My Girlfriend has Aspergers

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We have only been dating for 6 months and the first 5 months were great but she changed jobs and this new job is taking all of her attention. She says she is under stress and hasn't wanted to see me much and we haven't had sex in over a month but we talk to each other every night. I do love her but is there anything that can be done to calm her down and make her more affectionate?

Does she know about this site? It seems like its an issue she needs to work on herself with support from you.

I will be telling her about this site for sure. She was on prozac in her early 20's and it wiped out all her inhibitions to the point of getting all kinds of tattoos and quit taking it after a few months.

Is there anything else that can help with sypmtoms?

It is the lack of empathy that really has me. She knows it bothers me but then she just calls me needy.

Hold on, you've been only dating for 6 months and you've had sex at least once a month? Whoa, that's REALLY going too fast.

Perhaps she doesnt' really have an interest in it and only was pretending to have one to please you. (I got that way sorta with my ex--I drew the line at getting naked.)

Also, you need to remember that we are different from neurotypicals and need understanding. Perhaps she's empathizing in a different way than you're used to. Make sure she feels safe with talking to you. She could just be afraid to talk for fear of getting bullied. (I've been there myself.)

Unfortunately, I don't think it's going to be possible to make a woman more affectionate. It's just one of those things where you either get a really needy aspie or a really detatched aspie. As for calming her down, you just need to show that you're there for her. Show her that you will talk about her problems if she has them and help her get through them. That's the best(and by far most cheezy) advice I can give you.

Postscript-If I weren't lovestruck myself I would never, ever give such cute advice.

I will rephrase so that I get my full story accross. We have been dating for 6 months, the first 5 months, we had sex everyday and she wanted me with her all the time. Now since taking this job, she has focused all her attention to this. It even takes much of her personal time thinking about it and talking to her coworkers about it on the phone at night.

5x30=150. You had sex...I'm too astonished to speak after that. Wow...

Edit-Bad math due to sleepiness. Now changed.

Last edited by subatai_baadur on 28 Aug 2006, 8:42 pm, edited 1 time in total.

5X30 is only 150. There are only 365 days in a year.

maybe your girlfriend needs me instead! ill only take her if she's cute though

just kidding btw, man thats exactly how im going to rock it when i get a girlfriend, sex everyday 7 days a week. i'll never get tired of it!

That was rude buddy. I am serious.

Has anyone tried Passionflower powder. passiflora incarnata?

I think that Subatai_baadur has given good advice. I'm a somewhat detached aspie female and I would prefer that someone look me in the eyes (even though I'm not big on eye contact) and really talk about the issue in a way that shows his concern for my feelings or issues. I actually haven't experienced this yet, but I dream of it, and I think that this is what other detached aspie females might respond to as well.

what was rude about it? i thought the just kidding btw thing cancels out anything that might be offencive.

So I am dealing with a detached aspie female that has extreme anxiety and emotional term oil. I have to show her how empathetic I can be and prove to her that she can relax around me and that I am there to compliment her not make things worse.

When she isn't stressed, we have a lot of fun together so a month without sex has been hard but I am just afraid that this type of behavior might lead to a very unsatisfying relationship.

any hints

You got 5 straight months of sex. My hint is that you should let that soak in before you start complaining.

Postscript-These cooking types are always coming up with the craziest new ideas. "Term Oil". Got to try that. Is that one of those things you only find at the weird organic food markets, or can I find it alongside the vegetable oil?

Yes, I have, in homeopathic doses, not for problem with my emphaty, though. Not sure if it helped at all. Central stimulants help aspies now and then but maybe your girlfriend won't take any "school medicine" (that is, medicine that doctors prescribe) at all?