps too?
I learned conversation skills to steer out of fights on family gatherings. They are useful outside dating, too. If it made me more attractive - good for me. I'm married and quite counter to your "seduce and sway" theory.

But money is part of the culture If you talked to an indigenous Amazonian girl living the traditional, uncontacted jungle lifestyle, she is probably attracted to good hunters and skilled fishers. They may not even know the idea of property, let alone money.
Okay, I agree to the "biology" part this way: a man should be able to provide goods and safety when the woman is pregnant and busy with kids... because it has been working that way for all the survival-driven generations.